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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

someone who has had a brain bleed allowed to fall in hospital toilet smashing his head AIBU

90 replies

tallulah07 · 31/03/2023 23:42

I just visited a relative in hospital. He had a brain bleed 24 hours ago and is extremely unsteady on his feet. When I arrived he said he needed the toilet and asked me to pass him his walking stick. I did this and watched with concern as he shuffled one inch at a time. A nurse came in and told him he must ask to be helped if he needs to go to the loo. She took his arm and led him to the toilet which was opposite the ward. I sit on his chair. About 5 minutes later I head an almighty crash and a cry of pain. DH saw that my relative had been left in the toilet and he had fallen and smashed his head very hard against the door! AIBU to think that he should have been placed on the loo and helped back up. When I left he was in pain in his head and waiting for the doctor who had been called. I feel so upset and angry as somebody who has had a brain bleed should be lying still and not left unattended anywhere.

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 31/03/2023 23:45

Yet you watched him?

Ponoka7 · 31/03/2023 23:47

It needs to be asked why he was left unattended. Duty of care can override consent, but it can take an accident to get to that point. Ask your relative why he isn't asking for, or possibly, accepting the help he needs.

bloodywhitecat · 31/03/2023 23:48

It doesn't surprise me. DH fell out of bed on the night of his stroke because he was left unattended.

usernamechanged1 · 31/03/2023 23:51

When she took him to the toilet she‘ll have given him the buzzer cord and told him to press it when he was finished, so he could be helped back to bed.

It’s not typical that a nurse would stand over someone in a toilet. If they’re that much of a risk, it’d be a catheter/bottle and bedpan.

TrishTrix · 31/03/2023 23:52

And you gave him his stick so he could get out of bed without help in the first place!!!

bumblethump · 31/03/2023 23:54

Not surprised. My DM fell out of bed three times during end of life care as a consequence of nurses not putting the bed rail back up.

CC4712 · 31/03/2023 23:54

Hard to know without more details. If I was visiting someone in hospital who had just had a stroke, I wouldn't have handed them a walking stick, but instead called the buzzer to check they were capable of getting to the loo/getting assistance. Maybe the nurse that helped him to the loo wasn't 'his' nurse and didn't know how bad his mobility was? No excuse for leaving someone, but he might have told her to leave the bathroom and leave him alone? she might have gone to get extra help when he tried getting up again. SHe might have told him to stay until she got more help. I hope he is ok?

AluckyEllie · 01/04/2023 00:10

It’s very hard to staff those wards- was it a neuro surgical or stroke ward? You’ll have a nurse and hca for 10 patients and maybe 4 are confused or don’t ring for help with mobilising so it’s very hard to prevent falls. The hospital doesn’t have funding for more staff to watch these patients but a fall can lengthen hospital time etc and also costs money! It’s hard to find a solution tbh.

justgettingthroughtheday · 01/04/2023 00:16

bumblethump · 31/03/2023 23:54

Not surprised. My DM fell out of bed three times during end of life care as a consequence of nurses not putting the bed rail back up.

They often don't use the bed rails as people try to climb over them or lean over them and fall from a greater height.
To use them there has to be risk assessments done and they are pretty much only used for those who cannot move themselves

justgettingthroughtheday · 01/04/2023 00:19

Leaving them unattended on the loo for a few moment whilst not great is sadly inevitable. There simply isn't the funding for 1:1 nursing for everyone. Who knows what they were called away to but they are rushed off their feet. They may even have been getting something for your relative! Your relative was almost certainly told to pull the buzzer when they were ready.

maddening · 01/04/2023 00:22

He should ask.for.a commode and they bring it to your bedside.

Munchiesareyum · 01/04/2023 00:23

usernamechanged1 · 31/03/2023 23:51

When she took him to the toilet she‘ll have given him the buzzer cord and told him to press it when he was finished, so he could be helped back to bed.

It’s not typical that a nurse would stand over someone in a toilet. If they’re that much of a risk, it’d be a catheter/bottle and bedpan.

This.

I say this as a ex-nurse. Hope he is OK.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 01/04/2023 00:23

Could you or DH not have helped him? I’d did you just sit there and watch?

Original poster
tallulah07 · 01/04/2023 00:23

No I was with him until a nurse took his arm and led him across the corridor. I sat down so did not see but my husband did. He saw my relative open the curtain and then collapse - the nurse was stood in the corridor close to a trolley. Suddenly there were 5 or 6 nurses around him.

OP posts:
Original poster
tallulah07 · 01/04/2023 00:24

No immediately there were 5 or 6 nurses tending to him

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 01/04/2023 00:25

OP I also wonder why he was not using a commode or bedpan. If he wanted to go to the toilet alone, they can't be blamed.

Original poster
tallulah07 · 01/04/2023 00:26

He stood up on his own - I gave him his stick and then the nurse took him by the arm and led him out of the ward

OP posts:
Miri13 · 01/04/2023 00:38

I was on a neuro ward for a period as had brain bleed which led to stroke. Fortunately I had my mental capacity so knew when to press buzzers etc. but in saying that the amount of time people I or other patients did press buzzers and were waiting ages for a response. I’m not from the UK and was shocked to put it mildly. I understand there is a staff shortage but frankly I feel some people are in the NHS for the wrong reason. So I’m not in the slightest bit surprised at what your poor relative is going through. Hope they recover soon and agree with all you’ve said.

embolass · 01/04/2023 05:05

Your husband saw him open the curtain - (on a toilet ?) and then collapse. Why not head to help when saw him pulling back the curtain ?

HollyFern1110 · 01/04/2023 05:53

usernamechanged1 · 31/03/2023 23:51

When she took him to the toilet she‘ll have given him the buzzer cord and told him to press it when he was finished, so he could be helped back to bed.

It’s not typical that a nurse would stand over someone in a toilet. If they’re that much of a risk, it’d be a catheter/bottle and bedpan.

This is absolutely what happens.

Supernova23 · 01/04/2023 06:05

People fall unfortunately. You can literally be standing next to someone, or supporting them, and they can fall. He should have asked for a commode or bottle at the bedside if he was very unsteady, assuming he isn’t confused and can communicate. Patients do not suddenly omit all self responsibility just because they are in hospital.

MichelleScarn · 01/04/2023 06:25

Interestingly on another thread nurse's are being demonised for being with a highly at risk of harm patient while they were in the loo.

usernamechanged1 · 01/04/2023 06:37

Supernova23 · 01/04/2023 06:05

People fall unfortunately. You can literally be standing next to someone, or supporting them, and they can fall. He should have asked for a commode or bottle at the bedside if he was very unsteady, assuming he isn’t confused and can communicate. Patients do not suddenly omit all self responsibility just because they are in hospital.

They sure do. As do their families.

Toddlerteaplease · 01/04/2023 06:41

I wait outside the toilet, if I take patients But regularly check they were ok. Would you want to have an audience?

Toddlerteaplease · 01/04/2023 06:42

And you really should have check his mobility status with a nurse, rather than give him his stick.