To share my family's quirks?

[CrayfordCatford]

My Dad called a jigsaw a crossword.

He also called Sainsbury's 'Salisbury's'. A very earnest expression was worn by him when he referred to said supermarket as 'Salisbury's'

"I want to go to Salisbury's!"

Kernife for knife and hoofer dooder for remote here too. I know there's more but I can't think of any!

DH also loves to take the mick as I refer to the petrol station as the petrol garage 😁

My dad called the remote control 'the buttons'
DD called the trampoline 'the badum-badum' because it made that kind of noise when you jumped on it in the rain.

We have "ouchy-aaaaaah" (pointing finger in mouth at tonsils when saying the aaaaah) courtesy of DD aged 2, for being sick.

Also according to DD, a large amount of something is a "big one" ie "big one bowl of cereal please", a lesser amount, say half a bowl, is "tiny", but a very very small amount, is "big one tiny."

DD recently gulped her juice, jumped about too much and did that thing where you bring a little bit back up in your mouth. Then announced she'd had a "big one tiny ouchy-aaaaaah"

Knife - KerNif
Scissors - skissors
Spider - spiddick
Tescos - Teskies
Dishwasher - Dish wish
Tumble dryer - Tumblydries
Mojito - Mo Jai toe
Wine - weeene
Remote control - buttons

There's probably more but I can't think of them right now!

The bureau de change is the weasel shop.

My mum used to say sambwich.

In her last few years, every time she dunked a biscuit, she said 'risk it for a biscuit.' I think I'm going to turn into her.

'Ker-Nives and ker-forks' - only as a phrase though as ker-forks on its own would be silly 🙃
Stainsburys
Tes-cos
Wishdasher
Bargain Madness for b and m
Q and B
Smugs for WHSmith
Botts for boots
DH used to refer to Three hard willies for freeman hardy Willis
DD said the queen as called Brenda when asked in reception- that's DH from Private Eye
Always call them 'fucking bin bags' in a Scottish accent after watching Shallow Grave
I'm sure there's other stuff but just seems so normal it's hard to remember

We say scuba not Uber
Wishwasher
Announce that you are a weebag or call someone else a weebag when going to the loo

My mum calls the George Foreman grill her George Michael 😅

Dd1 calls her nostrils snotrils, so now we all do. Dd2 calls unicorns pinpons. We call our dog Roy, his name is Henry so Henroy now shortened to Roy.

Aww... I like that one! 💛🤣

My daughter aged about 2/3 was helping sort washing. She lifted a bra and announced”” “oh, mummy’s boob sock!”. Bras will always be boob socks to me now.

My niece calls her trampoline a jumpoline which makes more sense.

@BebbanburgIsMine if you're not from Swansea you wouldn't know that Sketty is about 2 miles from the city centre.

My kids wouldn't eat lasagne when they were little but would eat flat pasta and still call it that

Anything dropped on the floor unless dangerous eg dog could eat it, needs to be waved goodbye to before you pick it up

When I was a kid my brother wouldn't eat stew but if mum made a beef casserole it was fine

Father Christmas has been Farmer Chippas here for 28 years.

My partner's aunt would remark on a pleasant day trip somewhere as being 'very adjacent'.

We carry on the tradition and regularly comment on how very adjacent somewhere has been.

the bits at the back of your knees are your kneepits, the remote controls are (respectively) the bigger-er and the littlie. The local shop which we could never remember the name of (something like, In Here, or Outdoors, or Out There) became Up Yours.

The remote control is....the flicker
Marks and Spencers is....Marks and Sparks
McDonald's is ....McDoodles
Meadowhall (massive shopping centre) is.....MeadowHell, or MurderHall.....makes more sense if your from up these parts lol.
For some reason, the annoying neighbours across from us were called the pigwins.....😂😂

We used tilly room in my old family home.

Marks and Spencers is....Marks and Sparks

Um, their loyalty card is called a Sparks Card because this is the exact opposite of a family quirk.

It's the box at ours!

Meadowhall is known as Muddyhell in our household. Thanks to DS, then aged 2, hard boiled eggs are "cold hard eggs cut across" and binoculars are "binoculusses".

Don't be silly. They're verticals

Both my parents hide the menu from the box of assorted chocolates, so it's always a 'surprise' whether you get a delicious one or the flavour you absolutely can't stand and end up spitting out in the bin. As a kid I found this unfair, but now I think it's actually bizarre, so take great satisfaction in carefully perusing my boxes and pointedly choosing a specific chocolate... I'm clearly still resentful.

Costcutters was cock suckers