Children choosing teams at school

[sunflowerdaisyrose]

What do you think of this?

One of mine has come home upset about children picking teams in PE at school, I didn't know they still did that. It wasn't that she was chosen last but was chosen on a team with her bully in it so refused to take part and therefore was told off (she's 9)

To me I think the staff should choose teams bit to ensure fairly even teams, not provoking an inflammatory situation and destroying self esteem for those chosen last week after week.

AIBU?

Three different issues here.

1. Schools letting kids pick teams in popularity order. That’s old-fashioned and humiliating and I’d ask that the school stop doing it.
2. Your child feeling so threatened by a bully that your child is unable to play on the same PE team as her. This needs sorting: either the school/parents find a way to end the bullying, or one of the children needs to leave the school. Having the children in the same class but unable to be near each other is not sustainable for long.
3. Your child refusing to follow the teacher’s instruction. That is a disciplinary issue for you to discuss with your child: your child isn’t entitled to disobey the teacher just because your child is on the same team as a bully

Agree with all of this.

The idea that two children should be kept away from each other indefinitely is impractical at best and there will be times it affects the rest of the class (eg. If they can't be on the same team, can they play on opposite teams, but if they're on opposite teams can they be in the same game, if they can't be in the same game at all then the PE lesson has to be redesigned so that two pupils aren't close to each other, which isn't a justifiable curriculum decision. 28 other children shouldn't have their learning dictated because of an ongoing issue with 2 children.

Are they still doing this?

Ye Gods, I thought they would have stopped it by now. It's a bullies' charter and they get away with it in full view of the teachers as well.

I used to be a primary PE teacher. The only time I've ever seen this done is at break time led by the children themselves and even then we discouraged it. Teams were mostly made by school houses, or I made them fairly for the class if house teams were unfair.

That said, I did occasionally have children put themselves in groups of 2-5. There was sometimes someone left out (who I then placed in an appropriate group). It's unfortunate, but it is a part of life and I did make a point of always saying to choose a partner or teammate that you haven't worked with before.

Takes me back to my own schooldays. I would have hoped things had improved but it seems not to be the case.

The issue is hand, isn't how the team was picked.

(Addressing that separate issue, it's better to do the 1,2,1,2 method for all the reasons given)

OP's child ended up on a team with a bully so refused to participate. There could be a few factors to consider: what is the bully guilty of, severe bullying, aged 9, or do the girls simply not get on (which is actually fine) and everything gets called bullying now. Are the school purposefully keeping them apart in every other situation? Is this of their own decision, or to placate a parent's complaint?

At 9, you don't get to determine what you do in a lesson because you don't like the people near you. It varies greatly depending on DD being upset and asking to be put on another team, which could have been quickly rectified by the teacher.... Or a more "I'm not playing if Sarah is on my team," and having a standoff with the teacher, arms folded.

Lots of variables here.

Bloody hell, I really thought this archaic and horrendous "method of teaching" was almost gone. Maybe not. It really should be banned.

As one of those who was unfailingly amongst the last two to be picked, I clearly remember the feelings of humiliation and worthlessness it caused. That was in the late seventies and early eighties.

The bullying of your daughter is another issue, but her being expected to work with her bully on the same sports team just cannot be helpful. Good for her for her refusal to participate because obviously this teacher has not taken the issue seriously.

I would consider having a conversation with the teacher and possibly also with the Head of Year.

My question was purely is the way the choosing of teams was done appropriately in most people's opinions and it seems IANBU there. She isn't picked last as she's sporty and does have friends, but my heart breaks for those who always are.

She is being bullied by this girl, my daughter is not bullying her. School agree. We are very close to moving her to a new school - I don't see why she should move really but I think it could be our only option. Glad it's Easter so she has a break from it!

No wonder, the Govt desperately wants to get the old people back into the workplace.!!!!

PE is for everyone. Not just future sports leaders. Un sporty kids have no choice but to participate. The sports leaders of the future can learn to be super competitive at non compulsory clubs.
Future leaders in other disciplines also need to learn about valuing everyone's different contributions & talents. Exercise is important for all bodies. Not just those with sporting gifts.

Of course she shouldn't be expected to be on a team with her bully.

Surely it's worse to play against her bully? More chance of shit happening.

That seems obvious to me. Maybe I'm missing something.

I think PE has far too much emphasis on team sports, which are pointless if you can't throw/catch/hit a ball. It should focus on personal health and fitness. I was great at swimming but because my PE teachers never saw it, I was deemed rubbish at sports.

In my thirties i discovered weights and strength training. I wish we'd done that in PE! Would have been far more beneficial than shivering in wing defence (or whatever the fuck it was) once a week.

Yep, nail on head! Fully agree.

Never liked the picking teams thing but the bigger issue is the bully, is it resolved, apologies etc? If so then your daughter needs to accept and move on, we all have to do things we would rather not, if it's in resolved then the school needs to take action

Good on your daughter for standing her ground, PE is a great time for bullies to get physical on the sly. You wouldn't believe how many times that bitch Lisa "accidentally" bounced a netball off my sore-from-developing breasts, shoved me and scratched me.

I have read the entire thread because my wifi dropped off in the middle but a few points:

PP have made comments about 'the PE teacher' if the OP's DD is 9 it will most likely be the class teacher. Most primaries don't have specialist PE teachers.

Having the bully in the same team is no worse than having her on the other team and is probably better as she is less likely to be targeted.

She can't just refuse to do what she's told in school. The bullying needs investigating but she wouldn't just refuse to be in the same room, surely, so PE is no different.

I hated PE all the way through school and was never a top pick for teams. I hated it but I can't say I was traumatised for life although I never chose teams that way as a teacher myself. There are many better ways.

It's a specialist PE teacher. Small teams of 6ish so they weren't all playing each other - I haven't pushed but imagine in bigger teams it's not such an issue. This PE issue hasn't come up before and it was her who told me, not school, I believe it was resolved fast and she joined in.

I know I'm not being unreasonable about the bullying, it's just what happened on Friday brought up the fact they're choosing teams in PE in that way which seems outdated and unfair to many children (not mine specifically).

I agree op. PE should be about learning sports skills and fitness. It should not be about humiliation.