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Original poster

Does anybody prefer how they look now they're older?

105 replies

Gooooo · 05/04/2023 06:12

According to media/society everybody in their 20s is effortlessly beautiful and walks around with an undeniable glow, men constantly staring at them wherever they go.
I really dislike how only youth is supposed to equate to beauty and how society worships it so much.
I was looking at pictures of myself in my 20s this morning and I look like a football, my face is unbelievably round. You don't notice it until you look back at old pictures, now in my 30s my face has lost this subcutaneous fat and it looks a lot slimmer. I also had very severe chin acne in my 20s which has now cleared, I've had braces too.
Is anyone else feeling that they look better with age as opposed to the opposite?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gooooo · 05/04/2023 10:29

It really doesn't seem to be the case that everyone in their 40s+ is walking round in a state of depression, hating the way they look, overweight and miserable and wishing they could look 20 again. Most don't I imagine.

OP posts:
PrincessHoneysuckle · 05/04/2023 10:30

I'm 43 and I look better than I did at 20 facially but bodywise no.I looked my vest around 32.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 05/04/2023 10:31

best

Hibye23289 · 05/04/2023 10:36

I have been known as good looking, been told it most of my twenties, I was ugly in my early teens or so I thought I had zero confidence then started to make effort and got attention and now i am in my early 30s I think I am still attractive but I have much more confidence and feel more sexy and that I am in my prime. I feel like I am making the most of my looks before I start getting wrinkly and past it which I can feel heading my way, then I'll cry. I feel like my confidence comes from how I look which is wrong I know so I can get away with being cheeky and banter but when the looks fade then I'll cry and the funs over 😩 so shallow i know 😂

TheHoover · 05/04/2023 10:41

I like my face and hair better now but my body is disgusting compared to when I was younger.

davegrohll · 05/04/2023 10:41

Well, my dress sense has got better and now I don't do awful thick winged eyeliner and birds nest hair 😆 less is more I've realised as I've gone into my thirties

davegrohll · 05/04/2023 10:41

But yes, I would very much like my younger pre children body back !

MoonOverBroadway · 05/04/2023 10:42

I prefer how I look in my mid forties to how I looked in late 20s-mid 30s!

I was in full on Mum mode then - a bit overweight, not very stylish, a bit lost with presenting myself as I basically had other things to be getting on with!

At 46, I’m a stone lighter, have a much better sense of style, more time and a bit more money to look after myself. I’m much happier in my own skin, although obviously I ‘look older’. I think I look better.

I was bloody gorgeous before I had kids at 27, though Grin. I didn’t realise how gorgeous. Youth is wasted on the young!

davegrohll · 05/04/2023 10:43

Yorkyyorkyork · 05/04/2023 10:16

I love how I look now in late 30s

I just can't get my hair right.

Naturally dark hair doesn't suit my skin. Light brown hair makes me invisible. Blonde hair turns brassy looks awful against my black eyebrows.
Sandy blonde hair is difficult to keep up with and ruins my hair!

I wish my dark glossy hair suited my skin tone. But it makes my skin tone look grey and unwell. I always get asked if I'm OK.

Try a balayage !

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/04/2023 10:45

No. Looking back , I wish I’d realised then how lovely I was 😁 what I do feel now is much more comfortable in my skin.

QueefQueen80s · 05/04/2023 10:51

@mybeautifuloak They just look like kids to me, like how kids are beautiful.
It's the men perving over it that's grim. It started for me at 12.. really lost my innocent view of the world then.

Jessica356 · 05/04/2023 10:59

I have always been average looking but at nearly 40 I don’t think I have changed much apart from my weight. I am heavier than I was in my early 20s by over a stone.

Sagittariusrising · 05/04/2023 10:59

I was supermodel slim in teens and 20s with almost completely flat chest. I had undiagnosed PCOS so would break out in acne every now and again. Women and gay men loved my figure but most men told me I'd look better with curves. 30s was my peak time in terms of men (and sex 😀) when I was a size 12 and just a little bit 'rounder'. PCOS sorted and the pill cleared my skin up too.

My mum was very glamorous and so I grew up with good advice about style and skincare and she was very insistent I took care of my skin and had a good skincare routine. I've always done some form of exercise too.

Always had oily skin and have a round face so have aged OK with only a few lines. I work out and eat well so at 54 I look pretty good. I don't want to tweak and want to age naturally and be at peace with how I look. Happy to go out make up free if I want to but make an effort for work and social occasions. I've always loved clothes and looking the best I can. Had an easy menopause (luckily) and my hair and skin are now back to normal.

I still get male attention but couldn't care less about having a relationship again so I just want to stay fit and well for me now. I always try and compliment other women if I think they look good and avoid comparing myself to others as "comparison is the thief of joy". I don't envy young women these days as I think there is a lot more pressure with social media/porn to live up to ridiculous ideals of womanhood.

ChickenMacaroni · 05/04/2023 11:19

I am only 34 but already only look good "for saying..."

For saying my clothes are from the supermarket / 10 years old
For saying I get 6 hours sleep a night
For saying I don't wear make up
For saying I've got 4 kids

When I was 20 I looked good full stop. That said, I love my face and it's been my constant friend for 34 years and counting. I am very smiley - very expressive full stop - so will be wrinkly. But I look like me, and I'm lovely!

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 05/04/2023 13:52

I look back at these stunning photos of myself and just see how sad and insecure I was. Now I see these slightly dodgy photos of me looking knackered chasing after my kids and I don't focus in on what I look like, I see how happy we were in the moment.

@MoltenLasagne this!!!!!

Piglet89 · 05/04/2023 14:11

@Backstreets

a style I can only describe as “formal goth”.

LOL!

I am nearly 42 OP and look better now than when I was younger because age has thinned my face and hollowed out cheekbones I never knew I had. I’m helped by thick hair which is cut shorter - the greys don’t look too bad, I think.

maybe everyone else thinks I look a fucking state, though.

maddy68 · 05/04/2023 14:41

Apart from the fact I'm chunky I am much more attractive now

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/04/2023 14:45

I’m not sure I look better in my 70s than I did when I was younger. I’m not sure I care. Certainly I don’t care enough to do anything about it

bigbluehamster · 05/04/2023 15:21

Same, I was so puffy and rounded in my 20s. I've somehow got slimmer in my 30s and I think I look much better now.

QueefQueen80s · 05/04/2023 15:36

bigbluehamster · 05/04/2023 15:21

Same, I was so puffy and rounded in my 20s. I've somehow got slimmer in my 30s and I think I look much better now.

Same, yet women are out there pumping them with fillers to get the rounded swollen look which then makes the eyes disappear🤯

MegTilleyslipstick · 05/04/2023 16:22

I think I was more beautiful once I hit my early 30s and my face thinned out. I am 49 now and people tell me I am beautiful far more than when I was in my teens and twenties. I think it is partly a cultural shift, it was much less acceptable to make a fuss over one's looks or other people's prior to the 2000s. But I feel more attractive now in my 40s than I ever did before. I do keep myself up, highlights, exercise, make up and a bit of Botox. I think a lot of it comes down to how you present yourself. The thing that really makes me sad though is I look at photos of me when I was slimmer and had a pre-pregnancy stomach and I look amazing yet I distinctly recall thinking I looked horribly fat! I wish I had been able to see myself more objectively then and enjoyed my body more.

Notatmine · 05/04/2023 16:30

Gooooo · 05/04/2023 06:32

That's a good way of seeing it as a bit of a rollercoaster rather than linear. We're sold the idea that upto around 30 you'll be at your best, then it'll be a gradual decline.

Who sold you that idea? Is that what young women think now? I never thought that! It does appear that young women are more obsessed with anti ageing creams and potions that no women I knew used at all in their 20s. ( I am 50)

To answer your question, I really liked how I looked at 38/39.

Most women (though not all) start to age from mid to later 40s. Your face actually changes then, so much that you can start when you look in the mirror and think ' that's not my face!'. Then life is a process of learning to adjust to a constantly changing face.

GarlicGrace · 05/04/2023 20:03

But what they are actually "missing" is being leered at by blokes who enjoy making them feel like prey

I got over that "loss" in about four minutes.

It's a little bit harder to get over not being served until you loudly demand it and/or physically shove later arrivals out of the way, social groups animatedly talking around you without even acknowledging your presence, and the massive increase in frequency of "Oops, sorry, didn't see you there!"

I've extended my black-centred wardrobe to lots of VERY bright colours and, while I was never the retiring type, have got louder and bolshier. It helps but, presumably, I'm going to get smaller and slower so even less noticeable. The online derision of older women really does verge on hatred, and that's going to seep into real life.

I might start wearing a hat pin 😂

CheersForThatEh · 05/04/2023 20:23

The way the fat sits on your face in your 20s ups your pretty point, even if you are styleless and plain. I'm prettier now than i was 10 years ago but I've lost the glow of youth.

HamBone · 05/04/2023 20:31

I was a waif in my 20’s which was fashionable then, but I think I actually look better now I’m a couple of sizes bigger, a healthy weight but with some hips.

My hair is drier and less shiny than it was, which is annoying. Overall I’m not bad for 48 so I’m not complaining too much. Just don’t mention abs, nothing in that area has been the same since having large babies. 😂