To think a lot of people assume miscarriages aren't that painful?

[Greenvelvetdress]

I know that it's like anything if you've not experienced it but the amount of people that tell you 'it's just like a period' when they have absolutely no idea what it's like.

I had no idea before I had my first miscarriage how long and drawn out they are, the need for surgery etc. Hoping to just raise some awareness about this.

My experience of miscarriage has been a bit like a bad period. However, I think my periods were generally much worse than most people's - very heavy and very painful. So it kind of depends on what you're comparing it to, I suppose.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, OP. It's horrible.

You live and learn, I guess. I'm sorry for your loss and your awful experience. I had one D&C at 13 weeks, then two normal miscarriages at 8 and 10 weeks. A lot of blood but no major pain, just period-like cramps. Mentally, it took me a long time to recover, but physically they weren't terrible.

Medical miscarriage treatment with all but one of mine and this was my experience.

I have laboured with one full term birth so I do know what it feels like.

Agree. I was shocked.

With my first one, they gave me the tablets in hospital to induce the miscarriage. I bled and bled and was at one point curled up in the floor in pain. I'd say it was in some ways worse than my full labours because it seemed to be one long contraction all in my back, rather than the on/off waves.

After all of that, the baby still hadn't come away, and I spontaneously miscarried at home about a week later. There was blood everywhere, but this time it was more wave-like and I was able to cope at home in the bath.

The second one I insisted on a surgical management as I couldn't face it again.

I had mine at 12 weeks (foetus had been viable at 9 weeks) and it was excruciating. So much blood - DH said it looked like I'd been shot. Fortunately I didn't need any medical intervention.

I was off work for a week and a half as I wasn't confident to go back to work while I was still bleeding. My boss was a bit put out until his wife had one a few weeks later and they ended up in A&E because she was in so much pain. He did have the grace to apologise.

(The emotional fallout warrants its own thread.)

It is like labour. I've had several miscarriages and four labours.
The pain is the same. It's the uterus contracting to rid itself of its contents. Same process.
Also, a lot of miscarriages last many, many days. Labour doesn't.

I agree with you OP. My mother said it was just like a heavy period, I personally bled more heavily during a miscarriage than I did after either of my two full term births! It was horrific to be honest, I had blood in my hair, the hospital had to throw away my clothes, it was just gushing out of me. I had flashbacks for a long time after.

And you (usually, hopefully) have a baby at the end of it. A miscarriage is just like watching all those dreams pour away.

Yeah it was more bleeding than my births.

Yes 😪

Thanks so much for everyone's well wishes and support.

Also for everyone sharing their experiences because like people have pointed out some people's might be like periods.

For me, it's so important to talk about it and I do with my friends and family.

Unfortunately this is my third miscarriage and I've found all three painful and quite traumatic with complications. Just hoping it's all over soon 🤞🏼

I agree.
I had one at 6 to 8 weeks that was like a heavy period.
The one I had at 12 to 13 weeks was basically like labour. Contractions and pain for hours followed by ridiculously heavy bleeding for days.

I’ve had two and for the second I asked the GP for co codamol beforehand.

It was a MMC and I knew it would be in next few days. They were a bit off about it but I absolutely didn’t regret it. It happened and I felt much better emotionally and physically.

It was a tough one as I was in last chance saloon age wise

Well given that nobody is much interested in women’s suffering in labour it’s hardly surprising

It must depend on different factors and the gestation must be one that's important.

I had two miscarriages both just before 6 weeks (pregnancy seen on scan previously, so not a chemical) and they weren't really painful at all. I could have totally carried on as normal apart from being sad. However I would never presume that everyone's experience was like mine!

So sorry you are going through this. Be kind to yourself. It’s a miserable experience x

Every experience is different. I've had 3 miscarriages, none was painful. But I have also given birth twice with no pain relief and no pain, just a slight back ache. All of the miscarriages were distressing, emotionally, but none was painful. I really wouldn't generalize, I think it really is a very personal experience.

I've had four - all around 12 weeks. None of them were at all painful, just a few period-like cramps. Yet there was so much blood, it was everywhere. With one, I was at work and a work friend drove me to the hospital - by the time I got there, the A+E staff thought I'd been involved in a car accident, there was so much blood.

Everyone is different , which is why people say "it's like such and such" because that was their experience.

I had an ectopic which was treated with methotrexate and the cramps had me curled up sobbing on all fours. Nothing like a period. I’m sorry so many people on this thread have had these experiences ❤️

I had a miscarriage at 16 and not one health professional prepared me. Someone came over when I was sobbing outside the hospital clutching a miscarriage leaflet and advised I go for a D&C. Best thing I did.

I think this is such an interesting conversation to have because it's a part of life you literally don't have a clue about until you go through it and all of a sudden you are in a room and a midwife is asking you if you want conservative, surgical or medical management.

For me (passed 9w fetus at 11w with Conservative management) it was like a labour in that I felt my body prepare for it, the pains and bleeding increased until the sac passed and it was definitely contractions. Overall the bleeding was lighter than a period outside of actually passing the sac. Pain managed with nurofen plus and a sleeping tablet once it was all done. It took 4 days from first drop of blood to pass the sac. My friend had thr exact same gestation but had medical management and had a terrible time of it, rigors and diarrhoea and excruciating pain, she went on to have an MVA and wishes she just did that in the first place.

What I wasn't prepared for was the post partum hormone changes I experienced, I had night sweats and hair loss and carpal tunnel pain for months afterwards.

Pressed send too soon. The cramps before and after were horrendous. I can't imagine going through the whole process.

I've had three. Two were intensely painful but the last was horrific.

No pain relief as it came on three days before I was booked in if Orr aa D&C.

Full blown contractions, all alone, until matter was removed from my cervix with no anaesthetic (because by by that stage it was an emergency and I was semi conscious.)

If men had miscarriages they wouldn't be treated like wild animals.

I'm really fucking angry about it and it's been five years.

I sympathise with you, op. Miscarriages are extremely painful, take hours, are bloody and frightening. The degree of pain depends on how far the mother is into the pregnancy. I had one at 12 weeks and it was ten times worse than giving birth to a full term baby later on. At least with a grown baby you have something substantial to push, with a miscarriage the baby/foetus is so tiny.

We do recover, thankfully, and move on, which I trust will soon be the case for you.

I am sorry @AreNotHere Is it too late for you now? Same situation here.