Not invited to another family wedding?

[Feelingleftoutagain]

I admit that until the death of my mother, my siblings and myself weren't close, we all worked at jobs with long hours and mix in different social groups. Before my mother died a nephew got married I wasn't invited and the wedding was kept hidden from me and I only found out about it around 2 weeks before the event when my mum told me about it and told me that no one wanted me there, I was very upset as everyother family member was invited, I even have a step sibling and they were invited. My husband said not to get upset and not to say anything about not being invited, as it was their day so I kept quiet. After my mum's death I got close to my siblings and went on days out etc, I did say about how upset I was at being ignored and promises were made it wouldn't happen again. Now my other nephew is getting married and yet again am not invited! Every other family member has been invited whilst my sibling is hiding from me won't talk etc my hubby says I should just accept that my siblings are not ever go to treat me well I've even asked in a sibling chat if I had done something to upset them but they so I haven't how would uou feel if this was uou? Am totally perplexed by the whole family situation

You need to have the conversation with them. There is clearly something causing it. You may also need to accept that you may never be close to them.

you can’t compel them to invite you,nor should you. Have some composure song make a deal out of this. Be calm.composed and just don’t go there. They arent going to have a change of heart and beg for your contrition.

Are you close with them?

I felt as though we were close until this we all texted or called nearly everyday

I'm afraid that if this is the second time it's happened, I would be having nothing further to do with them, and would just get on and enjoy life with my own family and friends, as they clearly don't value you. What a horrible way to treat your family, I'm SO sorry that this has happened to you OP.

You said you’re close to your siblings now, but are you close to your nephew?

You might be getting closer to your siblings, but what about your actual nephews?

i wouldn’t knock my self out,just read the vibe. They don’t want you. You’re literally uninvited. So clearly there is a gripe that they’re enacting by not inviting you. They’re being fake with all the superficial contacts and txts when it comes to it,they don’t want you. That’s their prerogative of course, now yiu just need to not hang bout hoping they’ll changer their mind, explain or you can schmooze your way back in. Really, do yourself a favour don’t pursue them,it’s humiliating

Is it your nephew's wedding, or a siblings wedding?

Your siblings can't control who your nephew invites so I'm not sure why you're upset with them. Is it possible your nephews just don't know you well enough to invite you, but know your siblings more?

We don't know you OP, or the situation. Something must have happened, whether you realise or not. I genuinely think, usually, there is no smoke without fire. Being busy doesn't usually mean you aren't close to family. We're all busy. I suspect there may be more to this than you either realise or you're willing to accept.

The thing is, none of your siblings are getting married. How much of a relationship do you have with either of the engaged couple? How much time did you spend with your nephew growing up?

It might be that your sibling is embarrassed, but that your nephew just isn't that bothered about having you at his wedding. It might not be your sibling's decision,

Thanks for your thoughts, I spent a lot of time with my nephews but am not going to let this upset me, I've asked they say there is no issues so am just going to move on with my life

Do you have a relationship with the nephew?

Your siblings aren't in charge of who their children invite, they're adults in their own right!

Did you make much effort with these nephews when they were growing up?

I didn't invite a few cousins/uncles to my wedding. One of them I only saw once a year, some cousins I only ever saw at weddings and funerals.

And how big are the weddings?

Big wedding

Perhaps somebody has spread a false rumour about you that others have all bought into. Family (and work colleagues) can be very skilled at this, it can go on for years and you never be any the wiser. Not sure how you will get to the bottom of this because ranks may be closed very quickly. I too would be curious to know why but your OH makes a very good point.

Do you see/speak to the nephews now they're adults?

Yes I do still speak to them as grown ups however since invites were sent out my texts go unanswered I am not to the point where life to too short for this and will just move on

Stop speaking to them and cut them off. They are toxic and unpleasant to you. Don’t keep putting yourself out there for rejection.

*now

it’s unfortunate how it’s worked out but dust yourself down and move on

I put my food down and refused to invite two relatives to my wedding.

One has a drink problem and is reliably embarrassing after 6pm. The other is an utter cow who has regularly said deeply unkind things before doing the whole ‘only joking tinkly laugh’ thing. I didn’t want to risk hearing her shit on my wedding day.

It might well be that your family are awful. Or it might be something like the above (I suspect that both these people think they’re totally fine).

That would be the end for me. I’d go LC with them. Is this nephew the brother of the other nephew?

Do you text or call these two relatives nearly everyday?

This

I do wonder what their side of the story is? My own sister is currently feeling sorry for her self due to similar but she forgets how awful and selfish she is