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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Offered council property in terrible area

307 replies

ShouldITakeIt · 03/04/2023 20:27

Single parent of DS who is 2. Currently living with my mum but have been on the council waiting list since he was born. Was offered a flat before but turned it down due to it being in a rough road and have been offered another one this week which is in an even worse area! The flat itself is actually really nice but the estate it is on used to have a really bad reputation and is a deprived area. It was fairly quiet when I visited but pretty run down looking and I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about :( the problem I have is that if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list. Private renting isn't an option for me and I'm currently living in my mum's lounge. Would you take the flat? Does anyone have any experience of living in an undesirable area? Help!!! :(

OP posts:

Pinkdelight3 · 04/04/2023 07:56

Highlandflingbling · 03/04/2023 23:42

pinkdelight · Today 23:32
that must be one of the most disgusting comments I have read on mn I hope you never end up in that situation yourself. Your kids must be proud.

I was making a point about outdated reputations and not making snap judgements about who is undesirable but if you wanna misunderstand me, fair enough.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 04/04/2023 08:00

I wouldn’t take it.

TookTheBook · 04/04/2023 08:02

In my area it would be a miracle to be offered a council place within 2-3 years like you have. Many wait most of their children's lives. Just take it! It will be your own little space.

Paperexcelandpens · 04/04/2023 08:02

user1492757084 · 04/04/2023 07:54

Take it and get yourself a sweet dog.

In a top floor flat?

TolkiensFallow · 04/04/2023 08:08

You need to take it op. Doesn’t have to be forever but you are a mum and you need to provide a home for your child.

Veryfaraway · 04/04/2023 08:14

We just moved from an "undesirable area", to be closer to family. It had drug dealing and all the rest of it. But our building was OK, some neighbours were amazing and we're still in touch. Most people there are just trying to make a go of things like everyone else. There were loads of little groups trying to make things better.
I'd worry that if you turn down another property that you'd be removed from the list.

dimpleton · 04/04/2023 08:18

Honestly I'd take it. All areas have "undesirables" and tbh you've made up your mind about people just by looking at them walking down the street.

EmmaEmerald · 04/04/2023 08:20

What's a rough area?
my area is rough, what can you do? It wasn't when I moved in.

the nice suburb down the road has a higher rate of car theft and burglary, precisely because it's nice.

dealers are everywhere now.

MaggieThatchersFridge · 04/04/2023 08:23

I’d take it and start looking for swaps.
I’d also start planning to be out of there by the time my son was old enough to be hanging out outside on his own. That gives you a secure base with low rent for the next 8-10 years. In that time you can retrain, get a decent job and improve your income enough to be able to move elsewhere.

Porkandbeans1 · 04/04/2023 08:29

About 20 years ago I was I a similar position and took on a little 2 bed council house on a massive and rough estate. It wasn't perfect, there were people drug dealing outside and it could be noisy. But it was perfect whilst DC was small. There were some really lovely and supportive people who lived there.

I spent a lot of time doing my house up. Eventually I exchanged with someone who needed to be closer to family. I moved to a nicer area but the house was disgusting and everything needed replacing. It was a slog but worth it for the better schools in the area. After a few years I met DH and my business took off, we bought a house in a new area for work.

Sorry I know this is a load of rambling but basically take the flat. It might not be where you want to be but it's a start. It doesn't have to be forever but you can improve your situation.

Untitledsquatboulder · 04/04/2023 08:30

What's weird is that you think you have a choice. How does your mum feel about having you camped in her living room til - well, what? You win the lottery? Prince Charming shows up and sweeps you away? You land that 60k job?

It sounds like you are being offered a home for you and your child and a chance at building an independent life. What are you waiting for?

userfred · 04/04/2023 08:31

What you could do op is take the flat but move in slowly. Get it looking nice and all your stuff in and put away. Then don't stay there every night, build it up between the flat and your mums until you feel comfortable.

I see people advertising for swaps months before they are able too. Lots of people take a property they are offered even if it's in the wrong location just to get a council house. Give it 6 months and they will advertise their property 6 months in advance and say they can't move until whatever month but they just want to put the feelers out there.

SquidwardBound · 04/04/2023 08:35

Untitledsquatboulder · 04/04/2023 08:30

It sounds like you are being offered a home for you and your child and a chance at building an independent life. What are you waiting for?

This is what I think too. And I find it so weird that so many people are just acting as if the status quo is OK. And the OP can, or should, just elect to have that continue indefinitely.

Presumably the OP’s mum would like to have her living room back at some point.

The OP’s circumstances mean her choices are limited. If she doesn’t take this flat, what exactly is the plan for her housing herself and her child?

Tumbleweed101 · 04/04/2023 08:37

Take it. You can swap later. Being a top flat means no noise above and probably some lovely views. Quiet too from street noise.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/04/2023 08:39

I think you should take it. You’ll have your own place. You’ve got something to work your way up from.

It might not be your ideal area but you can stay living with your mum forever. It’s not going to be in the most perfect area because it’s what the council have to offer, they aren’t going to have something in the best areas.

Anycolouryoulike · 04/04/2023 08:41

Take the flat. No point asking some of the snobs on MN. There are dodgy characters every where. I lived for a time on quite a desirable street and my NDN was jailed for 8 years for drug dealing.

PinkSyCo · 04/04/2023 08:42

user1492757084 · 04/04/2023 07:54

Take it and get yourself a sweet dog.

But sweet dogs prefer to live in detached houses in the posh, undesirable-free end of town dontcha know?

SoupDragon · 04/04/2023 08:44

It's a mix of the area looking shabby and the reputation it used to have. If I google it then there are a few reports of antisocial behaviour but they're a few years old.

so, you are basing your judgement on what it used to be like rather than what it is like?

SoupDragon · 04/04/2023 08:46

Anycolouryoulike · 04/04/2023 08:41

Take the flat. No point asking some of the snobs on MN. There are dodgy characters every where. I lived for a time on quite a desirable street and my NDN was jailed for 8 years for drug dealing.

All the snobs who gave said "take it" ?

Do you want a bucket load of salt to go with that chip on your shoulder?

userfred · 04/04/2023 08:47

Untitledsquatboulder · 04/04/2023 08:30

It sounds like you are being offered a home for you and your child and a chance at building an independent life. What are you waiting for?

I think part of the issue is that the op has been living at her mums. She hasn't said why she's living at her mums and what the circumstances are surrounding that which she doesn't have too.

But I would bet living at her mums is her safe space. Moving to an area considered as rough will be quite daunting for her. If she had been living in a hostel or temporary accommodation she may have a different outlook on this property she's been offered.

I do agree with you though, im just looking at it through the op's eyes having been in the same situation (lived in an over crowded house with my mum for 18 months) myself.

Anycolouryoulike · 04/04/2023 08:47

SoupDragon · 04/04/2023 08:46

All the snobs who gave said "take it" ?

Do you want a bucket load of salt to go with that chip on your shoulder?

Show quote history

Nah. I'm been around MN long enough to know what they really think about SH.

StarmanBobby · 04/04/2023 08:48

Take it,unless you realistically think you're going to get yourself in a position to earn enough money to get private housing soon?

I grew up in on an estate that people used to call 'notorious'. My parents were young and worked and the estate was mix of people on benefits people in WC/lower income jobs.It was great, loads of kids around to play with, and the low rent gave my parents a chance to save up to move on 10 years later.

Most people in council housing are just nice, normal people getting on with their lives, the jobs, raising their families. I wouldn't go on reputation.

And if you don't like it you can always give it up later.

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 04/04/2023 08:49

I felt some empathy for the OP with her first post, the second not so much. In fact I'd go as far as to see this is just another goady thread

StarmanBobby · 04/04/2023 08:50

I live in a lovely, very expensive. MC class area now. Great reputation, all very 'naice'.

There was a drug related murder one street over, a few weeks ago. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

Zone2NorthLondon · 04/04/2023 08:50

I advise take it as local authority can discharge their responsibility to house her if she decline reasonable offer

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