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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or in wishful thinking land to think babies that sleep well from the start will generally stay the same?

28 replies

Anewd · 05/04/2023 13:20

DS now 5 months. He obviously woke every couple of hours for a couple of months and we are yet to have a full night of unbroken sleep… but he’s always been easy to settle and now stirs briefly at 5am then sleeps again until 9. No feeds overnight anymore, last feed at 11.

Im worried as DH and I are in the process of separating and I will be on my own at night shortly. Would it be silly to be hopeful here? I’m quite worried.

OP posts:
ApocalypseNowt · 05/04/2023 13:28

DC1 started off as an award winning sleeper and is still going strong at 11! She could sleep through a bomb going off.

DC2 was a bit of a crappy sleeper - got a bit better but still just seems to need less sleep than some.

So to answer your question, yes there is hope!

Wishing you the best OP Flowers

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 05/04/2023 13:30

Sleep changes, new issues, nap dilemmas etc: no one can answer for you but you probably won’t see the every couple of hours waking of a newborn

hmrcwoes · 05/04/2023 13:56

Sorry to be this person but DS was brilliant at the start then at 4 months it went downhill and now at 4 he is still awful Confused

JenniferBarkley · 05/04/2023 14:05

My great sleeper went downhill at about 15 months, and was a crap sleeper for more than a year after that.

However, with her being a bit older if I'd been a single parent I would have sleep trained. With two of us we were able to muddle through (just about), on my own I would have been more proactive.

You'll be fine OP, best of luck to you Flowers

SprinkleRainbow · 05/04/2023 14:09

First DC slept like a dream til 8 months old. Still a crapper sleeper now, just doesn't seem to be able to sleep as much as they should. We semi co-slept for 12 months when I was a single parent. Would come into me about 5am and go back to sleep. Now just wakes at 5am. Age 6.
Second DC slept crap for the first 4 months then slept well, now is a bit hit and miss at 2. Has good nights and bad.

You will manage, it's honestly not unbearable. Early mornings are worse to me than getting up in the night lol.

Wha · 05/04/2023 14:35

I think after the first 3 months, you know what type you have. DS was a crappy sleeper and this was VERY clear by month 3. My friends with good sleepers also knew quite early and way before month 5.

I think you’re going to be ok 👍

Congratulations on the separation - freedom beckons! No more husband moods to cope with around the house! You’re about to be so much LESS tired.

incitethismeetingtorebellion · 05/04/2023 14:46

My eldest slept through the night from 8 weeks up until a god awful 5 weeks at about 6 months where I thought she (and I) would never sleep again. Once that passed she slept 12 hours 7-7 and still does now at 2 years old. Youngest slept through from about 5 months. He's just about to turn 1 and fingers crossed seems to enjoy sleep as much as the rest of the household.

DinnerNightmare · 05/04/2023 14:51

DC1 was a terrible sleeper for almost 2 years. No problems anymore now - he's 7.
DC2 slept through the night from 6 weeks. I thought it was a fluke but she consistently slept through the night, bar a few nights when she was ill or teething. She's 4 now and still a fantastic sleeper. So yes, there's definitely hope 🤞
You can do this. 🙌

StackBlocks · 05/04/2023 14:55

DC1 was an excellent sleeper as a baby and as a pre-schooler is generally OK but does get up in the night sometimes. I have to be really on it and nip night wakings in the bud or it escalates very quickly, so I think they would be a bad sleeper now if I let things slide a bit. DC2 was a good sleeper as a baby and is an excellent sleeper as a toddler. So overall by my experience yes I would say by 5/6 months you generally know what you have.

TheBirdintheCave · 05/04/2023 14:55

Sleeping is my child's super power 😂I doubt we'll have another child like this if/when we have a second but it's nice to dream.

He slept through from 12 weeks and has done his 12 hours a night ever since plus two hour naps.

BigBunkers · 05/04/2023 14:59

Yep my first was like this. At 8 they are still a good sleeper.
They are an early riser though but I can live with that as they are early to bed

Mangogogogo · 05/04/2023 15:02

my son never slept from day dot! So when my daughter came along and slept really well I was so happy. Until about 6 months and she finally slept through again about 5 year old. It was worse than my son, up every few hours! I wish she hadn’t got my hopes up lol!

I do think in your situation you do need to be realistic about the affects of the separation

caringcarer · 05/04/2023 15:11

All my 3 children have been good sleepers. I put them to bed as babies at 7 then last feed at 10.30pm then after about 5 or 6 weeks they slept through the night until 6 am. By 1 year all went to bed in their own cot and slept from about 7 pm until 7am. I've never done any co sleeping. They just went to bed and slept. I made it dark with blackout blinds. If they woke and I had to change a nappy in the night for the first 5-6 weeks I did so in semi darkness so as not to stimulate the baby. I was just lucky I guess. I tried to give them fresh air every day and exercise to tire them out.

Disneyblueeyes · 05/04/2023 15:13

Our 3.5 year old has slept through from about 2 weeks old.

I rarely tell people this 😜

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 05/04/2023 15:14

My son was a terrible sleeper from birth. He didn't sleep through until he turned 2. Any time he was teething was an absolute nightmare just wanted boob all night.
I was on and off with his Dad and honestly it's so much easier without him here I feel alot less tired just purely on that basis!! Good luck on the separation, hope it goes hassle free.

whoruntheworldgirls · 05/04/2023 15:16

Mines always been a great sleeper, dropped a night feed at 2 months old, by 5 months slept 7-7, now aged 6 sleeps 7:45-7. There is hope OP :-) good luck with everything.

Sceptre86 · 05/04/2023 15:17

Without a crystal ball it's really hard to say! Only my dd2 started sleeping through at 3 months, my bigger two just didn't. She is 19 months now and still sleeps through. Don't get me wrong we've had several wake ups a night when she had hand foot and mouth as well as when her teething has been terrible but in general it's been manageable.
Hopefully your little one will be the same but if not what is your support system looking like? Will your ds be having overnights with his dad so you get a break or do you have any family nearby who could take him during the day or are you using or going to use childcare? Try not to fret about something that hasn't happened yet. I appreciate it's easier said than done though.

IsGoodIsDon · 05/04/2023 15:18

My last baby was just like you’ve described. Generally a good sleeper from about 6 weeks she went from a feed at 10-11pm and slept till 5-6ish and then fed again and slept till 9am or so. She only got better and then slept from 7pm til 7am from about 4months old. Even now at 6yrs she is a great sleeper and I have to drag her out of bed on the morning, I’m not looking forward to the teenage years if she’s like this now!
That said there is always the interruptions to this with illness and teething or anything else. But we always just settled back again

Keeween · 05/04/2023 15:19

Sorry to hear of your troubles, I hope you’re coping as well as can be expected.
Personally I think there’s something in it. My boy slept through from very early (under three months anyway, possibly more like two, I forget) and did well until 4/5 months. He had a blip here for maybe 2 months where he’d wake once, feed and back to sleep immediately then went back to sleeping 6/6:30-8 no worries and has done ever since. He’s now 18 months.

FlounderingFruitcake · 05/04/2023 15:33

My first was perfect sleep wise, 12 hours a night from 8 weeks old. Never disrupted by illness or jet lag. She’s now 6 so the baby years are long gone. Her younger brother was a little more inconsistent but generally it got better as he got older, replacing his own dummy at 6.5 months was a big game changer! I’d be hopeful it can’t get any worse for you, feeding at 11 then resettling at 5 must be really tough going. I don’t think there’s anything’s in that because he’s a poor sleeper now that he’s going to be forever? Surely they all get there eventually. I don’t think you need to worry.

ACynicalDad · 05/04/2023 15:45

Both of ours have been great sleepers, I think one started sleeping through at about 5 months and the other at about 2. We might get woken every 3 or 4 months by one of them. We were lying in at weekends by the time the oldest was 4 and could turn on the TV. You may be lucky, it feels terrible to say, and you can't jump on threads about awful sleepers without feeling a total p* but lots of children sleep well quickly.

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 05/04/2023 15:48

I had one DS who slept 6 hours straight at night from a matter of days old, and 8 hours a night religiously from 8 weeks ish. At 14 he’ll still sleep round the clock. My other three were complete no sleep demons, DD2 is still a bit of a nightmare at 8.

CurlewKate · 05/04/2023 16:06

I had a book by Libby Purves when mine were little-she said we should think of babies like weather. You could have a horrible day, but that didn't mean the next day was going to be horrible too. And vice versa. I found it a very helpful mindset!

MumofSpud · 05/04/2023 17:57

DD was a great sleeper as a baby - textbook stuff (now as a teen is also a great sleeper which is problematic at getting up in time for anything!)
Good Luck!

yentirb · 05/04/2023 18:18

Mine started off amazing and then hit 3 months. Now, at almost 2 he's still not sleeping through