to raise a concern about childcare arrangements

[TabithaTwitchett]

My in-laws wanted/offered to look after DD one day a week, which was and still is much appreciated. However since they live an hours drive away they have been picking her up and then taking her back rather than stay in our house. I have not been comfortable with dd being on the road for 2 hours every week at rush hour for no apparent reason. I have said nothing for months but when dh raised it last week there was a big deal made of it and they are now in a huff with me. I am grateful for help but would rather have her in nursery 2 minutes walk away than travel two hours. They had previously indicated they would watch her at our house but now think it is too long a day. Can I have some objective advice?

I disagree. My PIL look after my son 2 days a week and they just do normal things with him. They do housework, gardening, shopping, trips out. In fact, they do all the things I would do if a SAHM. Of course, they do worthy, stimulating activities but, hey, children of my son's age sometimes just want to play uninterrupted. I would much rather him be in a home environment than in a nursery. He gets plenty of interaction with other children at toddlers, with his childminder and with his little friends.

You really ought to tell them of your concerns about the rush hour. It must also be costing them a fortune!

I think the fact you are not happy about several issues perhaps you should put your dd in a nursery, I think if you dont it will lead to bad feeling in the not to distant future, how ever you do it there will probably be some bad feeling

I can understand in a way why they want to go back to their own place, no matter what someone else says to do in their home you never feel as comfortable. In their house they can get things done around your dd and also they know the area because they live there, they can show off their lovely grandaughter to their friends.

I can see your point about your dd being in a car for two hours a day, at that age mine tended to sleep whenever we were more than 15 minutes in the car not always convient.

Would it be possible to have your dd in nursery for half a day and for them to pick her up and spend the other half day in your house? Not so long a day for them, only 1 journey at rush hour traffic and your dd still gets to see grandparents.

trockodile - I had never even thought of that! Thanks, I will mention it to DH.

No way, they should look after her at your house, definitly. They could even do a bit of housework for you, hee hee. Babes are much mre comfortable in their own homes, sounds very unfair on your little one.

Hang on, if you are unhappy about the distance your dd would be travelling, then how is that going to be different if you all go down at the weekend? It would still mean travelling the same distance once a week for your dd.

Is it the rush hour you worry about? But motorways can be very full at weekends.

Perhaps trockodile's suggestion is the best- just be aware that your dd will be tired after nursery, so may cope less well with the travelling.

Personally I wouldn't fancy spending a day a week sitting around in somebody else's house, however well equipped, so I can see the grandparents' point of view.