How would you feel if your dad was dating someone younger than you?

[fridayyayyy]

Question is in the title. Would you disown him?

Not sure if I should post or not. My DH is 20 years older and has a daughter 18 months older than me. He was a teenage Dad. I was 29 when we married and we've been married 18 years. We have a tween daughter. He was going through divorce when we met. His elder dd was adult at the time extenuating circumstances mean DH and his elder daughter no longer have a relationship but they did until our daughter came along many years after we were married.

It really does, especially when I watch my DM (his 1st wife) struggling to live on nothing but her state pension because she stayed at home to bring up myself and my DSis whilst his career took off and we were constantly moving due to his promotions so my DM was never able to keep a job for long.

At his funeral I couldn't even look the woman in the eye let alone speak to her!

My dad (in his 60s) tried dabbling in online dating, and was horrified by the idea of a large age gap. He looked only for women his own age or slightly younger. He's a gentlemanly type though, and would have felt like an embarrassing and pathetic old perv with someone significantly younger. I suspect he's in the minority.

If it fits the ‘old perv’ model then I’d be embarrassed and nauseated.

Disown, no.

find it very disturbing, yes.

This happened to my friend, she pursed her lips & still loved her dad (and her resulting little sister).

My dad is dating someone just a couple of years older than I am. It sounded odd at first but somehow they are really good together and the age difference isn't so noticeable. She approached him first so there was nothing predatory about it. They are both very happy so I am happy for them both and I get on with her really well- its been ten years now so they are certainly serious about it!

Well my Dad is nearly 81and I'm nearly 50 my mum is also nearly 81and they are still very much together so obviously it would be very weird

Eugh, wouldn't be able for it.

I wouldn't announce, manifesto style, that I couldn't handle it, but I would backbaway crossing my fingers that it didn't work out.

That he’s a creep

My dad got re-married when I was in my early 30s to a woman who was 3 years older than me. In all honesty, i felt repulsed. He was 58 at the time (he passed away not long after and everything went to the new wife - not that I’m bitter or anything 🤔)

My Dad passed a few years ago. If there is an afterlife and he is up there dating someone younger🙂, good luck to him.

I think an age gap of above about 15 years is often predatory or exploitative on some level. It doesn't look that way from inside the relationship but looking back... yeah, not a good look.

If DF did this I would think it was a bit pathetic, but people are free to pursue their own silly attempts at happiness so I guess I would try to ignore it.

DF dated someone a bit older than me, but to be fair she acted and looked older. It faded out after a year or so.

As @Greensleevevssnotnose alluded to provided they are free to pursue a relationship it's up to them.

In my family we have a number of relationships with 10 to 30 years difference with both male and female being older. And they all seem happy, more so than many friends with little gap. Often they've met through shared interests.

Why would you call her the OW?

Bleuuuggghhhhhneeeearrrryucccchhh pretty much covers my answer to that question.

This has to be a wind up.

None of your business. He can date who he likes.
If you disown your dad you will lose out won't you. You won't have a dad.

The usual mumsnet age bashers out in force again.

Depends on how old you are tbh and how much younger than you, but either way I wouldn't be impressed.

This has to be a wind up.

None of your business. He can date who he likes.
If you disown your dad you will lose out won't you. You won't have a dad.

The usual mumsnet age bashers out in force again.

@BotherThat
Similar experience. There should be a support group for people like us...

Many say they would disown their father, but they won't unless he cuts them out of his will. The feigned horror would be overcome by greed. It's the fear of daddy remarrying and the daughter's share of the estate being reduced that triggers the horror.

I would feel like it's none of my business, let him batter on and be kind

This was my dad’s situation.
His wife (of nearly 20 years) is younger than my dads youngest.

She has saved him. The best thing that ever happened to him. I adore her. Everyone adores her.
They had 2 kids who are lovely.

He would be a dead alcoholic now if it were not for her.

I actually enjoy his company and quite like him now because he was a fucking awful dad to us. He is a real, proper, loving dad to his kids.

It makes me very happy.

Depends on the ages, I’m 54, my father is 74. I can’t imagine disowning him if he dated a 52 year old

however if I was 19 and he was 39 and dated a 17 year old. Then yes. Clearly