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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not all teens are awful

47 replies

Bagpuss2022 · 03/04/2023 15:42

I live in a tiny culdecac 8 houses but it has cut throughs so is quite busy, I live slap bang inbetween two primary schools so it gets busy my DD didn’t get in either not that I’m bitter .. she’s at high school now so time to let it go.
this one teen picks his little sister up every day he’s about 14/15 she’s about 8 he holds her hand he laughs with her picked her up last week when she fell over. He’s a lovely kid and I do think there are more lovely kids than bad I see them every day would love to be able to tell there parents/carers how lovely he is but isn’t it weird that I notice? I have two adult children who went to the school he goes and my DD goes there now.
my Aibu is not all teens are thugs or a nuisance they are just mini adults finding there way in the world

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 03/04/2023 15:45

Of course not all teens are awful! I've taught teens for 27 years. Most of them are ok, some of them are fantastic and some of them are truly appalling. Much like adults really.

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:47

Not all but most are

Sortyourlifeout · 03/04/2023 15:47

I love this post!

I run a youth group and my teens are genuinely amazing kids!

Definitely tell the parents when you see them! Nothing nicer than saying (and hearing) "your kids are a credit to you".

Sortyourlifeout · 03/04/2023 15:48

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:47

Not all but most are

Rubbish.

Original poster
Bagpuss2022 · 03/04/2023 15:49

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:47

Not all but most are

No they are not I have a 21 and 18 year old the 21 year old has life long limiting illnesses he still volunteers with his scout group my 18 year old coaches y1 kids this certain teen resonates with me as I was that teen

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 03/04/2023 15:50

My 17yo dd is lovely, and so are most of her friends.

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:50

I said not ALL but yes most teens are horrible

JustFrustrated · 03/04/2023 15:51

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:47

Not all but most are

Absolutely not true.

Anycolouryoulike · 03/04/2023 15:51

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:50

I said not ALL but yes most teens are horrible

I disagree.

UWhatNow · 03/04/2023 15:52

I don’t get the hate for teenagers. They suffered silently in lockdown and many have have paid the price with their mental health. They have a world of info, culture and piss taking at their fingertips so are much more informed and socially aware than my generation was. The ones who moan about them (on MN) are largely parents who, I would argue, are the problem - not their kids.

Pubesofsoberness · 03/04/2023 15:52

I think most are lovely , well the ones I meet anyway

DreamingofBrie · 03/04/2023 15:53

I teach teens. By and large, they are great fun.

Fatkittythinkitty · 03/04/2023 15:54

I agree, teens are no more awful than the rest of the population. My kids are teens and they and their friends are largely a nice bunch.

strawberryjeans · 03/04/2023 15:55

YANBU! He sounds lovely

HarlanPepper · 03/04/2023 15:56

My teenager is genuinely lovely. She was an absolute tyrant as a nipper and I remember dreading the teenage years. I needn't have spent so much time worrying (though she is only 16, I suppose there's still time)

Fairislefandango · 03/04/2023 15:57

No they are not I have a 21 and 18 year old the 21 year old has life long limiting illnesses he still volunteers with his scout group my 18 year old coaches y1 kids this certain teen resonates with me as I was that teen.

I agree that not all teens aren't awful, but I'm afraid two examples of nice teens do not prove that.

I am fortunate to teach in an unusually good school where the vast majority of students are well-behaved and nice to each other and to staff. However, I think that anyone who thinks the majority of teenagers are lovely would not need to be a fly on the wall in a normal school for very long in order to adjust their views. My dc are good kids. Every day they have to put up with the behaviour of a lot of kids who aren't.

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 15:59

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:50

I said not ALL but yes most teens are horrible

We read what you said, but most people - many of us know, and have known loads of teens, rather than one or two - would disagree with you.

I completely disagree.

Like a pp said, Most of them are ok, some of them are fantastic and some of them are truly appalling. Much like adults really.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 03/04/2023 15:59

My dd, 15, is a joy. I was a bloody awful teen and I'd resigned myself to the fact that she'd be a nightmare for a fair few years, but actually I really like her. She's kind, thoughtful (most of the time) and generous (most of the time). I know many adults who act far worse than she does

ABitOfAChange · 03/04/2023 16:03

I adore my kids’ teen friends.

I find the teen hatred in this country so odd. In my Asian culture, there are high standards expected of teens and (generally) these are met. They don’t all turn into rude delinquents when they turn 13.

I think if we respect teens, allow for some minor mood swings etc, and didn’t pigeonhole them as aggressive yobs, we would all be better off. They also care about the environment and equality etc much more than when I was 15.

Teens are largely interesting, bright and kind, sensitive people. Even when they are berating you for getting some new language/concept ‘wrong’ ;-) We should give them a break.

Fairislefandango · 03/04/2023 16:04

I don’t get the hate for teenagers. They suffered silently in lockdown and many have have paid the price with their mental health. They have a world of info, culture and piss taking at their fingertips so are much more informed and socially aware than my generation was. The ones who moan about them (on MN) are largely parents who, I would argue, are the problem - not their kids.

I have seen behaviour from many (though not the majority of) teens which makes me despair of humanity at times. Racism, misogyny, bullying, violence, cruelty to animals, cheating, deliberate sabotaging of other students' education and utter disinterest in their own. All of that on a pretty regular basis, not exclusive to the few worst kids, not exclusive to those with traumatic backgrounds and not exclusive to the Covid years.

And yes, my own dc and their friends are as you describe - funny, well-informed, socially aware etc.

ABitOfAChange · 03/04/2023 16:05

Looking back, the teen stage was my favourite age by far. Interesting and funny young people. I didn’t agree with all
their views but admired their passion.

I think the demonisation of teens in the west is a mistake.

pointythings · 03/04/2023 16:05

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 15:47

Not all but most are

Absolute nonsense. Mine are all early 20s now, but not so long ago I was neck deep in them and the majority were lovely. Assholes happen at all ages - some of the worst, most entitled people I've met in my life were elderly.

Comefromaway · 03/04/2023 16:06

My son's friend does similar with his little brother (school pick up etc)

I think young people are great. They need guidance and unconditional love and often just need someone to believe in them.

HydrangeaHo · 03/04/2023 16:06

Mine are adults now but I braced myself for teenage years and ... nothing. They were a pleasure as teens as were every one of their friends. Nothing better than a houseful of teenagers.

Original poster
Bagpuss2022 · 03/04/2023 16:07

One of my nephews is one of the “awful”ones sad to say it but he’s been let down he is autistic had to go into care age 13 as he was a danger to his sibling and mother long list of criminal charges he’s now 19 he is the most lovely kid in the right circumstances I do think this generation the Covid one has been let down they didn’t really have the early teen socialisation so finding it hard now I’m lucky I have kids on either age gap.
all of my kids friends from the 21 18 and 13 year old are great I think there’s too much stigma attached to bad teens and they are out of control that’s not the truth

OP posts: