Page 11 | To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

phonemouse · 2023-03-31T19:19:05+00:00

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

NameChangeNumber359 · 01/04/2023 07:44

Coffeetree · 31/03/2023 20:45

As a young uni student I worked as an admin for two male professors who were both up for tenure. Both insufferably pompous. One of them returned from the gym and was quickly heading off to teach. The other made snotty comments about how nice it must be to have a light research schedule with time for the gym.

The gym-going professor said, "Well I'm competitive and compulsive and so I always make time for it". And then strode off.

The other professor, realising he'd been bested, leaned out the door and called after him, "I'm compulsive tooooo"

I was trying hard not to laugh. I'm compulsive too oooo!

🤣 They weren't called Fraser and Niles by any chance, were they?

LiliLil · 01/04/2023 07:46

ricketybeauty · 31/03/2023 22:20

@LiliLil hope you’re happy with a silver medal 😂11lb 7oz over here!! I mean, over 11lb has to be worth mentioning, right?

Oooh you deserve that Gold!! 😂

Georgieporgie29 · 01/04/2023 07:47

I had the opposite with baby weight. My DS was bigger than average (not massively so, I can see that now), however, the shocked faces when you told them what he weighed, especially from my neighbour who only had dainty babies, as did her daughters and couldn’t believe how big my son was. I was so anxious with my second child that they would be bigger.

as a side note, I have just ordered some trainers from Nike and their kids ones went up to a size 6 🎉

NotQuiteUsual · 01/04/2023 07:51

I have definitely bragged about being average height. But in my defense it is a very useful trait when dealing with people who want to brag about height. I am the perfect yardstick to measure height against. Taller than me means you're tall, shorter than me means you're short. End of conversation, I win.

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 07:53

Can't quote a quoted post- however Tesco girls' school shoes go up to size 6.

gettingolderandgrumpier · 01/04/2023 07:56

I know someone who’s a people pleaser it’s irritating at times , like one day it was a little frosty but sunny and she asked if I had to defrost my car I said no as it was sunny so cleared . I hadn’t boasted or anything it was just mentioned she replied oh you’re so lucky . Oh yes I do think that I’m a lucky person the sun saved me 2 minutes of defrosting. It just mshrs me cringe sometimes.

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 07:57

PogoThePunk · 01/04/2023 01:00

I used to work with a man who bought ( on credit ) a brand new jaguar car.
Now most people would say something like they've had to park in the next street, or they had to park the car in the bottom car park.
With him it was ' I had to park the Jag in the next street ' or ' I drove the Jag to blah and it purred down the motorway ' etc.
He had to insert ' the jag ' into everything.
How we laughed when it was repossessed from the car park at work because he'd failed his repayments 😂

I get that he sounds like a bore, but you laughed at his financial misfortune and embarrassment?
Wow.

CarrieMoonbeams · 01/04/2023 08:02

girlmuma · 31/03/2023 22:29

A colleague at work boasting, 'I just have to look at my husband and I'm pregnant'. Just sounded weird.

Surely the only response to that is "Why, are you cock-eyed?"

AutumnalLeaves38 · 01/04/2023 08:04

CarrieMoonbeams · 01/04/2023 08:02

Surely the only response to that is "Why, are you cock-eyed?"

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GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 08:04

BlackFlyChardonnay · 01/04/2023 07:05

If the topic of weddings, dress size, weight, diet, models, beautiful women, or people being in love comes up, then mil will without doubt pipe up with "I had a 24 inch waist on my wedding day!"

It's so random. She hasn't actually been slim since she had her first child, approximately 1 year after the wedding. She is now a size 20 and is happy with how she looks, so doesnt even say it in a wistful way. She just seems to think her waist size 42 years ago is a massive achievement worthy of public celebration 🤣

How does this harm you?
Would you be a scathing if this was your mother?
I do hope, when you are a MIL, if you're ever lucky enough to be one, that you never ever happily reminisce of days gone by. As that would make you a horrible hypocrite, now wouldn't it?

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 08:06

None of you can see the irony can you?
I hate the boasts of people who HATE people even DARING to make a comment about themselves as it's SUCH a BOAST...
And of course it's turned into MIL bashing...

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 08:07

I mentioned this on the competitive, performative undereating thread. I have a few in my family. One went to stay with another. I heard from a bemused husband the next day how one had made a big show about how she eats only one Weetabix for breakfast, prompting the other one to make a big show about how she doesn't even eat one and cut hers up, prompting more cutting. End result was a pile of pulverised Weetabix powder and he sent me the pic.

Phos · 01/04/2023 08:10

I've probably heard worse but my MIL is absolutely desperate to be an introvert. She tells everyone she can what an introvert she is.

This is someone who voluntarily performs on stage, talks to everyone and generally also loves being the centre of attention. Yet being an introvert seems to be seen as the cool thing to be, in her eyes.

Snappyfrog · 01/04/2023 08:15

ChristmasCakeAndGin · 31/03/2023 23:46

People who always say "my team" so that you know that they're the boss!

Just seen one on Instagram - out at X with my new team!

Oh no I’d say this! And I’m not the head of department just call my work colleagues my team as that’s what we are, a team! I think everyone in my company does this….didn’t realise it could be perceived as boasting. Wrongful boasting at that!

whitebreadjamsandwich · 01/04/2023 08:17

Car seats. People boasting their babies were 'too big' for their infant carrier at 9 months/12 months and saying how grown up there were now they were in forward facing seat.

Yes, your baby is a chunky wee thing, but that doesn't magically make their necks strong enough to withstand the force of a crash you f*cking idiot.

ricketybeauty · 01/04/2023 08:20

@LiliLil well apparently I don’t even! @Kingsize id definitely not speak to you ever again in real life if I knew you.

Though if it wins me any extra points and in the spirit of the thread “I’m TINY, I’m so TINY!!!”

Coffeetree · 01/04/2023 08:21

That show just nails that kind of cartoonishly pompous losers.

ExpatInSlavikLand · 01/04/2023 08:25

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 08:06

None of you can see the irony can you?
I hate the boasts of people who HATE people even DARING to make a comment about themselves as it's SUCH a BOAST...
And of course it's turned into MIL bashing...

Jesus. You have some issues...

boobot1 · 01/04/2023 08:27

LiliLil · 31/03/2023 22:16

Me too. Mine was 11lb 1oz, I want a fucking medal

Show quote history

😲 yes you definately deserve a medal, that hurt just reading it!

MissingMoominMamma · 01/04/2023 08:29

Soproudoflionesses · 31/03/2023 23:31

Yep - Mary is usually given to the one they don't trust to say anything!

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I know this because DD was Mary three years running! 😂

SkaneTos · 01/04/2023 08:46

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/03/2023 20:45

A friend who claims they never watch TV every time we speak - "I'd be perfectly happy if we didn't have a television..." - as it's somehow awful to do so.

10 minutes later she's talking about the programmes they've watched recently.

I agree!
It is also annoying when people boast about how they "don't have a TV", or that they "never watch TV", and what they mean is that they don't watch it in the older sense, watching programmes on an actual big television.
But then they spend all night watching Netflix on their smartphone or tablet.

JustDanceAddict · 01/04/2023 08:47

JamSandle · 31/03/2023 22:44

I always complain about having skinny wrists but it's because i really cannot wear most bracelets 🤣

Me too- I can’t wear bracelets either!!!

pictoosh · 01/04/2023 08:49

Phos · 01/04/2023 08:10

I've probably heard worse but my MIL is absolutely desperate to be an introvert. She tells everyone she can what an introvert she is.

This is someone who voluntarily performs on stage, talks to everyone and generally also loves being the centre of attention. Yet being an introvert seems to be seen as the cool thing to be, in her eyes.

I have a colleague like this...she's young (25) and by god the self obsession is strong. SUCH a meek little frightened introverted rabbit but it's all eyes and ears on me please.
I spend a lot of time ignoring her and gritting my teeth.

Maybebabyno2 · 01/04/2023 08:50

Oysterbabe · 31/03/2023 20:25

When people boast about how much they can drink.
Erm... well done?

To be fair, I can smash down an impressive amount of ice cold diet coke 🤣🤣

sashh · 01/04/2023 08:51

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 07:53

Can't quote a quoted post- however Tesco girls' school shoes go up to size 6.

But you pay VAT on size 6, that's HMRC.

On 'the jag' I was once admitted to hospital as an emergency and I was moved about while they found a bed.

For a time I was on a trolley with people who had been to A and E and were going home. By this time it was about 2 am.

At the other side of the curtain was an elderly lady with her daughter. Elderly lady kept asking where son in law was, and DD kept talking about the Audi, he's had to take their other car home to bring the Audi, the Audi mum on and on as if it was a bloody TARDIS.