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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Still fuming

109 replies

GayforMoleman · 04/04/2023 01:55

Took 11 year old DD to a local park today with DSis and DN (3). Drunk teenagers everywhere. Literally about 30-40 of them. Because they were gathering in a certain area, poor DN couldn't get near it or understand why. One, about 14, with her bum literally hanging out of her shorts decided to stop by me and DD and shout "SUCK MY DICK EMO!" at us. DD visibly shocked and I couldn’t say a fucking word for fear of us both being jumped by the rest of them. It actually sickens me that kids around here (nearby Liverpool) get away with murder. Sometimes actual attempted, they wont blink before they'll go for a grown man with a knife. You cant say a thing because they're all Billy big bollocks in gangs, the lads wearing balaclavas. Police wont do a thing.
AIBU in thinking this is no way to live?!

OP posts:
DivaDarling · 05/04/2023 01:24

I sympathise with you. It is absolutely appalling how these gangs of louts have been allowed to take over areas without any consequences, making life horrible for everyone else.

I've wryly laughed at posters who have implied it is somehow your fault for going into the park when you saw them there.

That is the problem in a nutshell-it's your fault because you put yourself in their way. What a piss poor attitude-we should all back away and let the fuckers take over the neighbourhood.

Sadly, though when some parents, schools and the police fail to enforce punishment and consequences (dirty words to some). Totally laughable that some posters think they are anti social threatening fuckers because not enough money is spent on ping pong tables.

They were in a park, for fucks sake-that's a resource right there- and do they use it for games-no they use it to intimidate. The barbarians are through the gate and there is nothing that can be done and their dominion-and in many areas it is dominion-is aided and abetted by those who think to say boo to them is a mortal sin.

That includes the police who, if they do attend an incident such as the one you've described-will simply have a chat to them, instead of putting a few of them in the back of a police van and from there, into the youth court.

Maybe it will change in 50 years, when the pendulum finally swings back.

You've had an awful experience-many parks are no go areas because of these shits and you are right to be still fuming.

Ursualesther · 05/04/2023 06:08

What part of a playground does an 11 year old love so much that you felt you had to go to it?!

Ursualesther · 05/04/2023 06:11

Ah I see so it was your niece

nut neither you nor your sister saw fit to stand up to a 3 year old and say…. “Oh dear not nice people crowding out the playground” let’s go to insert another park or shop where you could pick them up a little treat or just home

GoodChat · 05/04/2023 06:32

@Greenshake being verbally assaulted by an intimidating group of drunken teenagers is absolutely worth a 999 call if you're genuinely fearful.

Phoebo · 05/04/2023 06:38

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/04/2023 04:54

Why on earth won't the police come out to deal with this sort of thing? If they let kids behave how they want it just leads to even more problems.

Agree. Sounds horrible OP, I'd be fuming too

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 05/04/2023 06:41

Agree with phone 999. Violent, threatening behaviour is a crime and they will all be smoking weed and getting up to all kinds, it's definitely worth the police going out to.
I tore a strip off some teenagers once for smashing a bottle in a local park. Did help I had a very large and scary dog with me.
I've got a toddler now and I take him quite a lot of parks around North Liverpool. Haven't come across any anti social behaviour yet thank God but il be the first to report it once I do once I'm safely away.

cushioncovers · 05/04/2023 06:49

I understand your anger op. Sadly all I can say is avoid those parks. Unless they are going to be patrolled by a strong presence that could handle a large group of drunk bored slightly volatile individuals then parks will often be like this during the school holidays. I'm 52 and it wasn't a lot different in my day.

PinkSyCo · 05/04/2023 06:58

Sounds awful. You might get the odd big group of lairy teenagers in play parks where I live but they genuinely move off the swings etc if they see a little child running towards them. I’d have wanted to slap say something to that girl that you encountered but I understand that you are in a much more vulnerable position when you have your DCs with you. I would report it if it happens again OP. It’s not fair that these kids are getting away with intimidating other park users.

Ursualesther · 05/04/2023 07:20

Threads like this really do demonstrate regional variations.

I live in south east. A large town with a number of very large schools and grammar schools - and whilst there are minor “yoof” issues…. Absolutely nothing like the OP has described. Nor in previous SE town I lived in.

nomoremerlot · 05/04/2023 07:27

SpookyBlackCat · 04/04/2023 05:54

Not the point of the thread but does anyone else wonder what the Tories DID actually spend money on, not on roads or healthcare or rubbish collection or schools or police or fire services or mental health care or social services. I can’t think of a single thing we can point to and be proud of these days.

Personal expenses

Feelinglow27 · 05/04/2023 07:37

Regional differences....I live in Liverpool and regularly take my 8 year old to loads of different parks as we are blessed with so many. Never ever seen anything like this. Would be interested to know the specific area rather than this being painted as a "regional" thing. I'm guessing small town nearby Liverpool?

Greenshake · 05/04/2023 07:37

GoodChat · 05/04/2023 06:32

@Greenshake being verbally assaulted by an intimidating group of drunken teenagers is absolutely worth a 999 call if you're genuinely fearful.

I am sure I will get piled on for this, but I don’t think a teenager shouting “suck my dick” or whatever it was warrants a 999 call.

GlassBunion · 05/04/2023 07:40

I'm another in a large SE town.

Swan and goose kicking has become a new pastime among the stupid teenagers as is hanging out in large groups with boom boxes.

They are intimidating.

Police are regularly called but nothing much happens to stop it.

londonrach · 05/04/2023 07:46

Why you put your child and dn in this situation...turn back and go to another park when you saw them

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 05/04/2023 07:51

Posters who are saying the OP should have left the park are completely missing the point.

This is about Why We Can't Have Nice Things.

Flymetothetoon · 05/04/2023 07:53

londonrach · 05/04/2023 07:46

Why you put your child and dn in this situation...turn back and go to another park when you saw them

Why you victim blaming?

saltwater1985 · 05/04/2023 08:00

Ursualesther · 05/04/2023 07:20

Threads like this really do demonstrate regional variations.

I live in south east. A large town with a number of very large schools and grammar schools - and whilst there are minor “yoof” issues…. Absolutely nothing like the OP has described. Nor in previous SE town I lived in.

I live in a large town in Yorkshire and have NEVER come across anything like this.

We have teens hanging out in parks but they are always friendly to young DC and even chat/play with them sometimes.

The antisocial behaviour is the druggies in the town centre usually, but again that's not usually directed at the public, it's some beef they have with each other.

So shove your 'South Eastern Snobbery' up your SE arse. Grin

bluebottle23 · 05/04/2023 08:12

Please write to your MP. If you feel strongly keep writing until you get a proper response that they will take action. I have been in similar situation where some kids said horrendous threatening things, but I had to just walk away out of fear of them attacking me or my toddler. I live in a very affluent town - this stuff is happening everywhere and yes, the Tory government are to blame. It doesn't directly affect them so they don't care

palelavender · 05/04/2023 08:34

Even people who could rend those teenagers from limb to limb (yes, an exciting thought) advise their students to avoid trouble. The first rule is not to put yourself in that situation and the second is to get our of that situation as fast as you can which may include sprinting to safety and trying to do that while carrying small stupid children. Small stupid children should never be allowed to put you in danger to indulge their whims.

Georgieporgie29 · 05/04/2023 08:45

I have to say that my experience is similar to the op’s, I live in a small town and yes you always get the odd kid trying their luck but usually you know their mum or a relative and they soon shut up. However, these kids now seem to hang around in bigger crowds and last time we walked through the park I couldn’t believe the audacity of the young boys (looked about 11/12) shouting and swearing at me and my husband as we walked past, we just carried on walking but imagine being alone or elderly and being faced with that. I have never known it like this before and there is now apparently a dispersal order in the area to break these gangs of kids up. It’s just crazy as far as I’m concerned and worrying where it will end.

oh and just to add we have a youth club and local clubs that are easily accessible, however, they’re not interested.

Favouritefruits · 05/04/2023 08:46

I’m not really a confident person but I’d have said something. I’m not brave but most kids understand and want to be kind to little ones. You can’t ask them to go because they have as much right to be there as you but a simple ‘can the little one just have a quick go on the swing’ and I bet they’d have moved.

GoodChat · 05/04/2023 09:03

@Greenshake it's not the one action that's the problem, is it. It's the whole situation compounded.

Ursualesther · 05/04/2023 09:06

Favouritefruits · 05/04/2023 08:46

I’m not really a confident person but I’d have said something. I’m not brave but most kids understand and want to be kind to little ones. You can’t ask them to go because they have as much right to be there as you but a simple ‘can the little one just have a quick go on the swing’ and I bet they’d have moved.

What I would say and do alone is very different to what I would say when I have my child and my toddler niece with me

Ohthebanality · 05/04/2023 09:07

I live in a small town near Liverpool too, it's not a nice place. But I remember something similar happening when I took my older son, who's now 27 to our local park. So I don't think this is necessarily new. Smoking weed in public places is now fine though. There are never any police on foot anymore either.

Comii9 · 05/04/2023 09:08

GayforMoleman · 04/04/2023 02:21

We didn’t spot them until we were In. Next closest park is a well known no go.
The police won't even come out for assaults.

You must know your own local parks. I wouldn't of even gone nor would I go back.

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