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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Court order to take child on holiday

33 replies

Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 13:52

Has anyone had to get a it order to take child on holiday?
was it difficult? How much roughly did it cost?

and is this then permission for any future holidays or one specific one?

thanks

OP posts:
Gingergirl70 · 03/04/2023 14:17

Do you already have a child arrangement order in place? If so, this should cover who and when you can take your DC on holiday.
If not, I'm pretty sure you can't just nip into court and get an order to cover holidays alone! And yes, it costs money to go to court.
Why are you asking? What's the situation?

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/04/2023 14:24

It’s an application for a specific issue order. The issue fee is £232 (last time I checked). Assuming you are not exempt.

It can cover a specific holiday or more generally, in principle, depending on the circumstances.

You will be expected to have attempted to agree and to attend mediation (unless not appropriate) before resorting to Court.

It it’s for this summer there is no time to lose.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/04/2023 14:33

Politely, the PP who says you can’t nip into court for an order about holidays is wrong. Well the “nipping” bit is not so wrong. It does take time, unless urgent. But you can certainly go to court for singular issues. Specific issue orders are commonly used to determine things like school choice, medical treatment, vaccines, and even holidays. That said, there will be a real expectation that people have tried to sort things out. A parent blocking a holiday (overseas or otherwise) for a child with the other parent won’t get far with the Court unless there is a very good reason; such as risk of abduction.

Original poster
Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 14:39

We don't have a child arrangement order, we are currently in mediation atm and have agreed over the contact. It's the holiday specifically he is not giving permission for

OP posts:
YetiTeri · 03/04/2023 14:41

Gingergirl70 · 03/04/2023 14:17

Do you already have a child arrangement order in place? If so, this should cover who and when you can take your DC on holiday.
If not, I'm pretty sure you can't just nip into court and get an order to cover holidays alone! And yes, it costs money to go to court.
Why are you asking? What's the situation?

Yes you can. Why did you answer if you didn't know for a fact?

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 03/04/2023 14:44

You’ll need to make an application for the SIO right away. Courts aren’t moving quickly. If he can’t be persuaded to change his mind at the first directions hearing and it gets listed for a full hearing, that hearing likely won’t happen before the summer holidays.

You could apply for a specific SIO for this trip only or a more generic one that says you can go for up to 14/21/28 days without his permission.

YetiTeri · 03/04/2023 14:44

Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 14:39

We don't have a child arrangement order, we are currently in mediation atm and have agreed over the contact. It's the holiday specifically he is not giving permission for

If you can't get it agreed in mediation just explain you'll either:

  1. Go to a court for a specific issue order.
  2. Go for a CAO to say the child lives with you,which then allows you to take the child for up to 28 days without permission each time.

If he's going to be difficult go for the second and then it's done. Courts take a dim view of parents denying a child a holiday for no good reason.

Original poster
Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 14:48

@YetiTeri thank you very much, sorry probably being dim here but what's CAO? I'm googling it but think I'm looking at the wrong thing

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 03/04/2023 15:02

I’m a volunteer leader in Girlguides. A Dad refused permission for trip. Mum took it to court - we supplied copies of all risk assessments etc. She succeeded but I believe it cost her £8000 in lawyer and court fees. He was being totally unreasonable - saying mum was being reckless signing girl up for trip that another 150 girls her age were going on.

YetiTeri · 03/04/2023 15:24

Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 14:48

@YetiTeri thank you very much, sorry probably being dim here but what's CAO? I'm googling it but think I'm looking at the wrong thing

Child Arrangements Order. It's basically the current name for a residence order but it can cover any day to day arrangements. So you could formalise all that you agree in mediation and as long as it includes that the child resides with you, you'll get the 28days.

Any you can represent yourself, it's not easy but it's doable and the courts are quite used to it now.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 15:31

Dixiechickonhols · 03/04/2023 15:02

I’m a volunteer leader in Girlguides. A Dad refused permission for trip. Mum took it to court - we supplied copies of all risk assessments etc. She succeeded but I believe it cost her £8000 in lawyer and court fees. He was being totally unreasonable - saying mum was being reckless signing girl up for trip that another 150 girls her age were going on.

If he was being unreasonable and it was clear cut that was a waste of 8 grand when you can just go in and say that all yourself.

CremeEggThief · 03/04/2023 15:32

How old is the child and do they definitely want to go on this holiday would be my starting point in this situation. Obviously I can't tell you what to do , but you have to wonder how much of a holiday is it going to be and is it in everyone's best interests if it can only occur after a court order has been put in place. It would definitely take the shine off it for me, if I were the child here.

Dixiechickonhols · 03/04/2023 15:36

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 15:31

If he was being unreasonable and it was clear cut that was a waste of 8 grand when you can just go in and say that all yourself.

Show quote history

It was very acrimonious. I don’t know full ins and outs. There will be court fees even if you self represent.
I know mum felt it was worth it and as far as I know he didn’t object again so child could go on hobby trips/school trips.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 15:43

Dixiechickonhols · 03/04/2023 15:36

It was very acrimonious. I don’t know full ins and outs. There will be court fees even if you self represent.
I know mum felt it was worth it and as far as I know he didn’t object again so child could go on hobby trips/school trips.

Show quote history

Can be intimidating when the other side has solicitors but I do think courts see the truth and don't fall for well told lies.
You can always self rep and it's horrible that it can cost this much to protect your child

Original poster
Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 15:50

@CremeEggThief she's 5 and it will be to Disney so I'm hoping we'll worth the effort for her

OP posts:
Neededanewuserhandle · 03/04/2023 15:51

I self represented at contact hearings - ex had a lawyer. Lawyer was expensive and useless - my total costs were time off work and Court fee of £200and something.

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 03/04/2023 15:54

There are quite a few posts by women on here saying they would never allow their ex to take their children out of the country without them.

Original poster
Ksisusbshau · 03/04/2023 16:23

@Whatsthefrequencykenny I'm not sure what your point is?

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 03/04/2023 16:26

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 03/04/2023 15:54

There are quite a few posts by women on here saying they would never allow their ex to take their children out of the country without them.

All I’ve seen are where relationship broken down and trip was vague to see family abroad/go to his home country with real concerns he would stay there.
And one where dad wanted teen to go abroad gcse results week.

MrsJackGrealish · 03/04/2023 16:53

Dixiechickonhols · 03/04/2023 16:26

All I’ve seen are where relationship broken down and trip was vague to see family abroad/go to his home country with real concerns he would stay there.
And one where dad wanted teen to go abroad gcse results week.

Show quote history

I seem to remember with the teen, she didnt even want to go at that time because she wanted to collect her GCSE's with her friends. So it wasnt even the mum causing the problem.

Stressfordays · 03/04/2023 16:58

You can go court for a specific issues order. Does your ex know the dates of the trip? I'm taking my kids abroad this year and they have no contact with their Dad and there are no orders in place. From what I've been told, no one will stop me?

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 17:16

Stressfordays · 03/04/2023 16:58

You can go court for a specific issues order. Does your ex know the dates of the trip? I'm taking my kids abroad this year and they have no contact with their Dad and there are no orders in place. From what I've been told, no one will stop me?

Probably not. No one's stopped me taking my child away on my own.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 17:16

Stressfordays · 03/04/2023 16:58

You can go court for a specific issues order. Does your ex know the dates of the trip? I'm taking my kids abroad this year and they have no contact with their Dad and there are no orders in place. From what I've been told, no one will stop me?

I don't think there's time at any border to stop every lone parent to check whether the other parent is dead/agrees/doesn't agree/orders in place, hence why I didn't get stopped.

Gladiaterf · 03/04/2023 17:18

Why doesn't he want her to go?

CurlyTop1980 · 03/04/2023 17:24

My sisters ex husband refused to gibe permission to my sister to take my niece on holiday. Regardless of the fact they separated when the baby was 2 weeks old and he has never looked after her alone. Still hasn't and she is 8 now
He forced my sister to go to court and he hijacked her proceedings to force contact (which was never an issue).

If the child has your surname it's not an issue.