Offered council property in terrible area

[ShouldITakeIt]

Single parent of DS who is 2. Currently living with my mum but have been on the council waiting list since he was born. Was offered a flat before but turned it down due to it being in a rough road and have been offered another one this week which is in an even worse area! The flat itself is actually really nice but the estate it is on used to have a really bad reputation and is a deprived area. It was fairly quiet when I visited but pretty run down looking and I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about :( the problem I have is that if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list. Private renting isn't an option for me and I'm currently living in my mum's lounge. Would you take the flat? Does anyone have any experience of living in an undesirable area? Help!!! :(

I’m in a housing association place. I moved in when my son was 8 months old.
The area is grotty but i’ve decorated the house how I like, it has good connections to get to work and most importantly I have a secure tenancy.
after the nightmare I had looking at private properties and them being tiny, run down, overpriced and them wanting a guarantor I was so relieved.

Home is what you make it and to be offered a council place is very lucky. If there’s a medical reason why you can’t take it then speak with then but otherwise take it.

OP, you have two options to secure a 'desirable' property, in a 'desirable' area.

One, either self-fund to buy or rent in an area you consider to be 'desirable'.

Two, as suggested by @EddyF , just lie and cheat your way to a property you think is worthy of you. Of course, by doing so you'd be showing some incredibly 'undesirable' traits, particularly that of being willing to fuck over someone with genuine medical issues that genuinely requires a ground floor/low rise property to satisfy your own wants/sense of entitlement.

Alternatively, as most pp's have said - take the flat, make it secure, keep your head down and work really hard towards option one above. By working really hard towards improving your circumstances you'll be an inspiration to your son.

Take it, or you'll be bottom of the list.

I moved from a bedsit on a 'nice' very tiny council estate which was in fact fucking horrible as most of the residents were over 50s and they had somehow decided amongst themselves that this was an estate for that age group, so some of them REALLY had it in for me and the other young people (all two of them) living there.

So I ended up being moved after some pretty systematic bullying by my immediate neighbour across the hallway (in her 80s, churchgoer... the list is endless I will not bore you but it was sufficient for the council to move me!)...

I was offered no choice - a 2 bed detached house on the second worst estate in town. The 1st worst estate was literally next door (across the main road a 2 minute walk away) and had in that same month had a fatal shooting, drugs related (one dealer walked into anothers house and shot him dead where he sat in front of the tv).

I was not thrilled... but I was also deeply depressed and experiencing a mental breakdown.

It wasn't all happy clappy, for sure, there were some dodgy families nearby, some pretty violent things happened on the street on occasion, I did experience a fair bit of strangers banging on the door at 3am seeing a light on and either asking for the previous resident who appeared to have dealt weed, and just asking for a light/ciggy etc.

But within weeks the stuff directly affecting me calmed down, and this wasn't a place that 'had a dodgy reptuation a few years ago', this was a place that had a current dodgy reputation!

Within months, I was friends with next door, an irascible, crabby and often foul mouthed old lady who was housebound... and also brilliantly loyal, generous and kind. Then friends with a girl a few years younger than me who moved in next door but one.

At that point we were cooking for one another, pooling funds to buy food in bulk (all horribly poor!), taking the old bat to the supermarket (or going for her which was a heck of a lot faster), decorating our homes and sorting our gardens, minding one anothers dogs..

That may not be what you're after, but the point is I expected it to be fucking awful, and actually I made some friends there I still have to this day - the man who ran the corner shop opposite is still a friend more than 10 years after I moved 150 miles away. The lass next door but one... still one of my best friends... crabby old baggage died about six months after I left and I miss her still, she was in equal measure awful and fantastic.

To a large degree, these places are what you make them!

You take it because if you are removed from the list then what do you do? You really don't have much of a choice, do you? It probably won't be the last property you will ever live in, circumstances change, you can try to swap at a later date, all sorts of things happen. And please don't lie to the housing department to try to get better, if you are found oud you will be in a worse situation. I'm a retired local authority housing officer, so I do understand how the system works.

I don't even live in the UK, but agree with this.

You've been offered, I assume, a greatly reduced rental, turned one down already and now don't fancy this one.

What are you expecting, some new build in an exclusive area?

I'm sorry but you sound really ungrateful.

Ooh bit harsh!

Don't take it. Leave it to someone who will appreciate it.

If she's able to live with her mum she wouldn't be given a council house?

She's sleeping in the living room and is therefore overcrowded. She will have been given priority as neither she,nor her child, have a bedroom and they share other facilities. That gives her priority.

you have to live somewhere
nothing is forever
the alternatives aren't viable sometimes we just have to choose the least-bad unwelcome choice from a set of options where nothing is actually a good option.

I think take it, and would on a 5 year plan to make sure it's just temporary. what actions can yoi take so that longer term you have some better options?

I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about

Curious how you are ascertaining this!

Take it, make it your new home. Shut the door and keep yourself to yourself. In 5 years from now your circumstances could well have changed - you could potentially buy the flat by then! Imagine owning it.. renting it out and becoming a property owner / landlord. Always think long term..

@WiddlinDiddlin that's a great story and the perfect example of why your neighbours can make or break a home. You could live on the best road and have the worst nutter next door.. or you could live on a council estate with some rough diamonds who will always have your back 😉

’m wondering why no one is thinking about the OP’s mum here. She’s clearly got a small house and having her adult daughter and grandchild living with her is causing overcrowding. The OP sleeps in the living room, which must cause difficulties day to day.

The ‘oh you could just stay at your mum’s forever’ response seems very unfair to everyone else in the house.

The choices are not ideal, but the OP should try to think longer term. She needs to have a plan for how she’s going to house herself. If she rejects this, then she’s going to have to do it with ideas about how she’s going to get herself in a position to rent privately.

Not true . She may have Bern offered one because it sounds like her mums is overcrowded but if she doesn't want to take it that's up to her and if she decides she wants to go back that's also up to her

Same happened to me- offered a flat in a formerly notorious area. I took it and I'm very glad I did because my neighbours are lovely, it's the quietest place I've ever lived, and its right beside a park that gets green flag awards every year.
There's some dealing but there is everywhere. A couple of people leave rubbish but we've got a litter picking group. I love it here.

True though.

Take it, you can’t afford to be fussy by the sounds of it.

Take the flat. It doesn’t have to be forever - you have choices. Plan for the future, money may be tight right now but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Find a job that pays more and if need qualifications, get some. Your DS will be off to school before you know it - start making plans now to get you both out of there.

Take it, I had to do similar and just used to lock my door after work and not answer to any unexpected callers after dark.

it was fine, neighbours were nice and I had no problems despite the area.

It doesn't sound like a "terrible" area at all. Rather you sound like you have champagne tastes on a beer budget.

This is so true. Our first home was in a fairly deprived area with a much higher crime rate than where we moved to next. We had absolutely no problems at all in the first home in a poor area. Our next home was a much nicer area… but we lived opposite an absolute witch which made living there pretty miserable.

Take it and get yourself a sweet dog.

You are being incredibly unrealistic in your expectations. Take the flat. You do not really have another option, then make the best of it.

As others have said you can’t control your neighbours, I live in a quiet road , my upstairs neighbours have upset everyone with loud music , fly tipping and fires inthe garden .