AIBU about my partners laziness towards baby prep

[Gizzy93]

I'm 32+5 and my partner has done absolutely nothing to prepare for our baby. It's our first baby.

I feel a little bad because he works 50-60 hours a week and at the moment he's the only one bringing in an income because I can no longer work for the remainder of my pregnancy.

But on his days off he does nothing. He'll either have a super lazy day (which he is entitled to!) Or he'll go fishing. Which again, he's entitled to.

But he doesn't even take half an hour to do do any sort of prep for the baby. I've got friends and family coming in today to help us paint the room because he's gone fishing and has absolutely refused to paint the room. My brother who lives with us has done more than my partner has and it's not his house or baby.

I feel I'm being unreasonable here because he does work long hours, im not working and he is entitled to his relaxing time on his days off. But I also feel like he should be doing more to prepare for baby.

I don’t think he can be that lazy if he works 60 hour weeks, that’s a lot of hours.
I wouldn’t expect him to paint a room on a day off with those hours. But if he had a week off, he should be interested and want to prepare for the baby coming.

Read this again and can’t believe OP isn’t working and is home every day, while the partner works 60 hours a week. And she’s complaining he is lazy for not painting a room?? That’s crazy.

When I was pregnant I had hormonal spells
of being very unreasonable and I wonder if this is something similar

It seems like your partner disagrees that the room NEEDS to be painted. Ie it is in good shape as it is and he likes the colour, you just don’t like the colour. Therefore he has said it is your job if you insist as it isn’t necessary to redecorate - not that as a pregnant woman, it’s your responsibility. Ultimately your baby will be happy regardless of the colour. It’s not like it’s unsafe.

You’ve had sex with this man, live with him and are about to bring his child into the world. Therefore you should be comfortable raising these things with him and coming to a solution. Being lazy or a bad communicator doesn’t change once a baby is born unfortunately. You need to start compromising and working together pronto or else the baby will push your relationship apart.

it seems like you have a lot of family support which is good. it seems like he feels exhausted with work and craves alone time.

I love how you reiterated this!

The only prep my DH did before our DS arrived was to do NCT classes, shop for a car seat and buggy with me and put together the cot. My DH works normal hours and from home. He was a perfectly good parent when the baby arrived.

I don't see that there is much to do. If I were him I would be doing as many fishing trips as I could before the baby arrives. Working 60 hours and then coming home to parent a newborn will be tough.