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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't get to sleep & got to be up at 430am for driving job

59 replies

Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 01:03

My son has got to be up at 430am to get ready for work as a delivery driver for a supermarket. This is only a filler job until he goes back into the armed forces it's only his second week.
He went to bed early enough & has done everything he can to try to get to sleep but at 1am he's still awake. Should he ring in sick or try to tough it out? He will not have had nearly enough sleep to be driving around from 6am til 2pm. It's worrying me a lot.

OP posts:
Mintyt · 06/04/2023 05:57

Did he manage to sleep, did he go in, I understand his worry, if he had an accident it could change lives, but I suspect he will be fine. I also think it's nice that a man in the armed forces still chats about his concerns to his mum.

Dita73 · 06/04/2023 05:59

Try burping him

PriOn1 · 06/04/2023 06:00

He’s young and he’ll manage. It’s not ideal, obviously, but there will be many others (me included) who have worked all day, then all night, then carried on working the next day, including driving. I’m a vet and worked on call for years. It happened now and again. We just got on with it.

FranksOcean · 06/04/2023 06:21

JMSA · 06/04/2023 04:57

The night before a new job is ALWAYS a dreadful sleep. I can understand your concerns, OP. If he can push through, that's better than taking his first day off. And he'll be more tired tomorrow night, so this is unlikely to happen again.
Good luck in his new job!

It’s his second week

GoodChat · 06/04/2023 06:26

He needs to just see how he feels when he wakes up (although it's too late for you to help him either way now).

He'll have known when he woke whether or not he felt safe to drive.

NewMum0305 · 06/04/2023 06:43

This thread is a prime example of Mumsnet posters being rude for absolutely no reason at all.

CaptainCorellisBagpipes · 06/04/2023 06:45

He needs to ring in sick.
If he drives with sleep deprivation he is a liability both to himself and any other road user.

Chuckydidit · 06/04/2023 06:48

Dita73 · 06/04/2023 05:59

Try burping him

😆

nomoremerlot · 06/04/2023 06:50

Dita73 · 06/04/2023 05:59

Try burping him

GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:11

To those who say they'd still go in, are you driving around all day? He has gone & he will see how he feels.
@NewMum0305 you're right there, best to ignore those that have nothing better to do with their sad lives.

OP posts:
shakeitoffsis · 06/04/2023 07:16

@Dita73 brilliant

Original poster
Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:16

@goyuwer yes they do, he's already passed basic training

@nomoremerlot no, he wasn't checking in with me. He was commenting in how he can't get to sleep. It's ne that's making the fuss as he's putting lives at risk by driving around all day, NOT him

OP posts:
nomoremerlot · 06/04/2023 07:19

Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:16

@goyuwer yes they do, he's already passed basic training

@nomoremerlot no, he wasn't checking in with me. He was commenting in how he can't get to sleep. It's ne that's making the fuss as he's putting lives at risk by driving around all day, NOT him

But you said

He's the one who texted me wondering whether or not to go after less than 3 hours sleep.

Which is what I based my comment on!

dietcokelime · 06/04/2023 07:19

Honestly OP, my DH has often done much longer drives on that amount of sleep or less! Just the way the world works somethings. He'll be absolutely fine to function as a one off.

Side note he really needs to work on his ability to be able to fall asleep - it'll do him no favours in the army otherwise! All squaddies I know can fall asleep and the drop of the hat in any situation because they know they might need to function on very little sleep!

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 06/04/2023 07:22

Existing sleep credit is a key thing to consider. If he is in sleep credit at the time of his sleepless night, he'll probably be OK. If he is in sleep deficit, he might find it hard to function.

I gather he's gone in so fingers crossed he'll get through his shift OK.

RichardHeed · 06/04/2023 07:23

The level of absolute horrors on this site gets worse every day.

Anyway OP, how is his sleep usually? If this is a regular job he needs to adjust his sleeping pattern. Tell him not to nap when he gets home no matter how tired, and get into a routine of getting up early even if he’s not working. If he can’t sleep, don’t lie in bed tossing and turning. Get up, do something out of the bedroom for 20-30 minutes then try again. No phones or screens an hour before sleep and ideally not in the room (as it’s easy to grab) the blue light disrupts your ability to sleep. White noise always helps me get to sleep faster too.

thegrain · 06/04/2023 07:23

This is only a filler job until he goes back into the armed forces it's only his second week.

Doesn't matter he's still paid to do a job. What did the armed forces train him to do in this position?

Original poster
Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:26

@dietcokelime yes you're right there. I've read that before & he knows it too. He never had trouble on basic training, probably because they work then so hard. It's just at home that he has trouble. It's something to work on.

@nomoremerlot yes he did say that, as a comment. But at no time did he ask my opinion on the matter.

OP posts:
coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 06/04/2023 07:28

Only he can decide whether he's safe to drive or not.

I'm sure he'll be fine though.

Original poster
Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:32

@RichardHeed thank you. I've just suddenly thought that he may have fallen asleep for a good while after tea. He's fitness mad & did quite a bit of training yesterday, so he could easily have fallen asleep before bedtime. At least he'll have had some sleep earlier, so he may not be surviving on just 3 hours after all; but yes day time napping is going to mess his sleep pattern up

OP posts:
SheikYerboutiii · 06/04/2023 07:33

It’s really worrying how many people think driving while knackard is ok. If you’re advocating this and making shitty jokes then I presume you’re happy with a loved one being mown down by a driver who falls asleep at the wheel?

He needs to stop and rest at the first signs of fatigue and tell him employer. Legally they have a duty of care to ensure all drivers are well to drive and that includes fatigue.

https://www.brake.org.uk/get-involved/take-action/mybrake/knowledge-centre/driver-fatigue

Driver fatigue

Driver fatigue | Brake

Fatigue is a major cause of road crashes and could be as dangerous as drink-driving

https://www.brake.org.uk/get-involved/take-action/mybrake/knowledge-centre/driver-fatigue

EmilyGilmoresSass · 06/04/2023 07:37

Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:11

To those who say they'd still go in, are you driving around all day? He has gone & he will see how he feels.
@NewMum0305 you're right there, best to ignore those that have nothing better to do with their sad lives.

What the fuck did you even ask this question for? You obviously wanted everybody to respond saying to ring in sick and don't like that they aren't so you're getting cheeky. Don't ask if you don't want to hear the alternative! Given his own mother has taken to a public forum to ask this absolute life ultimatum on his behalf, I'm beginning to understand why an adult had to consult his mother on such a question in the first place.

nomoremerlot · 06/04/2023 07:56

Valerie65 · 06/04/2023 07:26

@dietcokelime yes you're right there. I've read that before & he knows it too. He never had trouble on basic training, probably because they work then so hard. It's just at home that he has trouble. It's something to work on.

@nomoremerlot yes he did say that, as a comment. But at no time did he ask my opinion on the matter.

Oh it was a comment not a question?

Should I go in

Not should I go in?

Stop back tracking.

monicagellerbing · 06/04/2023 08:05

He'll be fine till 2pm. What are you going to do when he's a parent OP and has been up through the night with a baby? How do you think us working mothers do it!

starfish4 · 06/04/2023 08:09

I normally feel tired two days later (not the day immediately after) if I've had a bad night's sleep. Either way, he's contracted to work, so needs to do his best to fulfill that. If hes struggling after a while, then ask if he can go home sick or do something else behind the scenes.