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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want DD going abroad for cosmetic surgery?

46 replies

icepetal · 01/04/2023 18:29

Namechanged so old posts about her don't potentially identify her.

DD is now 22 and has booked to go to Lithuania to have her ears pinned back and an arm lift (she lost 3 stone and for some reason her upper arms were left with a lot of skin).

I'm absolutely petrified for her. Admittedly I don't know much about Lithuania at all but having any surgery abroad is a no for me. She said she can't afford to have it here and the loan she is already taking is the most she can afford to repay already.

I want to support her, I think she is perfect how she is but they are both huge insecurities of hers, with the ears being since she was a child and now I partly wishes we had agreed to have them done on the NHS when she was little, so I'm not against her doing what will improve her confidence loads.

I'm just against her going abroad.

Suggested she maybe wait and save more and she said she doesn't want to waste more of her life feeling this way.

I hate the idea Sad

OP posts:
PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 18:32

It's it Nords clinic?

They're very good. I know it's scary but they really have very high standards.

I had weightloss surgery in Turkey an dmy mum came with me. Could you go with her?

Most of the women I went with went to Nordsaesthetics in Lithuania for their plastics and they look fantastic.

I understand you may not want her to go but she's an adult.

MrsDoylesDoily · 01/04/2023 18:33

There are some great clinic and skillful surgeons in Lithuania, so it might put your mind at rest if you carefully research with her the place she chooses.

Tbh I'd be more worried about the loan and how she's going to pay that back.

BananasinPyhamas · 01/04/2023 18:34

Can you help pay towards it so she can have it all done in the UK instead?

PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 18:35

Have a look at their website and Facebook pages. They really do have high standards. They have alot of people travel from all over so it's in their best interests to have impeccable practices.

If I ever end up getting a tummy tuck I will be going there.

Surgery is always risky, whether it's NHS, private UK or Lithuania but I wouldn't worry more because it's there.

icepetal · 01/04/2023 18:38

I absolutely would love to be in a financial position to help her but she earns more than me!

Was worried about the loan too, suggested she just waits as she is currently doing well saving (been in her job a year) and she says she would rather have the thing now and finish paying it off by the time she would have had to wait to finally have it. I kind of got her point, so worried a little less about that and I know she is very sensible when it comes to finances (probably better than me, so I feel I'm not in a great position to be lecturer on that).

Sounds really reassuring that Lithuania can be good! Only ever heard of Turkey and terrible things.

OP posts:
PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 18:47

My surgery in Turkey was fantastic. The hospital was like a hotel, lovely nurses. Several visits from the surgeon pre and post op. Super diligent care.

Most packages include 2nd support person to go with.

MrsDoylesDoily · 01/04/2023 19:01

You need to do two things OP.

  1. Help her research the clinic
  2. Make sure she hasn't used a loan shark.

If she's only been in her job a year, I hope she's taking insurance with the loan?

Carpediem15 · 01/04/2023 19:01

Lady near me went to Lithuanis (think it was the clinic mentioned) for a hip replacement and is very pleased with it. Said the care and rehab was second to none.

TwinsAndTiramisu · 01/04/2023 19:03

Lithuania I wouldn't be worried about at all. Could you go with her, just to help her about afterwards and getting back on the plane with her luggage etc. As it's specifically arms, will she be able to carry/pull/hold much?

icepetal · 01/04/2023 19:12

The loan is from her bank (Santander). Can't lie, I've never taken a loan, so I'm not entirely clued up on that side of things. What's the insurance?

OP posts:
icepetal · 01/04/2023 19:13

Would like to go with her ideally yes, as bit worried she will be left not being able to do much because of her arms and I reckon I won't then sit at home just being absolutely worried sick she is also on her own out there but need to see if it's possible with work

OP posts:
Whatthediddlyfeck · 01/04/2023 19:14

PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 18:47

My surgery in Turkey was fantastic. The hospital was like a hotel, lovely nurses. Several visits from the surgeon pre and post op. Super diligent care.

Most packages include 2nd support person to go with.

I had a similar experience…in fact I’ve stayed in worse hotels!

bellac11 · 01/04/2023 19:14

Theres information online that Nords are absolutely negligent. I know nothing other than some information from a support group Im in with lots of people who need skin removal who have mentioned it (and Ive been browsing the conversations)

RoryMcGory · 01/04/2023 19:16

I had cosmetic surgery in Cyprus and it was excellent.

icepetal · 01/04/2023 19:16

Just asked her if its Nords and it's Fi Clinica

OP posts:
PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 19:17

It's actually almost impossible to get surgery insurance going abroad.

She can get normal insurance incase she needs to cancel beforehand due to accident ect. But that would just cover accommodation and flights. Not the procedure but you usually pay when you get there.

But if something went wrong with elective surgery it's very unlikely her insurance would help her.

I went 2 years ago so maybe there's more options now but I could find anything. Even the dedicated insurances said in the small print it would be void in the event of surgery going wrong so not sure what the point is.

Fordian · 01/04/2023 19:31

PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 18:32

It's it Nords clinic?

They're very good. I know it's scary but they really have very high standards.

I had weightloss surgery in Turkey an dmy mum came with me. Could you go with her?

Most of the women I went with went to Nordsaesthetics in Lithuania for their plastics and they look fantastic.

I understand you may not want her to go but she's an adult.

Did you get your surgical notes regarding your weight-loss surgery from Turkey?

Bane of my professional life, trying to ascertain the manufacturer and model of your Turkish-fitted gastric band so we can perform an MRI safely on you!

And, interestingly, not you, I'm sure- 😊 a major source of patient complaints as to why we aren't just going ahead and scanning them.

ishy90 · 01/04/2023 19:32

@Fordian why do you think she had a band? Most weight loss surgeries these days are sleeves or bypasses

1AnotherOne · 01/04/2023 19:37

Not all hospitals abroad are terrible, they just don’t have to meet the same targets as us. There are some FANTASTIC surgeons abroad.

I work in plastic surgery privately but the surgeons I work with also work is the nhs so my story from them is this. Your daughter will have no aftercare here. If she god forbid gets an infection then the nhs will only ‘fix’ the problem of the infection source - they won’t do scar revisions etc or any correction work.

flying after surgery is also a worry with DVT becoming a higher risk.

1AnotherOne · 01/04/2023 19:38

i do know someone who went to Fi clinica and her results look great

IDontWantToBeAPie · 01/04/2023 19:38

Can you lend her the extra money to have it done here? If not there's not much you can say to dissuade her.

I was very try against going abroad and so had my teeth done here in the UK. I was butchered. Now paying £8k to correct what they did. So having it at home doesn't ensure it's safe either.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 01/04/2023 19:40

Fordian · 01/04/2023 19:31

Did you get your surgical notes regarding your weight-loss surgery from Turkey?

Bane of my professional life, trying to ascertain the manufacturer and model of your Turkish-fitted gastric band so we can perform an MRI safely on you!

And, interestingly, not you, I'm sure- 😊 a major source of patient complaints as to why we aren't just going ahead and scanning them.

Sleeve not band for me so no issues with that info, and I got all my notes my gp was quite impressed!

IDontWantToBeAPie · 01/04/2023 19:46

I'd still not recommend it simply because, as above from medics, the NHS won't help her past stabilisation and most private centres won't touch her with a barge pole for corrections after.

MrsJackGrealish · 01/04/2023 20:02

She needs be wary, and do her research.

I know someone who went for an op in Turkey recently and returned unwell. Turns out, she had a kidney removed during that op.

PassportDramahh · 01/04/2023 20:19

Fordian · 01/04/2023 19:31

Did you get your surgical notes regarding your weight-loss surgery from Turkey?

Bane of my professional life, trying to ascertain the manufacturer and model of your Turkish-fitted gastric band so we can perform an MRI safely on you!

And, interestingly, not you, I'm sure- 😊 a major source of patient complaints as to why we aren't just going ahead and scanning them.

Yes, full set of notes. Printed and on a USB x