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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’m unhappy in my new house and regret buy it now.

91 replies

CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:27

I recently moved out of a rented house that I lived in for 6 years. It was a small house with lots of compromising features that made it difficult to live in sometimes, especially for entertaining but I was really happy there. When I moved to the area for work, it was that house which anchored me, it’s all know and I have great memories there of my life over the years. My neighbours were great too. I feel really sentimental about it. And, when I moved out it was in better condition than when I first moved in. My landlord was happy!

To get on the property ladder, I exchanged last month and after serving notice on the rental, I’ve now been in the new house for about three weeks. The only compromise was that it is in the next village from the town I left which I liked living in and has a small driveway.

Since moving in I must say I hate it. Firstly, I feel very unsettled and it doesn’t help that I’ve been in a new job too.

The new house is a quaint cottage but the unusual layout that I thought was attractive when I viewed it, is annoying me now and the bathroom is downstairs. The laminate floors are horrible and my TVs don’t fit anywhere. At the moment I’m eating off my lap like a student and not a professional adult, until the dining room is finished. It’s much colder than my last house, the street noice is loud and there are noises inside that I’m unfamiliar with too.

I’ve also discovered that I have rats living in my loft and had pest control have been out twice, which last night they pulled one dead rat out of the loft. There is another one they couldn’t find. It was disgusting. I feel despite my house being clean it feels feral to me now. I truly hate being in the house knowing these pests have been here. This pest issue is also costing me a lot of money.

I’m sat here now in my living room and feeling fed up. I’d love to be sat in my other living room in the old house where I feel safe, secure and to know that my lovely neighbours are there and without the rats.

Has anyone else been through this or can recommend ways to feel happier, as I’d really appreciate it. I hate this feeling of regretting such a big decision to buying this house. Everyone else who’s visited me loves it but me.
Thank you x

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/04/2023 20:29

Give it time,it's only been 3 weeks. The longer you are there and you get settled and have sorted out your furniture etc it'll feel more like home. No wonder you feel unsettled with a new job as well,that's a lot of change all in one go.

StarDolphins · 06/04/2023 20:34

I lve
my house but when I had rats I totally & utterly went off it, I just hated it & was trawling rightmove thinking it was the house I hated. Could it be the rats & feeling unsettled generally at the minute?

You must’ve seen qualities in the house to but it & could’ve pictured yourself there?

TottyKnickers · 06/04/2023 20:34

Aww, no, but you will grow into it I'm sure

TwitTwooTooYou · 06/04/2023 20:34

You will soon make it into a cosy home. Thee feelings will fade as you settle in.

We moved into a shit hole. Seriously, the (single) bloke was hoovering as we turned up to view. I think that as the last time he ever did it. Everywhere was filthy including light switches and a big greasy head mark where he sat up in bed. We wore shoes in the house for days until we cud get the carpet ripped up, and then had bare floors for weeks until new flooring was fitted.

I now LOVE our house. Things will improve.

rwalker · 06/04/2023 20:37

It absolutely takes time
the other thing that you try on make stuff you had and bought for your old house fit in the new it doesn’t work your tv are prime example of that
mice and rats could arrive in any house at anytime you’ve just been unlucky

Ilikewinter · 06/04/2023 20:37

Yeah new house and new job can be unsettling. However the rat issue would bother me.

caringcarer · 06/04/2023 20:43

You have done 2 of the most stressful life events, moving house and changing jobs all at once. No wonder you are finding it hard. You will make the house your home over time. Pick one job at a time and get it done. Soon you will get used to it. Invite friends over. Make good memories there.

KitKatflavours · 06/04/2023 20:45

Last time I moved home & job at the same time

It took me 3 months until I felt settled

It takes time

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:45

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/04/2023 20:29

Give it time,it's only been 3 weeks. The longer you are there and you get settled and have sorted out your furniture etc it'll feel more like home. No wonder you feel unsettled with a new job as well,that's a lot of change all in one go.

I’m glad it’s a long weekend to sort out my house a little more, but until I know there are no pests and the loft is clean of the rat droppings, I won’t enjoy the house. I’m trying to see the positives but it’s hard.

OP posts:
Thelittlekingdom · 06/04/2023 20:45

I’d say give it time. Change is unsettling and you’ve done two big things at once. I would take a beat and think about what lovely things you could do to your current house. It’ll start to feel like yours in no time.

workistoomuch · 06/04/2023 20:45

I felt so similar when we moved out of our old rented house that I loved. I cried a lot and even asked if we could move back in! 4 months down the line and I'm feeling much more settled where we are now, making friends im thr village, done some decorating, sorted issues etc. I think and hope it will feel better soon x

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:46

KitKatflavours · 06/04/2023 20:45

Last time I moved home & job at the same time

It took me 3 months until I felt settled

It takes time

Oh really? How did you push through the 3 months to feel happier?

OP posts:
ActDottie · 06/04/2023 20:46

Give it time, I think most people I speak to feel unsettled when they first move which makes sense cuz it’s a big change! Give it a bit longer and get things set up like the dining room and sort the TVs etc and I promise you you’ll feel more settled there.

The rat issue is annoying but you’re doing the right thing getting the pest controllers in and that’ll be sorted soon. I’m sure that’ll help you be more settled, but I think it’s totally normal at first to feel how you do.

Genevie82 · 06/04/2023 20:47

Hi OP, I’ve bought a house which we discovered had a big rodent issue.. inside the house and garden too. Mice and rats.. it was a rodent hotel! We dealt with it and they have been gone years - it will sort itself out but I think it takes years to really get used to a new house feeling like your home and decor/ furniture is key xx

Jellykat · 06/04/2023 20:48

It takes time as others have said, the bits you hate (like the laminate) can be sorted out in time, and every new house has different noises, you'll get used to the 'sound' of this one eventually.
As for the rats, the little buggers are everywhere, even in towns, how do you feel about getting a cat?

Having said that, i have in the past bought a house i lived in for 6 months, but resold again as it didnt feel right.

Give it time, but if you still feel the same after giving it a good shot, sell it and start again! .. bit of a palaver i know, but nothings set in stone forever!

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:49

workistoomuch · 06/04/2023 20:45

I felt so similar when we moved out of our old rented house that I loved. I cried a lot and even asked if we could move back in! 4 months down the line and I'm feeling much more settled where we are now, making friends im thr village, done some decorating, sorted issues etc. I think and hope it will feel better soon x

It’s reassuring that I’m not alone. I cried lots when I moved out. My old neighbours have been in contact but I need to have some sort of closure. I’ll take your advice and decorate the house to add some of me into the fabric of the property. Maybe I could use this as therapy. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 20:54

Jellykat · 06/04/2023 20:48

It takes time as others have said, the bits you hate (like the laminate) can be sorted out in time, and every new house has different noises, you'll get used to the 'sound' of this one eventually.
As for the rats, the little buggers are everywhere, even in towns, how do you feel about getting a cat?

Having said that, i have in the past bought a house i lived in for 6 months, but resold again as it didnt feel right.

Give it time, but if you still feel the same after giving it a good shot, sell it and start again! .. bit of a palaver i know, but nothings set in stone forever!

I don’t want to get a cat, some family members are allergic.

Though, when I got my mortgage the bank valued it higher and I did negotiate money off, so if in 6 months I feel the same I may rethink the house. Thank you.

OP posts:
Stillwinston · 06/04/2023 21:08

Although you loved your old house, did you love paying off someone else's mortgage? Even if in 6 months you decide that the house isn't right for you, you now have an asset that is absolutely yours - this is a massive thing which you should be really proud of 👍

Congratulations on your new house OP and I'm sure that you'll come to love it in no time 😊

Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 21:08

StarDolphins · 06/04/2023 20:34

I lve
my house but when I had rats I totally & utterly went off it, I just hated it & was trawling rightmove thinking it was the house I hated. Could it be the rats & feeling unsettled generally at the minute?

You must’ve seen qualities in the house to but it & could’ve pictured yourself there?

The rat issue just made the whole thing worse. My parents, mum especially, doesn’t want to stay over now to keep me company. The house doesn’t feel clean now.

It’s just so much has happened all at once and I guess the old house was just so familiar and less stressful.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
CountryGirl17 · 06/04/2023 21:12

Stillwinston · 06/04/2023 21:08

Although you loved your old house, did you love paying off someone else's mortgage? Even if in 6 months you decide that the house isn't right for you, you now have an asset that is absolutely yours - this is a massive thing which you should be really proud of 👍

Congratulations on your new house OP and I'm sure that you'll come to love it in no time 😊

Thank you. That’s a lovely spin on the situation. I’m so focused on the negatives right now I’m not seeing the positives. Paying someone else’s mortgage wasn’t a good thing and you’re right, this is an asset!

OP posts:
Moreorlessmentallystable · 06/04/2023 21:15

Give it time. We moved to a cottage 2 and a half years ago. When we moved the house had been left in a disgusting state, dog hair everywhere, one side of the house had carpets with no underlay and the other side had wooden floors that were so expanded when we moved they formed an apex on the floor ..( they were not as bad when we viewed and the process took about 9 months after last viewing)...house was littered with dead wasps and there was a little field mouse coming in too! The first week one of the bath taps just flew off as the bathroom was falling apart too..I felt so disappointed back then, but now it just feels like home , we have taken care of all the wasps and blocked the gap where the mouse was getting in, changed all flooring, one of the bathrooms renovated, etc, it takes time to settle and make a stranger's house a lovely home 🏡. You need to persevere OP

AgrathaChristie · 06/04/2023 21:17

I too have ugly laminate but that’s better than my last house when I moved in, the carpets could have walked out by themselves. I had them ripped up and down the tip within 24 hours. Buy a couple of nice rugs to break up the laminate.
Decorating helps to make it feel yours, as well as small things like cushions, throws, maybe a houseplant or two or some flowers. Also changing the smell of a house using scented candles or an oil burner will help.
I agree with pp who’ve said changing your job at the same time as moving house has doubled the stress.

Peppadog · 06/04/2023 21:18

OP I moved 5 months ago and I still ache for my old home. My old home that I moaned about constantly because it had no outside space and was on a busy road. I miss my neighbours, I miss the warmth of it, the lightness of the rooms, my old area.
I just feel desperately sad. I think it's normal to pine for your old home, I'm hoping I will adjust in time and I'm sure you will too.

FFF3 · 06/04/2023 21:20

Three weeks is nothing. Of course you’ll feel unsettled, even with a dream move. Give it 6 months and see if you still feel the same then.

WonderingWanda · 06/04/2023 21:24

It's a big adjustment moving house, especially when you have been so settled and happy in the previous house and if the new house feels like a step backwards in terms of work to make it nice.

I felt that way about my house 10 y