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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby left in car

75 replies

callsocialservices · 07/04/2023 15:39

Faced a dilemma today I hadn’t previously had and wondered what others would do.
I was alone in the car with the baby (1 year) and was running low on petrol. Pulled in to fill up, then, to my horror, realised ‘pay at pump wasn’t working’.
Wasnt sure if it’s ok to leave baby, lock car and go pay (no queue) or take baby out of car and into the shop with me to pay.
Ended up leaving them. Asked my group of friends what they thought and got a varied response so wondered what others thought:
YABU - take baby with you, they is likely to die in the car that long alone.
YANBU - baby will be fine it’s only 2 mins

also would be curious to know if response would be different if the baby was asleep or not.

OP posts:
FlowersAndBonnets · 07/04/2023 16:21

MrsDoylesDoily · 07/04/2023 16:18

But a million and one things could happen if you take them with you.

One isn't riskier than the other if you're going to pull extremities out of the air.

Show quote history

The risk is higher and the scenarios worse if baby is left alone.

If you have baby with you at least you’re actually looking after baby.

wombat1a · 07/04/2023 16:22

Leave them, all this 'lots of things can happen in under a minute' are true but I never watched my kids every single minute of the day 'just in case' something happened.

In the locked car in the shade seems fine to me, certainly safer than carrying them across the forecourt.

L3ThirtySeven · 07/04/2023 16:23

FlowersAndBonnets · 07/04/2023 16:21

The risk is higher and the scenarios worse if baby is left alone.

If you have baby with you at least you’re actually looking after baby.

Show quote history

I don’t think the risk is higher. Probability of a petrol fire exploding the car are infinitesimal compared to a distracted driver running you over while you are carrying the baby.

OoooohMatron · 07/04/2023 16:24

FlowersAndBonnets · 07/04/2023 16:03

I would always take my baby, asleep or not. I think it’s neglectful not to.

Really 🙄

TheGoogleMum · 07/04/2023 16:29

I'd leave in car to be honest. Nipping in to pay is quick.

AskMeMore · 07/04/2023 16:30

I have always thought garage forecourts are dangerous places. Too many cars and vans driving around by pedestrians with no pavements.
I have also never seen anyone take a baby into a garage kiosk to pay.

nutbrownhare15 · 07/04/2023 16:35

If asleep I'd leave them. If awake they'd be upset if I left (or could get upset) so I'd take them in with me. Now my kids are older I just leave them in the car. I have it in my sight the whole time.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 07/04/2023 16:38

FlowersAndBonnets · 07/04/2023 16:03

I would always take my baby, asleep or not. I think it’s neglectful not to.

Och away you go. It’s in no way neglectful to leave a baby fully within view in a locked vehicle, in a forecourt covered with CCTV cameras, for a couple of minutes.

Like a PP I used to do pay at the pump or Asda. On an occasion when that wasn’t available I took my 2 in, it was a right pain in the arse, since then I would have left them as long as the car was within view.

Wispawispawispa · 07/04/2023 16:38

I always leave my children in the car to pay. 2 & 5years old. It’s safer for my 2 year old to be in the car, he’s wild.

Thehonestbadger · 07/04/2023 16:39

My general rule is it’s fine as long as

  • You can see the vehicle clearly at all times
  • You can reach the vehicle, in an emergency, in less than 20 seconds seconds (longer than it sounds trust me)
  • The weather is not extreme
  • There’s not lots of people milling around

There are a handful of garages/supermarkets which meet my requirements and I leave the kids in the car (both toddlers now) but some I won’t. Usually older garages where the windows don’t give you a clear view of the car

TooOldForThisNonsense · 07/04/2023 16:40

FlowersAndBonnets · 07/04/2023 16:16

You are neglecting their safety and putting them at risk.

Lots of scenarios can happen within a minute from fires to choking to kidnapping to the less extreme too.

Show quote history

The fact that all sorts of unlikely scenarios could happen in any number of given circumstances does not make it “neglectful” not to have your baby conjoined to you at all times.

Oblomov23 · 07/04/2023 16:40

Leave the baby. They are safer in the car.

Maxineputyourredshoeson1 · 07/04/2023 16:44

FlowersAndBonnets · 07/04/2023 16:03

I would always take my baby, asleep or not. I think it’s neglectful not to.

Do you always take them to the toilet with you too?

Todaynotalways · 07/04/2023 16:48

I take DD.

But, I am very cautious and prefer to have her with me.

I don't really think any harm is likely to come to her from a mimute or two waiting in a locked car.

But the 'what ifs' lay heavily on my mind.

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 07/04/2023 16:48

Well i would probably laugh at the moron who thinks a baby will die if left in a car for less than 5 minutes. Die of what exactly?

Mumsnet opinion is also you can't leave a sleeping baby in full view on your own drive in normal temperaturs as cars often spontaneously catch fire.

It's fine.

Marymary987 · 07/04/2023 16:50

I always leave them in the car, there is no way I’m taking 4 kids across a petrol station forecourt when I can just leave them in the car for the 2 minutes. I’ve always left them even when I just had the one.

Iwant2move · 07/04/2023 16:50

I always left mine in the car in the UK. Trying to get three safely across the forecourt seemed impossible. In California, they accompanied me. Cars got stupidly hot.

Albiboba · 07/04/2023 16:51

Just because they aren’t likely to die doesn’t mean it’s a reasonable thing to do. That’s a pretty low bar imo.

Bournetilly · 07/04/2023 16:52

I always take mine with me.
It’s very unlikely that something would happen to them in the car but why take the chance? What if something happens to you on the way in to pay or inside and no one knows they are in the car?
Id also say it’s more likely something would happen to them in the car than coming in with you.

shutthewindownow · 07/04/2023 16:55

No right or wrong answer. Just do what you think is right at the time

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 07/04/2023 16:56

I always left them in the car. Sometimes that 2 mins alone was the thing that got them through the day.

Soontobe60 · 07/04/2023 16:57

GaspingGekko · 07/04/2023 15:43

I've seen a lot of posters here saying it's safer to leave them in the car because of there being lots of cars moving around - risk of being hit I guess.
But I was always more worried about fire so always took mine in with me.

How many petrol stations have you seen on fire?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/04/2023 16:59

My thoughts are that them being safely locked in the car, in sight, for the under 2mins it takes, is safer than carrying them across a forecourt twice.

Soontobe60 · 07/04/2023 17:00

Bournetilly · 07/04/2023 16:52

I always take mine with me.
It’s very unlikely that something would happen to them in the car but why take the chance? What if something happens to you on the way in to pay or inside and no one knows they are in the car?
Id also say it’s more likely something would happen to them in the car than coming in with you.

If something were going to happen to you on the way in to pay, such as being hit by another car, then your child would likely also be seriously injured at the same time.
However, if you’d left your child in the car, do you honestly not think someone would actually notice, or do you think your car would just be left at the pumps indefinitely?

meatballsoup · 07/04/2023 17:01

Has the world gone fucking mad that someone needs to ask this utter wankery?. Put in the petrol & then go pay for it. Realistically what do you think will happen in the 2- 3 mins that will take. When was the last time you heard about a petrol station randomly exploding?