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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary Education

27 replies

AmyJahabee · 02/04/2023 20:00

I have come to realise that if I don’t teach my child at home even though they going to school they will not achieve their full potential which I’m glad to know and I have started doing. I have always read to my kids but not much maths. Is it too much to expect school and trust them about your child education. Can you please share your experience. I feel the method I have started is just not fair for the kids, they go to school got swimming, dance, martial art and also tutoring by mum. Not much fun time.

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 02/04/2023 20:04

It might depend on what your child's 'full potential' is - school has historically been pitched at the middle of the class, so the bright ones are stalled and the slower ones get left behind. Therefore if they are fairly average they will be better-served by having school alone than if they fall at either extreme.

Popsicle42 · 02/04/2023 20:04

I trust my children’s primary school completely. I’m not a teacher and I found home-schooling during lockdown incredibly difficult. I have read with my kids and we might practice times tables from time to time, but I’ve really not done much. My kids thrived and are thriving in their primary school. My son needs a bit of support with his handwriting. The SEN coordinator has referred us to OT and we’re working with the school to help in. But there are absolutely no gaps in their primary education that I needed to fill…I wouldn’t know how to!

Floofyduffypuddy · 02/04/2023 20:05

It depends in the child and the school.

One dd did well the other would be learning zilch if it wasn't for my intervention.

It's appalling but that's the way it is I just wish it was more transparent because I'm an engaged interested parent and I thought a system would click into place. There is nothing there and scant knowlege

3WildOnes · 02/04/2023 20:08

My children have learnt loads in school. I still do extra work with them at home. My children still have lots of down time though. How much extra work are you doing with them?

Theimpossiblegirl · 02/04/2023 20:09

Children are in school for about 190 days a year. Many schools are chronically underfunded and cannot possibly meet the needs of every child. There is often just the teacher in a class.

Of course parents should be supporting their children with reading, spelling and timetables practice as an absolute minimum.

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2023 20:11

What do you actually want from their primary education? Surely as long as they are reading every day and if your worried about maths doing a worksheet or online programme. Should take 30mins max unless school give loads homework too

KingValkyrie · 02/04/2023 20:13

If we learned anything from covid and home schooling it was that school was much better at educating my children than i could ever hope to be. We just butt heads when it comes to education, i don't know why, but the teachers get so much out of them.

Hollyhead · 02/04/2023 20:14

Since the 2014 curriculum (which isn't perfect), the primary curriculum, particularly for maths is pretty rigorous. What aspects are you concerned about? My Yr 6 child is doing things I didn't do until year 8 Set 1.

2ndGenerationHomeEducator · 02/04/2023 20:14

Have you considered home education?
Lessons in morning, potentially with tutors if needed...
Then home ed groups/ clubs in afternoon/ evening.

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 02/04/2023 20:14

I was mainly focused on reading and spelling which both kids have no gaps, I left math and didn’t do much home school and my eldest struggles to catch up.

OP posts:
Rowthe · 02/04/2023 20:16

I think the best thing to do for primary.

Is make they read regularly and are great with their timestables.

If they do the above regularly they should be great going into Secondary.

RoseslnTheHospital · 02/04/2023 20:17

How far behind where they should be are they, and how do you know? If the school has flagged up that they are behind where they should be, then they should be able to advise on what the approach is to improve that.

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 02/04/2023 20:19

During covid I work from home and home school the eldest and she was striving with maths and English, but after they went back to school I stopped as I also work full time and just couldn’t manage to continue as don’t have the time. I realise when I recently started tutoring her her at home she has forgotten a lot.

OP posts:
rainylake · 02/04/2023 20:20

You can do maths practice in “dead times”. So times table practice or questions while you are driving somewhere or waiting for something to start. Have an activity book you take out and about so if you are in a cafe they can do 10 minutes while they are sitting there. Games like “hit the button” that are free online and they can do on your phone. It needn’t take over your life or mean they have no down time

UsingChangeofName · 02/04/2023 20:20

I haven't voted as I am not sure what your AIBU is.

I never did any "school work" at home.
I always encouraged reading, talking, listening. We visited places. We did practical things (cooking, using their own money, telling the time). I encouraged them to have hobbies outside of school (between them, over the years - various sports, swimming, music, Church, drama, but the very best for all has been Scouts).
I personally wouldn't want to come home from my job during the day to then have to do another hour's work at home, and I wouldn't inflict that upon young children. School is school and home is home as far as I am concerned.

Original poster
AmyJahabee · 02/04/2023 20:24

thanks everyone for your input

@rainylake thanks I like the idea of just doing it every where when opportunity come. I will try that 😊

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 02/04/2023 20:28

AmyJahabee · 02/04/2023 20:24

thanks everyone for your input

@rainylake thanks I like the idea of just doing it every where when opportunity come. I will try that 😊

I agree op. I'm a teacher and know how stretched schools are. I'm paying for mine to go to a tutor.

FlawlessSquid · 05/04/2023 05:39

Sadly yes.

Lauren1000 · 18/08/2023 19:58

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Sceptre86 · 18/08/2023 20:07

I agree. My older two are 6 and 7. We work on handwriting practice, spelling and maths with dd1. With ds I work on number formation, blending and maths. I do 10 minutes a night with each child and either they read or I read a story every night.

EmmaJaneMum41 · 19/11/2023 11:21

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Cattiwampus · 19/11/2023 11:32

There are a number of reasons many private schools do well.
Smaller classes
Better funding
Selective intake

In state primary you are dealing with 30+ children
Resources often depending on the generosity of the PTA, priorities of the SLT and how much the teacher is buying with their own cash
A vast abilities, SN, EBD a challenges and home circumstances without the corresponding backup required. Either from the school, the home or necessary professional staff bought in.
Constantly moving goal posts and targets from whichever party is currently in government, that time, effort and cash is spent attempting to achieve. These demands are often scrapped a year or a few months later.

It is a system that’s been at breaking point for decades.
It’s a mess, but if you have children, then teaching them and supporting their learning is one way to make a huge difference to their chances.

Cattiwampus · 19/11/2023 11:33

Apologies, I didn’t realise it was yet another zombie thread resurrected.

DanceMumTaxi · 19/11/2023 11:41

I’m not really sure what’s going on and why you feel that your child is behind in maths. Is it because you didn’t do much maths during Covid? What exactly is the problem with your child’s maths? My eldest is in yr6 and some of the things they’re doing are really quite challenging. I definitely didn’t do them until secondary school age. Is it that your child finds maths more difficult than other subjects?

Teatrayderby · 19/11/2023 11:44

We realised in lockdown when DD was in reception that she didn't know things she was expected to and very able to understand. So from then on we've worked on maths and English every week with her to ensure she is following everything. It helps with confidence in maths in particular which is so important considering girls get so many negative messages about their maths abilities.

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