someone who has had a brain bleed allowed to fall in hospital toilet smashing his head AIBU

[tallulah07]

I just visited a relative in hospital. He had a brain bleed 24 hours ago and is extremely unsteady on his feet. When I arrived he said he needed the toilet and asked me to pass him his walking stick. I did this and watched with concern as he shuffled one inch at a time. A nurse came in and told him he must ask to be helped if he needs to go to the loo. She took his arm and led him to the toilet which was opposite the ward. I sit on his chair. About 5 minutes later I head an almighty crash and a cry of pain. DH saw that my relative had been left in the toilet and he had fallen and smashed his head very hard against the door! AIBU to think that he should have been placed on the loo and helped back up. When I left he was in pain in his head and waiting for the doctor who had been called. I feel so upset and angry as somebody who has had a brain bleed should be lying still and not left unattended anywhere.

Absolutely agree that the NHS is not shit

Your story doesn’t make sense. You say he was left in the cubicle and fell and banged his head against the door. And then that your husband watched him open a curtain and then collapse. Which was it? You believed he should be on his back in bed and yet passed him his walking stick to get up?
he won’t be on blood thinners if he’s had a bleed

Nonsense response.

The NHS is definitely shit. I work there and we all currently think it's unsafe and a disgrace atm.

I am not a nurse, just a carer. Falls prevention is so difficult. I've been with people/walking alongside them and they've fallen. You can't always prevent it or guide them gently to the floor. People are heavy.

Falls training actually tells you not to try to stop someone falling because you can really injure yourself. Personally it is just a natural reaction to try to stop someone falling but it just isn't always possible. And I can't tell you how terrible you feel as a caregiver to be unable to prevent a fall. But it doesn't sound like anyone is yo blame here.

Its normal practice for patient dignity, to put them on the loo then give them a few minutes alone to pee/poo. Lots of people find it really hard and distressing to perfrom to a stranger.

Having recently been in hospital and not steady enough to walk etc my toilet visits were as follows
Press buzzer from bes
Nurse comes and walks me to toilet / bathroom
Nurse gives CLEAR instructions to call the buzzer when finished and makes sure i can reach the chord
Nurse pulls across a curtain
Nurse closes the bathroom door (and i assume moves the door sign to engaged)

Then when finished I pull the buzzer string and nurse arrives to help me stand / get back to bed etc

If id have got up and fallen having not pulled the buzzer (and waited as long as it takes for nurse to arrive) then a fall would have been MY fault, not the fault of a nurse or the NHS.

I would assume the same procure was followed which means it's your relative who was to blame

No “just” about it. 😉The rest of us couldn’t do our jobs without you. That goes for nurses, doctors, allied health professionals etc.

You’re worth your weight in gold to your colleagues.

Absolutely this @NorthernLights5, if we need discharge planning meetings for complex patients, it's absolutely the carers who have the best, most knowledgeable input on the patient's ability and needs in their own environment! Don't sell yourself short! 🌟

@usernamechanged1 @MichelleScarn thank you for your kindness. We get overlooked so much sometimes it's hard to remember there are people who appreciate us. I'm so thankful for your comments!

They've carried out a risk assessment and acted accordingly. They can't have every patient within sight 24hrs a dad. BTW just so you know. If a patient is about to fall you let them. Of course if your next to them you do your best to 'lower' them but you don't 'jump in' to stop the fall or 'catch them'. It's not like 'saving' a 2 year old. It's a 10+ stone adult. You don't put yourself at risk.
I guess whats happened here is that your relative was impatient and didn't wait. I'm sorry they hurt themselves

Could you or DH not have helped him? I’d did you just sit there and watch?

No, OP was really helpful, passed him his walking stick.

When my mum is with a bleed on the brain she was told that she had to lay flat and not even attempt to sit up/walk. Of course she was so out of it in pain etc she didn't really take it in and kept trying to get out of bed. For her own safety and to stop the bleed getting worse she had an alarm fitted to her that went off every time she tried to get out. She had her surgery about a week later, and still had to take it easy then with sitting/walking etc.
@tallulah07 i'm so sorry your relative had a fall, and I hope he is now getting better and this hasn't knocked him back too much x

Oopsididitagaintomorrow - thank you for your kind words xx

BungleandGeorge I say cubicle, I mean curtained area ie loo, the main door was left open. My relative may not have remembered about pulling a cord. This was before I knew anything at all about the area in his brain that had been affected. People jump to NHS's defence and so do I - I am fully appreciative of all that they do, under difficult circumstances and being short staffed. If I had been asked to walk him to the loo I would have done and I would have made sure he stood up safely when he had finished. I assumed the nurse would have done the same. This is not a blame game - I merely asked if AIBU? :-)