To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

[phonemouse]

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

People that boast that they have days of annual leave and no time to take it , oh no manager is insisting I take my 2 weeks in January. I love my job but if you rather be at work than actually on holiday it’s very sad .
I once worked with someone who had strange boasts 1 was her dc was potty trained at 3 months . Another was I’ve been eating raw sausages all my life 🤮.
another colleague ( yes I’ve had a few strange ones ) would go on and on about how big her grandson was first it was he’s very big baby the midwife couldn’t believe how big he was he was like 9lb or something yes big but I’ve had 2 dc 9lb + babies it’s not unusual. Then it was how she couldn’t find clothes to fit this enormous child . I’ve seen pictures yes big for his age but not the giant she makes out .
finally people that brag that they don’t have time to watch any tv . A tv program is mentioned at work and she has to go I don’t have time to watch tv I’m far too busy , nobody was asking you love !!.

my MIL used to boast to everyone about my baby daughter having 'lovely long fingers and elegant hands; she's going to make an excellent pianist'. I don't know whether she stopped because daughter became such a wee pudge (due, of course to my exquisitely superior breast milk ) or because every time she said it I would reply with how good that was for her future rock climbing career, and how we must start her as soon as she could walk!

@Leah2005 thanks. Yep makes sense.

I’m trying to think if I’ve ever done anything boastable worthy.
I was allegedly first in my class in year one? They may have just said that to me since it was my first year in a country with a new language. I got a new dolly from it.

I tell you what I do have, phenomenal luck. I don’t mean I’ve ever won a lottery, but if I’m ever in a situation in which I should probably justifiably be murdered I usually get out of it unscathed. That, is really worth having.
Also, I am lucky enough to never really notice boasting while it’s happening so they deflate a bit or finding it really funny so it bounces off me. A lot of the stealth boasting you all mentioned I’ve had people tell me but I never twigged at the time. I do have a relative who is iller than everyone in the universe but so long as you ask her in a low voice how she’s doing you don’t actually have to listen to the symptoms. They will only change by the next time you see her anyway

Someone I know well is obsessed with noses 🤣 ( she's saving for a nose job as her is not to her taste).
She says I should be happy I've got a lovely nose even though I'm a little chubby everywhere else 🤔.
She's even asked if she can photograph my nose close up to show her surgeon what she wants!
So in a nutshell she thinks I'm a fatty with a nice nose 🤣😂🤣

You self certify for up to 7 days. Most if not all GPs will refuse to give a fit note for a short period of less than 7 days.

The "I never-ever berate my children" credo from one of my sisters. No, but you get your knickers in a twist every time someone points out you're raising absolutely intollerable weirdos.

Are you the real Stacey Solomon?

This reminds me of Julia Mackenzie in Shirley Valentine. "It's marvellous what they can do with artificial fabrics these days; you'd almost think it was silk".

Relative who books half- board/all-inclusive holidays then sends long texts daily about eating in local restaurants every night with how much it cost - “Last night found a great Italian. 200 euros.”
Also tons of texts which are relentless showing off and including prices for activities.. Why not just say that they’re having a nice time?
Such tiresome bragging about stupid wasteful behaviour. Now, I simply open the texts then delete straight away.

Meow!

makes sense to ask on the same site and thread that you saw it mentioned, no? 🙄

My ex told me i thought i was really rich (I really don't) but he'd dated women before with far more money than me. It just made me laugh as he doesn't have two beans to rub together. Just so odd.

MIL about SIL (who I love) and her cat. MIL doesn't like cats (ours), but she likes SIL's cat.
MIL will tell us in wonder how SIL's cat always comes when SIL calls her and how much the cat adores SIL.
SIL is lovely but MIL needs us to know how special and amazing she is.
I do have to stop myself from saying, "well, yes, that's what pets do, MIL"
It's so hard to hold back the sarcasm.

The first time I met MIL's new partner, he said, in total seriousness, "I really am an excellent cook". Don't get me wrong, being a good cook is a great quality, but talk about bigging yourself up to perfect strangers!

Anyway, he's an average cook. Far better than me, to be fair, but not quite worthy of a Michelin star.

@CherryCokeFanatic yeah I'm posting from Abu Dhabi right now 😂

Just remembered...

I'm going back a long way, but I remember in sixth form, some twat was on his phone loudly talking about the shag he'd had the night before and how the girl was gagging for it etc etc...

And the phone rang.

Thanks and to the pp who also commiserated.

I feel better just by having a rant tbh. :)

Glad nobody told her that, or that would have been her next claim! 😂

"It may not be fun but it does denote a relatively successful career. You don’t get many call centre workers going to Paris for meetings 😂"

I travelled as an office junior. I can assure you it's nothing to be jealous of.

A school mum we know stating she and her husband have to plead with their kids not to bring the books they’re reading to the dinner table….

puhleeesssee.

Vom

@DilemmaADay oh yes boyfriend/DH boasting esp rugby players & how big they are, how you can’t miss him, how they get A LOT of attention obviously - then you meet said rugby warrior & they’re just a regular fat guy with mangled ears 🤣

Oh my god that must be amazing! Really love all your content. Will you come and sort my life out lol my house is full of clutter 😅

afraid I’m with @nadine90 on this.

When Victoria Beckham named her daughter Harper because her favourite book was ‘To kill a Mockingbird’ I knew she’d never read a book past 15 yrs old.

It’s the same old books that are used as ‘set texts’ for exams and from experience, it’s always non- readers who quote them as ‘favourites’.

and if you read, your favourite book is always never going to be on a high school syllabus.

My favourite book is To Kill a Mockingbird. I didn’t read it as school though. Everyone I know that read it as school hates it now for some reason. I think I was lucky to have read it in my 30s.

😂😂 sideshow bob! Love it! You should change your username. Thanks for making me LoL