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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you cant say yes to a birthday party then not show up

74 replies

Birthdaysmurf · 01/04/2023 11:30

i am throwing a birthday party for my daughter. I invited my nieces their mum agreed for them to come. I included them in the numbers and paid for their spaces at the party.
i’ve been banging on anout the party, reminded her the day before the party. The day of the party no answer from her, she text me when the party was finished to say she had completely forgotten.

I am really mad, why agree, i reminded her the day before.

OP posts:
thegrain · 01/04/2023 12:53

Dacadactyl · 01/04/2023 12:27

My nieces wouldn't be invited to anything again in your shoes.

I'd be tempted to text back "well I paid for their spaces and they didn't turn up, so I'm a bit annoyed I'm out of pocket now."

See what she says back.

It's one thing if she'd texted to say there'd been an emergency, or if she'd said she'd forgotten but offered to cover the cost of their spaces. But to just say "I forgot" is totally unacceptable.

Yeah I'd do that. And not plan anything with them again. Flakey arse.

piedbeauty · 01/04/2023 12:53

Why did you have to 'bang on' about the party to her? It does sound as if she missed it deliberately. Is there any back story between you?
M

TooManyCoasters · 01/04/2023 12:54

Sockloon · 01/04/2023 12:24

People can do what ever they like. Sorry your dd does not trump other people's life's.

Do you not understand normal social behaviour and expectations? Tell me which areas you are especially struggling with and I will see if I can help.

Original poster
Birthdaysmurf · 01/04/2023 12:59

Its my step sister.
and i was speaking to her about all the organisation that i needed to do
She had actually asked me to babysit that day which is weird that she had forgotten

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 01/04/2023 13:03

*lives

Not only a prat but an ungrammatical prat.

StormInaDcup99 · 01/04/2023 13:05

Sockloon · 01/04/2023 12:24

People can do what ever they like. Sorry your dd does not trump other people's life's.

Ridiculous post
Troll

HRTQueen · 01/04/2023 13:14

It’s annoying

People are flakey and you are understandably upset as feel you dd has been let down

but she had a good time keep that in mind the more you get annoyed she will pick up on this and feel upset herself

there will be many times you are disappointed in people particularly towards you dd it’s life unfortunately

Cattenberg · 01/04/2023 13:15

It is rude and selfish. If I’d genuinely forgotten a child’s party I would have been mortified and tried to make it up to them.

Reading some of these posts, I can see I was lucky with DD’s soft play party. I sent out nine invitations asking people to RSVP and seven replied. I chased the remaining two and they both said they were coming. On the day, one turned up and the other didn’t. I was a bit annoyed as there was another child we’d have liked to invite who could have come instead.

girlfriend44 · 01/04/2023 13:15

Sockloon · 01/04/2023 12:24

People can do what ever they like. Sorry your dd does not trump other people's life's.

Don't accept the invite then if you can't be bothered.

BelindaBears · 01/04/2023 13:16

YANBU she did this on purpose. I had a few no-shows at DD’s party but they were flaky school parents. If the no-shows had been relatives I’d have been livid.

drpet49 · 01/04/2023 13:17

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/04/2023 11:46

People are rude, selfish and thoughtless. Don’t invite them again.

This. I hope she pays for the spaces but I doubt she will.

NotAHouse · 01/04/2023 13:17

Several people did this for my daughter's 7th birthday party. They're all dead to me now.

thegrain · 01/04/2023 13:20

NotAHouse · 01/04/2023 13:17

Several people did this for my daughter's 7th birthday party. They're all dead to me now.

Yup. Its so cruel to a kid. If someone is ill then sure otherwise what is going on with the flakey bums.

Tarantellah · 01/04/2023 13:22

I could understand if the kids were suddenly taken ill. I’ve been in that situation before, my DC vomited on the morning so we didn’t go to the party in the afternoon. But I told the host and apologised. I don’t think is reasonable to just not show up.

Smartiepants79 · 01/04/2023 13:29

I can’t understand how anyone can think this extremely rude behaviour is ok or normal!!!!!
If you don’t want to go then just say ‘no thank you I’m afraid we’re busy’
She did not forget, she’s chose not to bother.
The only possible acceptable excuse is if someone ended up in hospital.

OpenYourEyesPeople · 01/04/2023 13:43

Sockloon · 01/04/2023 12:24

People can do what ever they like. Sorry your dd does not trump other people's life's.

You sound like the kind of idiot that pulls this shit.

BellePeppa · 01/04/2023 13:57

Sockloon · 01/04/2023 12:24

People can do what ever they like. Sorry your dd does not trump other people's life's.

And you sound like someone who does exactly that. Manners and social graces not your strong point?

BellePeppa · 01/04/2023 13:59

Smartiepants79 · 01/04/2023 13:29

I can’t understand how anyone can think this extremely rude behaviour is ok or normal!!!!!
If you don’t want to go then just say ‘no thank you I’m afraid we’re busy’
She did not forget, she’s chose not to bother.
The only possible acceptable excuse is if someone ended up in hospital.

@Sockloon thinks it’s ok 🙄

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/04/2023 14:01

I don’t think it needs to be as dramatic as someone being in hospital. I don’t want kids with vomiting or diarrhoea or chickenpox at a party. All of those things should lead to a cancellation message.

Timetosayno · 01/04/2023 14:02

How old are the nieces? Would they have not known/remembered? Am only saying as my child would certainly be reminding me about a party invite!

Smartiepants79 · 01/04/2023 14:09

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/04/2023 14:01

I don’t think it needs to be as dramatic as someone being in hospital. I don’t want kids with vomiting or diarrhoea or chickenpox at a party. All of those things should lead to a cancellation message.

Phoning and saying the child is sick and you’re very sorry they won’t be coming is completely fine! That’s is unfortunate but understandable.
Being unable to come at the last minute is one of those things but simply just not bothering to come or respond to calls is bloody rude.
My Dd ended up in A&E a few weeks ago. We still managed to phone the pub we were due to visit for lunch to let them know we weren’t coming! Common courtesy.

Justalittlebitduckling · 01/04/2023 14:14

I do think people have become even flakier since the pandemic. There were loads of no shows at my DCs party. Thankfully we massively over invited so it didn’t matter. But yes, it is annoying.

Justalittlebitduckling · 01/04/2023 14:16

Birthdaysmurf · 01/04/2023 12:59

Its my step sister.
and i was speaking to her about all the organisation that i needed to do
She had actually asked me to babysit that day which is weird that she had forgotten

I had someone who had RSVPd to my DCs party saying they were coming, who texted me DURING the party to invite me to their DCs party 🙄

MinnieMountain · 01/04/2023 14:32

It’s rude.
A friend of DS’s didn’t go to 2 parties that she and DS were going to last autumn because her DM said she was tired from parties the day before 🙄

Exl · 01/04/2023 14:33

Sockloon · 01/04/2023 12:24

People can do what ever they like. Sorry your dd does not trump other people's life's.

It’s “whatever” not “what ever” and “lives” not “life’s”…

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