Not invited to another family wedding?

[Feelingleftoutagain]

I admit that until the death of my mother, my siblings and myself weren't close, we all worked at jobs with long hours and mix in different social groups. Before my mother died a nephew got married I wasn't invited and the wedding was kept hidden from me and I only found out about it around 2 weeks before the event when my mum told me about it and told me that no one wanted me there, I was very upset as everyother family member was invited, I even have a step sibling and they were invited. My husband said not to get upset and not to say anything about not being invited, as it was their day so I kept quiet. After my mum's death I got close to my siblings and went on days out etc, I did say about how upset I was at being ignored and promises were made it wouldn't happen again. Now my other nephew is getting married and yet again am not invited! Every other family member has been invited whilst my sibling is hiding from me won't talk etc my hubby says I should just accept that my siblings are not ever go to treat me well I've even asked in a sibling chat if I had done something to upset them but they so I haven't how would uou feel if this was uou? Am totally perplexed by the whole family situation

I an neither a drinker or one to spread lies about people! I am a quiet type whilst they are all a bit louder then me and it wasme always calling and texting they would call and text me too

Could it be that they have to have someone to exclude/pick on and as you are quieter you are it?

I find this in friendship groups sometimes, one person takes against another and everyone else goes along with it.

You know your siblings better than any posters here. Do you think they are lying?

If you don’t think they are, could it possibly be your DH that they don’t want there so aren’t inviting you?

If they’re saying it is nothing you have done, perhaps it could be something your DH has.

But it's not your siblings getting married.... it's their children. If you haven't been close to your siblings then by default you haven't been close to your nephews.

Did you send birthday and Christmas cards? Did you see your nephews on birthdays, Christmas, Easter? How were you involved in their lives when they were growing up? Did you take them on outings? Did you babysit? Did you pick them up from school when a sibling had an emergency?

Your nephews have partners who are also involved in the invite list. Every single person at a wedding comes with a cost per head. Every single venue comes with a maximum number.
If you don't have a relationship with your nephews why would they bump someone else off the list for you?

All you can do is, if you want a relationship with your family - do better staying connected. Be involved in their children's lives and then you'll get the invite to celebrate life's milestone.

Change your relationship with your nephews now and you might get an invite to a 1st birthday party or a christening somewhere down the line.

I appreciate you feel snubbed but I think the reality is more likely your nephews just don't really know you.

It's usually about numbers and who people see less or more of I think. Having said that my dsis was subtlety excluded from cousins weddings due to her DH being aggressive when drunk. Is your dp well liked would you say? It might not be about you.

Sorry I missed some other info you provided.

You say you do have a relationship with your nephews - but maybe you need to assess that relationship.

I have Aunties and Uncles I didn't invite to my wedding - I know them but they just weren't that present in my life growing up. They weren't that close to my Mum and Dad. There's no big backstory and certainly no malice. I just had a cost per head and a maximum number and I filled that with people who were a big part of my life, as did DH.

I'm sorry to hear about your difficult family situation. It's understandable to feel hurt and confused about not being invited to important family events, especially when it seems that every other family member is included.

It's good that you've tried to talk to your siblings about how you feel, but it sounds like they're not being very open or responsive. It's possible that there are underlying issues or dynamics within the family that you're not aware of, or that there may be some unresolved conflict or resentment from the past.

While it's important to try to maintain positive relationships with family members, it's also important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health. If your siblings are consistently treating you poorly and not including you in important family events, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Ultimately, you can't control how your siblings treat you, but you can control how you respond to their behavior. It's up to you to decide whether you want to continue trying to mend your relationships with your siblings or if it's best to focus on building strong relationships with other people in your life who treat you with kindness and respect.