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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with head teacher

54 replies

Sugarmagnolia · 14/02/2008 11:57

for sending us a letter that said - The local council has a school attendance target of 97.6%. Your DD only has an attendance record of 94.54%. I am sure you will agree it is of great importance for the children's education that they attend when possible and that you support your child in this. If you would like the school to support you, please let us know.

!!

We sent back a letter saying that while we realise she is only carrying out council policy we resent the tone of the letter as we feel it suggests we are deliberately keeping our DD out of school. We also said that we completely agree that it is important to send her to school but we feel it is equally important not to send her when she is sick.

Was this an overreaction?

OP posts:
SSSandy2 · 14/02/2008 11:59

I find it ridiculous that they sent you that letter.

VinegarTitsOut · 14/02/2008 12:00

YANBU, this kind of thing pisses me right off

VictorianSqualor · 14/02/2008 12:01

Stoopid, It could've been worded much better, especially as the parents who allow their children to stay off school willy nilly probably won't give two hoots about the letter.

pooka · 14/02/2008 12:02

I think you were quite right in sending the letter back.

At dd's school they have a weekly newsletter, and name the class with the best attendance record - think they get a mention in assembly. I find it

Dd is in reception class and there's a horrid virus doing the rounds, she had 4 days off last week and this week is so pasty and post-viral that I've been in two minds about sending her (though have in the end). But why congratulate a class for not having ill children that weeK? If your child is ill, they shouldn't be in school.

Original poster
Sugarmagnolia · 14/02/2008 12:30

I think it was more the suggestion that we were somehow keeping her off school when she wasn't sick that made me angry! And I don't think I was the only one.

OP posts:
MicrowaveOnly · 14/02/2008 12:35

lol her letter is to one decimal place - do they measure their attendance to the minute or what??

you have to make a stand, show her how ludicrous she is being. Guidelines are exactly that, just an indication. She should be hunting out those below 80% say. Not a few percentage off.

She's a head she should be able to deal correctly with statistics. I'd be fuming as well OP.

Dandi · 14/02/2008 12:41

not an overreaction at all! sounds like a ridiculous way to try and manage the situation. surely a quiet chat with the parents where they have specific worries about attendance would be better? 94.54% sounds like a really good attendance rate to me, especially with all the horrible bugs that go round schools

PrettyCandles · 14/02/2008 12:43

This obsession with quantifying education to the umpteenth decimal place is so pathetic and counter-productive. We now have the most over-tested and over-recorded children in Europe. Yet we're not allowed to know where our children stand WRT the rest of their peers (ie the class). I'm so tempted to withdraw ds1 for the SATs week - but I know there's no point as he'll have spent the weeks previous to it learning to pass the tests, rather than learning.

Yesterday dd had a GP appointment, and another mum told me that I should have made the appt later so that dd could have been present for registration. Why? I'd rather have the appt as early as possible, so that dd can get to school as soon as possible after it, than a later appt which means that the GP generally runs late by the time our appt comes up, so we miss more school. Far more important to be in school for classes, than for registration.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/02/2008 12:43

I applaud you for sending a fair letter back. It sounds like you are an easy target and the parents who don't send their children to school for no good reason, would probably be seeking legal advice and compo for the stress this letter would have done to them. Imo

Vacua · 14/02/2008 12:45

I had something like this from my daughter's teacher, worse really, she'd had in total about 2 weeks off for 2 separate illnesses - a bad tummy bug and icky impetigo - the teacher came to find me in the playground one afternoon and said 'I'd love to give your daughter a part in the play but is there any point, given her attendance record?' fucking sarcastic bitch.

Limara · 14/02/2008 12:50

some teachers/heads are becoming like little hitlers IMO, do you thinks it comes from higher up?

mrsruffallo · 14/02/2008 12:52

My dd was in school nursery and I was summoned to see the truancy officer for too many days off sick. Ridiculous really

Original poster
Sugarmagnolia · 14/02/2008 12:53

Actually, microwave the letter was to two decimal places! And PrettyCandles, that was exactly the point my husband made - he wanted to know if DD was actually off any more than the other children in the school but of course she won't tell us that. He also pointed out that if the average for the district is well below the target than maybe the target is unreasonable!

To be fair I don't think we were being targeted specifically -I think every child in the school who fell below 97.6% attendance got a letter - which was probably just about the whole school I would imagine!

Vacua - that's awful!

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 14/02/2008 13:01

Let us know the reply of your letter Sugar! And Yes, I would have done the same..

Sent a similar one to the area manager of the local Kids Club groups (Saturday/holiday play sessions for SN children who are referred via their social workers so parents can get a break/kids get appropriate care & stimulation.. and it's not free!) because of the wording of their standard info which stated..

"If you are more than half an hour late to collect your child and neither of your emergency contacts can be contacted either, we will have no choice but to notify social services and leave the matter in their hands." (!!!)

My letter said.. "If I am ever more than half an hour late and uncontactable I think you should assume that something either life-threatening or completely unprecendented and out of my control has occured in which case calling social services to suggest that my child has been abandoned would be comletely inappropriate! Never in all my years of experience with child care institutions have any of them felt the need to make such a stipulation on their standard information! Are you suggested that, because our children are disabled, we are more likely to consider dropping them off and not returning for them??"

The response informed me that the club had been running for 34 years and that wording had been used in all that time and nobody had ever complained before.. (and??! Well they have now!) but that they would consider rewording.

Some people just have powers issues I think!!

Others (like me!) just have "issues"!

Original poster
Sugarmagnolia · 14/02/2008 13:04

yes, I've been told before I have ?issues? - they're obviously all wrong and out to get me however.

OP posts:
hanaflower · 14/02/2008 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra · 14/02/2008 13:08

my son got one of those for being off 4 days, i just binned it. waste of paper imo.

ecoworrier · 14/02/2008 13:44

ShinyHappyPeople - that letter from your Kids' Group is actually a standard policy. Our playgroup has a similar policy, as does every playgroup I know - we have been told by social services, Ofsted and just about every other body going that this must be our policy. We have a list of procedures we have to apply in order - try to contact one parent on all numbers available, try to contact all emergency contacts we have for that child, but yes after half an hour we are told we MUST contact social services.

So it's nothing to do with your child being disabled or with power issues, it's a child safety and protection issue.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/02/2008 13:45

Yep, had the same letter at the playgroup my first went too. Scared me a bit tbh.

PrettyCandles · 14/02/2008 13:48

Yes I've had that (social services if you're late) letter, too, but worded somewhat better!

sdr · 14/02/2008 14:26

The bit that gets me is that the schools also say that they must not go back for 48 hours after vomiting/diarrohea. So there's 2 days just like that.

Vacua · 14/02/2008 14:33

also what would they prefer you to do when your child gets nits, send them in before you're confident you've tackled it? we've had days off just for that when have only noticed them in the morning for example

the annoying thing is when you feel pressured to send them in when they are not entirely well and then you get the Phone Call and have to schlep back to get them, grrrr

jenkel · 14/02/2008 14:43

But the annoying thing is this actually has nothing to do with the childs education, its all to do with statistics.

smartiejake · 14/02/2008 15:30

Ofsted also have something to say about attendance. Have they gor an inspection coming up?

Original poster
Sugarmagnolia · 14/02/2008 16:18

I don't know if they have an inspection coming up but the head is pretty new and I think she may feel she has something to prove. Having said that, the few times I've actually spoken to her she's been really nice so I don't think she's going out of her way to be unreasonable, probably some admin thing she was told to do. But even so I think she needs to feed back to whereever this is coming from that it is unreasonable. I'm sure I'll get a reply from her so I'll let you know!

OP posts:
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