To share my family's quirks?

[CrayfordCatford]

My Dad called a jigsaw a crossword.

He also called Sainsbury's 'Salisbury's'. A very earnest expression was worn by him when he referred to said supermarket as 'Salisbury's'

"I want to go to Salisbury's!"

As the OP is talking about her father in the past tense I get the impression that he’s not around any more.
OP we have loads of things as a family that we say ‘wrong’. It usually starts with someone making a mistake and then it sticks. For example vegetables are called ‘benchtables’ in our house as that’s what DD2 used to call them.

Oh I’m sorry OP. I’ll report my comment as it’s not very sensitive.

DTGSs love going on the "bounceline" at gymnastics, DM's predictive text always changed okey dokey to pokey foley for some reason so it's pokey foley for everyone now 🤣

Yeah we have wuffs instead of wolves in our house and noozes instead of snoozes.

My dad calls most things the do-dah or imitates the sound they make ie a spray deodorant is called a "tsst"

Spaghetti Bolognaise will always be Sketty Mince here, DD1 couldn't say Spaghetti, always called it Sketty. We never actually use spaghetti, always pasta, but it's still Sketty Mince.

Slippers will always be Ipps.

Child of the 70's - we called Benson & Hedges (which my mother smoked) Hedges and Bedges and elephants have always been Tytollies for some reason lost in time

remote control will always be the diddler in this family.

I notice this more in DH's family than my own, although I'm sure my family have them too. 'Slither' instead of 'sliver', 'saunder' instead of 'saunter'. There are more but I can't think of them right now.

Similar, I was sent to the corner shop from age 6 to buy 20 S'nedges for my Dad

Just thought of another - FIL calls his hips his 'nibblies', so instead of 'Ow my hips hurt' when he stands up, it's 'Oooh my nibblies'. I thought he was talking about his nuts a first, which made me a bit 😳

DH's family also all say 'poofers' as an exclamation/expression of dislike which confused me.

I thought they were always called didgeridoos??

My Nan would call KFC the KGB.

My Mum used to say lilac as lie-lac with extra emphasis on both syllables, perhaps like something from Gone with the Wind? I don't know where it came from. I don't think she knew where it came from.

She only realised that she did it all the time when the word somehow came up in work and work colleagues said how odd her pronunciation was.

At home we accepted it was a joke...and we never questioned where it came from or why it wasn't actually at all funny. It was just something that had to be said that way and then everyone would give a little chuckle.

Doofer here

Doofer here

Hoofer, in my house.

Popples (apples) Lemon Tape (sellotape) Bind (cheese?) Dancing Naurs (dinosaurs) they're just off the top of my head for words that my brood has got wrong & they've stuck!
I never understood why my Nans used to say mort-gage & plarster when they were northern..

Cokey froley for any kind of cola, jammies for pyjamas, mahto for tomato ketchup, barfy barfy for bath, wart warts for water ( thank eldest child for both of those).

And the remote is the dooberry...

We use lickers for cows, tilly room for utility & the tv remote is a pinger. 🤷🏼‍♀️

K-neever for knife
Dig-ger - Steve-ver for digestive (biscuits)

Both following Swedish students I met at uni, and that’s how they pronounced them. Ie. Literally how they are spelt.

We also say slither, there's a restaurant near us that does a mini dessert and coffee and describes it (through many menu reprintings) as a "slither of tiramisu and coffee of your choice"

And we also use kernife 😅

A friend when she first moved to Englandv and lived with some people who every time she said knife (correctly) they told her that you pronounce the K, and even years later every time she said knife she said ker... er... knife

Both wrong; they’re called telemotes!

Cranberry sauce will always be called “chicken jam” in our house, thanks to DD.