To just ask for really lovely ADHD success stories

[CallMeMousie]

I know IABU really but my mind is all over the place with What Ifs and worst case scenarios. DS (8) just got diagnosed with ADHD. He's quirky, funny and smart but really falling behind at school and struggling with a lot of things.

AIBU to just ask for really lovely uplifting stories about people or DC with ADHD who have done really well? Or who started medication (currently trying to decide) and whose lives became magically better?

ADHD family here, myself and my three children. Two girls in mainstream school and I'm at uni alongside completing a part time uni course.
DS1 who was the first diagnosed found life very difficult before his diagnosis but once he had his diagnosis we were able to fight and support him with skills and support to have a nice life. He's now 18 and has been successfully medicated for about 9 years. Remained in mainstream school throughout in education, smashed his GCSEs, about to finish a college course and get his a levels, has held down a little job for 2 years. Has a small circle of friends. He's funny and quirky, caring and empathetic.
My adhd makes me amazing at my job and lots of my colleagues tell me this regularly.
ADHD has a bad wrap but it's not all bad

ADHD family here too

I have ADHD, successful career here because it captures my attention and keeps me on a constant dopamine high (that's the key along with supportive Management who understand ADHD)

My son (6) has ADHD, struggles in school with behaviour.... well, personally I think its school who struggle to understand that being made to sit still for long periods is shit. He flourishes when he is doing something he finds interesting.

Yes, it can be frustrating, especially when our sensory needs conflict, but we just really bounce off each other.

Very excited to see how his life unfolds as he is so exciting to be around

All 3 of my children have ADHD. They are also bright, well mannered, interesting kids who make my life an absolute joy. Eldest is exceptionally clever but struggles a little with big social groups. He is the one who struggled the most with disregulation and overwhelm. However with school supports in place a lot of this disappeared and I realised it was more of a stress response of trying to 'manage' without any guidance or self awareness. Early assessment for my other two and the benefits of our parenting changes meant the other two didn't have the same emotional frustrations, although school is a bit trickier as they are also dyslexic. Still doing well though.
With 3 kids with ADHD, it's very likely one or both of us are ADHD but we are both degree educated engineers with very good jobs and strong, long lasting relationships. We've had tough times, especially early on when finding our way. However, I have very high hopes for my lot. They like themselves and each other. They know their strengths and have learned to manage their difficulties with out any shame. I spend every day in awe of my funny, empathetic, creative thinkers.
Try to get school support, join a support group. It's tough but not all doom & gloom.

My son has very severe adhd and he can only function with taking his meds - he has tried without and everything goes wrong - he could be violent and incredibly disruptive and was expelled from school at 15 when he last decided not to take his meds . Got no GCSEs

However, he restarted his meds, went to college . Worked his way up through all the qualifications needed and is now a teacher himself . He wanted to try and put right what was missing in his own school education . The knowledge and experience of his own adhd enables him to be more understanding of others - just a shame his own teachers weren’t like that !

I have adhd. Undiagnosed until middle age. I did well in education, studied at Cambridge, went on to do a masters degree and am now a CEO. I won't lie, it has been fucking hard and my adhd has created obstacles at every step of the way. On the other hand, my adhd has given me some advantages as well, for which I am duly grateful.

Oh wow. Already sobbing on the sofa. Such positive stories and they give me so much hope. Thank you all so much for sharing!

My 13 year old. :) ASD and ADHD diagnosed when 11. I was SO reluctant to use medication but our lovely psychiatrist just said we could always stop again if it did not work.

It has worked brilliantly. he is calmer. happier. More relaxed. Fewer meltdowns. It is like the medication has helped unmask the person he always was meant to be. His grades have gone up. He is more able to cope with life generally.

I was scared of trying meds. But for us it worked. Like I said- the psych said we could stop again or change or just see how it goes. Nothing needs to be set in stone.

Ds is 11. Started taking meds at 8 and it was a revelation.
He's achieving at school. Has friends. Is happy.
Have you asked your son what he thinks? That's what changed my mind (I was very reluctant). He said that he wanted to try them because it would be nice to be able to concentrate.
Ask your son x

I also have a funny, quirky ADHD child. He was diagnosed 2yrs ago and is medicated. He also takes a morning coffee and cbd oil. He succeeds in subjects that interest him. At the moment that is science and history. Remind your son that he is good at something he just needs to find what that is. My son reads historical novels (his main interest is WW I and II). He loves to tell me random facts he’s picked up about all sorts of things. he also had anxiety so i'll get random texts from him like last night "don't let water go up your nose when swimming"

I do worry about his future but he will find a way. Currently interested in becoming a lawyer.

Another late diagnosis here with an Oxbridge degree and a professional career. I wish I’d known earlier as it has been hell at times but I’m here to tell the tale. I could have made a lot more of my job if I’d known and avoided a lot of prolonged spells of what I now know to be burnout.

Son was undiagnosed until 17. Medication had an immediate effect. Had struggled all through school with concentration and delivery - never got into big trouble but was always always the one who hadn’t done homework. Went from predicted poor grades at A Level to A stars, and is on course for a first class degree now.

@CallMeMousie

As you can see lots of children, young people and adults with ADHD do very well.
The thing about medication- maybe think of it like this.
We give babies and young children Calpol, if your child was asthmatic you would get the inhaler, if they had diabetes you would want the insulin etc etc.

If we have no issues about medicine for all of this, why would we not want it for ADHD

I'm in my 40s. Friend with ADHD has a degree, a masters, is working for a PhD and works in scientific research.

Oh my goodness this hits hard. We always say if he could just tap into himself when he is happy and calm and focused all the time he would be unstoppable! So good to hear your DS is doing so well.

My DS was diagnosed as a student. He was really struggling. He took a year out, got his act together, got on medication and graduated with a 2:1 in engineering. I am really proud of him. Don't lose hope.

You are right we need to talk to him. I just want to get it straight in my head first so we can support him properly when we explain it to him. It's so useful to read all these positive stories and see what a difference medication can make. I'm so grateful to everyone for taking time to reply.

late dx at 50 and absolutley heartbroken and racked with guilt as I just missed the opportunity to tell my late father

Its now my super power with the hyper focus and stability that the meds have given me
Tell myself that today is going to be amazing on the way to work every day now

I'm undiagnosed but now understand myself more. Wish I'd known was I was 12.. DD diagnosed at 12. She chose meds. Grades & sets improved within weeks

I’m in my 40s, late diagnosis of inattentive type ADHD - wish I had known earlier as would have done a lot differently. Namely accepting part time working may be my limit to do things well in short bursts.

I have ADHD - diagnosed in my early 30s with textbook inattentive type. I was assessed for loads of things when I was a child and yet none of the assessments ever picked up ADHD. Pre-diagnosis I managed to get a 2:1 from Oxbridge and a 6 figure job, so it definitely didn't hold me back too much.

If anything, I think it's been a net positive in my life. I'm not afraid of taking risks or disrupting the status quo. I thrive on new experiences and change, which just means that naturally I've had a really interesting life so far. ADHD has been called "the explorer gene" and that's absolutely accurate for me.

I'm medicated now (although not right now because I'm pregnant) and I found it makes my mind so much clearer - I'm more efficient and get things done so much faster. It also helps me get systems in place so I don't have to take my medication every day.

Ds1 diagnosed at 6 couldn't bring myself to start medication until 8. Medication was the best thing. He went from bottom of his class to near top. Actually starting enjoying being with him rather than managing his behaviour all the time. He made more friends. Life just got a bit simpler. He loves sports now in high school and is getting on well.
Medication journey can be scary with side effects but iv found after 6months things settle down more, you adapt eating pattern that fits around their Medication.

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago and am in my early 30s. Didn't do well at primary school where I was hugely overlooked by teachers but blossomed in secondary school where teachers noticed my interests and encouraged me in them. Turns out I didn't need much to help me along and was a high performing student by the time I reached my gcses. I'm now considering starting a PhD, but I also have a well paid corporate career.

Some things which I believe are key:

• Learning what motivates people with adhd. People with the condition are generally motivated differently to neurotypicals.

- confidence building: extra support where something is proving more difficult (eg tuition in a subject one is struggling with or management techniques for things like time keeping and prioritisation) - not making it a "thing". I don't think centering it in your life is helpful. Teach self sufficiency and management techniques without a constant litany of "this is because of adhd". This doesn't mean ignoring it of course (see above) but it shouldn't be a person's identity. There's a difference between consciously living with it and make it the forefront of one's life.

Our consultant told us a lot of kids grow out of it. I've mentioned that on here before and some people don't like to hear it but if you look at the research its true.

DC are in a much better place than they were a few years ago despite not being medicated. I wouldn't hesitate to use the meds though as Ive heard so many positive reports.

A lot of people (incl me) in my high profile professional firm are high flyers with ADHD (and AuDHd), many Oxbridge educated etc. It’s hard especially if undiagnosed but it isn’t a barrier to succeeding and we have many traits that are valued, like hyperfocus etc. The biggest limiting thing is RSD/self-esteem imho.

DD has diagnosed ADHD and starting medication is the best thing we could do for her. It's a shame stigma surrounds medication as it's just a tool to help your child cope. Ours is far happier and comes home having enjoyed school now.

RSD is definitely what’s harmed me most. OP, do read up on that as it’s very common in people with RSD and often misdiagnosed.