Aibu to agree completely with this teacher? Teaching should not just be trusted to the teachers?

[Bláthannabuí]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10367349/Parents-children-lessons-DAY-school-says-Superhead-Katharine-Birbalsingh.html

Article is from last year. But I agree that parents should not just rely on schools to teach their children. Also she's right that many parents do extra at home but don't tell.

I honestly think that if she feels secondary school children need hours of extra tutoring outside of school to do well, that is a terrible indictment of her school and its teaching methods.

Primary children may need help with concepts, or extra practice, and parents are best placed to provide that. All children benefit from an interested parent, trips/tv programmes/reading together about the subjects they are studying, etc. But hours of actual direct tutoring at GCSE level, in all subjects? No, most kids do not need that, if their school is in any way adequate.

The teachers would focus most attention and teaching input on the "smart" kids, and kids like my son were kind of just left to the wayside.

Crikey, which school was this? I’m a very experienced teacher but haven’t been able to focus on the ‘smart’ kids for over a decade. Nowadays our time is spent managing behaviour, mental health issues and SEND.

We were specifically told not to teach reading before school. Instead, we were told to read to/with our child, every night. And I consider myself to be very on-board with supporting my child’s learning at home. Although I’m a teacher; I’m not clued up on how to teach things like reading, phonics and so on. I place way more value on allowing her to develop a love of learning, to make it easier for the professionals to teach her.

Oh and she is not “bottom of the class” either.

@Timeturnerplease That was my experience of school in the 90s, too - it was crowd control, not learning! The only schools I’ve known that can focus only on the smart kids are the private ones.

The thing is, parents that are able and willing to do extra work with their child(whatever form that takes) they'll always do that. They don't need any more articles or encouragement or pretending they discovered sliced bread.

Oh I totally agree @Goldenbear I suppose that was the point I was trying to make.

Totally agree with them.

By the time my DCs went to school, they could do basic reading, write their names and had other what I think of as key skills like manners, toileting, good behaviour etc.

I've always done extra stuff at home, especially now I have one doing GCSE this year and one next year. You can't expect the school to teach them everything because there are 30+ per class and one teacher and one classroom assistant (if they're lucky).

But then I do think that for some school is also used as free babysitting. The amount of times the same few kids in each DC's class have been sent home after vomiting everywhere.

It can't be easy being a teacher

Find this all a bit stressful tbh. When are working parents supposed to do all this? Also, am I the only person whose child is extremely reluctant to be "taught" anything by their parent? DD (Yr 1) reads to me every night and I her. But anything else- maths especially- she is very resistant to my trying to do with her.

You don't need to teach them at home at all.

You do need to have an interest in them as a person.

You do need to teach them some independence in where their belongings are, whether or not they need glasses in school

You need to teach them resilience to get along with others around them.

You need to teach them manners so they don't call out.

You need to make sure they are fed/dressed/clean

You need to stop having adult conversations about adult decisions in their hearing (tough one I know).

You need to make sure they are at school on time most of the time.

If these were done at home. I could concentrate so much more time on actually teaching them the curriculum.

A bit of reading/spelling support/maths practice of times tables etc. Would be amazing.

This is at a Primary level obviously.

I think parents do have a responsibility to support their child's learning. Reading, spellings, making sure they do their homework.

For me, it was about trying to instill a love of learning without my children really realising. We have always read to ours, ever since they were toddlers. They're in a house full of books (because DH and I are bookworms). Now the eldest can read fluently (Y2) she reads for pleasure aside from her school books every night. That's what I wanted, for them to want to pick up a book. We play children's science kit games with them, some of these involve maths. We weigh and measure when we bake. We use a ruler when we want to draw a shape and cut it out. They're learning all the time they do these sorts of activities.

Teaching subject specific stuff? Nope. That's schools job. Support for homework I will always do as well as providing an environment where they can sit quietly and concentrate and helping build this into their normal routine. Actual concept teaching should be left to the experts, IMO.

It is difficult when both parents work or parents aren't able to do these things. I work part time, so I have more time. DH works full time though and he still finds time to do things with the children. I find it hard to believe that parents have no time at all to dedicate to play which is also helpful to their child's education.

Katharine B is big on family values and I agree that education starts in the home. I’ve worked in great schools but I have also seen how some kids get the short stick in other schools and even with the lottery of who teaches them.

I took some time out to be a SAHM when mine were very young and honestly I was surprised by how I would have sacrificed professional growth and done it for longer. IF I had a good income coming in from something like property and renting (which was mine and not my husband’s). I feel it’s hard to be as hands on and involved in their education as I’d like to be when juggling parenting with work but I remind myself of the other benefits of me working too. Tbh I think I’d perhaps be too much of an overbearing tiger mum if I could comfortably afford to be a SAHM throughout their childhood.

I think the simplest things we can do when they’re young is read with them every day and try our best to help them establish good foundational maths knowledge. Obviously we all try to instil the message about the importance of education and a love of learning so that hopefully they develop their own interests as they grow up and take their education seriously. That way when it comes to the things I really wouldn’t be able to help them with, hopefully they’ll at least behave in a way that’ll be conducive to them getting the most out of their education. I hope anyway but parenting is tough.

In an ideal education system, 'concept teaching' is the remit of the school teacher but in the current state of affairs, it is a must! My youngest is year 7 and would be overwhelmed if we didn't step in as the lessons are essentially 'crowd control' and she is not learning the content. This is in a very oversubscribed school. My year 11 DS did not have the same experience in year 7 as my DD, the contrast in quality of education is striking!

'It is a must for the parents', that should read.

We watch youtube lectures on anything relating to history or current topics they're learning at school.
The eldest marks are impeccable.

I absolutely agree with her.
I taught for 15 years in a variety of secondary schools and, believe you me, children are at a massive disadvantage without parental input.

Our children (4 and almost 3) attend extra Spanish lessons once a week. We supplement this at home and with visits to family in Spain. We are actually here at the moment and have bought a heap of books and question cards for them.

I'll be asking for my Reception child's scheme of learning for the year and ensuring we supplement history through visits, discussion, crafts and books.

I've taken advice on how to help with his writing and am working on this with him.

We regularly visit the science museum and have lots of maths resources...scales, fraction games, counting games and workbooks. We do simple addition with my eldest all the time because he likes it.

We listen to my eldest us tell us a story most nights - he can't read yet but we also read to him and ensure there are piles of books in every room of the house for both children to access.

We take them swimming, as well as pay for swimming lessons.

We eat together at our table every night and talk. We usually play Orchard games afterwards.

I'll do whatever I can to help my kids thrive.
They will be privately educated and have access to great facilities but we will do everything we can at home.

We both work full time too, so it can be done.

Her school’s results are formidable. I believe kids who go there do two grades better in subjects on average which is unheard of. But she places a great deal of emphasis on culture and family values which are the bedrock to these results. I’m sure she spends a lot of time and effort with parents, ensuring they’re aligned with school. I agree though that kids shouldn’t need tutoring (and the biggest problem for me is that it widens the gap between those who have and those who don’t). I imagine she’s talking about the state of education more generally eg staffing crisis, poor behaviour…

I was a teacher, and I prioritised the children in my class over my own family (I don't recommend this). I worked very hard, provided lots of extra curricular opportunities (in my own time), got the kids work published, winning local and national competitions, performing in charity fundraising concerts and municipal events, on tv... But every one of those children needed their parents to be supportive, interested in everything they were learning and proactive in finding additional hobbies and interests for them if they were going to have a chance of reaching their potential. Talking about the environment, going to the library, enjoying volunteering locally - all these things can be free if parents can't afford scouts, tennis and violin lessons. I expect Ms Birbalsingh would wish parents to focus narrowly on academic subjects, but from a child's perspective learning is a much bigger thing than pie charts and Florence Nightingale - they benefit from growing up in a home that values leaning and promotes confident discussion about everything.
And she's right about other parents not telling you... It's a survival instinct thing - we naturally want to give our own children an edge when we can, and their peers are the future competition. It's natural not to want to share all our efforts, or to risk being judged as pushy or entitled for encouraging children to learn music theory, money management or join. the local embroidery group, but parents risk missing out on opportunities to enhance their children's lives in many ways if they think children's learning is 100% sorted at school.

Awful woman, awful school.

@FrodisCapering We both work full time too, so it can be done

Says someone who can afford weekly Spanish and swimming lessons, orchard games, have jobs that allow you the time to all be home to eat dinner together every night... And also takes trips to Spain and will privately educate them.

Am continually amazed by how clueless some people here are about the lives of others.

@Cantstaystuckforever By Orchard games I don't mean playing in an actual orchard...I mean the ones that are available for £5 in Tesco!

The Spanish and swimming lessons are a priority. Our phones are getting on for five years old, we have an old car and the Spanish trip has really only cost us flights on a low cost airline because we have family here.

All the museum trips are free and we get lots of books from the library or from the Works in a bundle.

Yes, the education is expensive but that's a choice we've made. We were looking at holidays for next year the other day and couldn't believe that people would spend 6k for a week for two adults and two kids. We'll probably be camping!

We tend to eat around 6-6.30. I think a lot of people are home by then. Not everyone, granted, but many people.

Let them eat cake.

Whilst I wouldn’t wish to send my children to the type of school in the article, I do think I personally would’ve coped better at high school if there had been no talking during lessons and I could’ve followed better what the teacher was saying. I went to school in a rough area and all the teachers struggled to maintain orders. Luckily my parents paid for a maths tutor and a languages tutor for me. But that’s a privilege not everyone can afford.

We can’t afford to send our two DC to private school but we’re already saving to supplement their education with tutors. If the current situation in secondary schools continues - poor staff retention, constant stream of supply teachers, teachers teaching subjects that aren’t their specialism, etc, then they will need extra support at home, and DH&I won’t be able to do that at GCSE level.

I used to teach Year 1 in a reasonably middle class primary (mixed demographic but largely ‘respectable’, comfortably off families). I was shocked to find that about a third of parents were completely out of their depth with the maths content for my class of 5/6 year olds, and were unable to support their children’s learning at home beyond ensuring that basic homework etc was completed.

Birbalsingh, as usual, is being disingenuous. No way could the majority of parents in this country teach any significant part of the secondary curriculum at home.

@NualaMay thing is that there isn't a black/white choice of anarchy in the classroom or draconian regime. Many schools do perfectly well with a middle ground. It's a shame that the government is actively pushing for the full zero tolerance approach rather than funding schools properly so that they are adequately staffed and resourced. It's a shame that schools have been so constrained by the Gove reforms that they have little freedom to manage behaviour sensibly.

@MintJulia yes I'm the same. My dc's can swim, cycle, tie their laces & read before school. My sil is a teacher & I'm not exaggerating she said many 10 or 11 years olds can't do the above.. It's really sad. Those are all very important skills.