To just ask for really lovely ADHD success stories

[CallMeMousie]

I know IABU really but my mind is all over the place with What Ifs and worst case scenarios. DS (8) just got diagnosed with ADHD. He's quirky, funny and smart but really falling behind at school and struggling with a lot of things.

AIBU to just ask for really lovely uplifting stories about people or DC with ADHD who have done really well? Or who started medication (currently trying to decide) and whose lives became magically better?

This is an outdated view. ADHD can fluctuate but it’s now thought that most people do not grow out of it.

https://www.additudemag.com/can-children-really-outgrow-adhd/

There’s also quite a lot of attention being paid to the effect that hormonal changes have on ADHD in women, right through to menopause.

https://www.additudemag.com/women-hormones-and-adhd/

Absolutely! Me at 40 and my 74 year old mother are both very much still exhibiting symptoms…. If anything they get worse with age!

Its not outdated and has been shown by the most comprehensive and longest running studies. Including those considered conservative estimates.

Our own consultant is one of the leading authorities so I'm happy to be guided by him.

We will have to agree to differ.

I have had several books published. Was chatting to my agent about my ADHD. She said she thinks half her authors have it. I suspect she's right.

Writing a book is actually a crazy thing to do and requires a ridiculous level of obsessive focus. But weirder is the way in which some people write- there are many quirks.

Talking to some of the other authors out there- one of the weird things I do is to write a book, be completely obsessed with it for about six months, and then pretty much forget I've written it. I don't get bothered by rejections because if they come in I sometimes forget what they're referring to. I don't seem to be alone in this.

In some ways I think writing books is a coping strategy for me. I was certainly 'inattentive' at school, and it was largely daydreaming. Reorganising my world.

I know one author with a diagnosis who sold 2, 000,000 books last year (that should narrow it down a bit).

Janina Ramirez has had a recent diagnosis which she has talked about. As well as her tv and book record, she's a lecturer at Oxford.

He 100% struggles with RSD. It's been a revelation to suddenly have that lens through which to view his behaviour and to understand it better, but it is still heartbreaking to see him be so hard on himself and so easily hurt. We do all we can to listen and understand and build him up.

Thanks again to everyone who has posted, it's so heartening to hear about how people can live happy and fulfilling lives, sometimes Google can be our own worst enemy. We will ask him about meds and maybe give them a try. He's a really bright child but it just doesn't translate into achievements at school because he just can't focus on the work.

That may be the case for you personally but significant numbers do indeed grow out of it.

Its estimated that it persists anywhere from 50-80% of cases, some studies quote two thirds. If those figures are correct then a minimum of 20 perhaps even upwards to 50% grow out of it which is a substantial number worldwide. (Harvard)

@Willyoujustbequiet can you share those studies please? Everything I have read, having a diagnosis only in my late 30s, suggests otherwise. I have a wide network of neurodiverse friends and colleagues (and online buddies) and I have not heard of this.

It is a genetic neurodevelopmental disorder, how does one grow out of that?! Does the brain somehow come to need less dopamine, do the dopamine receptors become more sensitive, does the masking just reinforce itself? I am curious…

I was diagnosed a few months ago at 38. Everything in my life finally made sense. It's wonderful that your dc has been diagnosed in childhood.
My life has been immeasurably better since I started medication. It's been life changing.

My mother worked as a private remedial teacher for years and had a lot of students with ADHD. One point that certainly used to get made about medication is that it allows children to get the education they need, learn skills and mature to the point that they may be able to manage better without medication when they are older.

I suspect that targetting medication to when it is "most needed" remains important. Of course, it may not be "needed" but may still be "helpful" for a much longer time.

Me and DD. No meds but whatever works!

Happy, healthy, mostly functional. It started to work when she found playing music. It helped her focus in a healthy way, not hyper or nothing. Then schoolwork improved.

She found her neurodiverse Nerd Herd at school.

She's technically got the most severe diagnosis in her friend group but she's now the sensible rock. From a child who was pretty unmanageable when first at school.

I found a job that worked.

ADHD husband, two ADHD kids. Medication, medication, medication! Older son got diagnosed first, within two terms went from bottom to top of class. Got four A Levels at A* now doing engineering. Still struggles hugely with personal organisation but has great support from Uni and lots of coping strategies. Younger son much more hyperactive even on meds but massively creative and funny and has a school “passport” which he uses to explain when he turns up for the hundredth time without essential equipment. It may well take a while to adjust to the medication but if your child can stick with it the benefits are astonishing in my experience. Does really affect appetite though so you’ll need to keep an eye on that.

AuDHD here, on my third degree currently. It took a little while to settle, but have done fairly well for myself.

My son has ADHD. Just like your son, funny, quirky and very bright. Had a complete mental breakdown at 12 and was out of school for two years. Got him a diagnosis, medication and a place in a specialist ASD unit that was linked to a mainstream school. He is now 18, predicted straight A's in his A levels and has an unconditional offer on a place at a great university.

Hang on in there. It's a tough journey with lots of ups and downs, but the future for kids with ADHD can be very bright.

I have ADHD, I’m medicated, good degree from a very good university, I have a decent career (I’m an actuary), I played a sport fulltime professionally for quite a few years, I managed to save and buy my own home (lots of us with ADHD can manage finances) and I have two children with my husband (adopted, so I had to be approved to be a parent).

ADHD isn’t a bad thing, ADHD and not being given the tools to manage it can however be a bad thing.

DS (18) was diagnosed at 13 (finally!) He had seizures when he was a baby and they, combined with the ADHD have made his academic life a challenge. He is an incredibly hard worker, has a brother in the year above who never really had to work too hard, things came easily so I see the huge difference.

He was put on Ritalin and hated it. Made him feel sick. So decided to walk at least 10k steps a day instead. It has worked - he does not feel the need for meds and walks instead. It helps his feelings, emotions and concentration. his consultant is amazed and has never know a child decide this, but it has worked for him. At 15 he was diagnosed with Social Anxiety and was lucky enough to go on a CAMHS course that helped a lot and is fine now. He still gets wound up now and again, obvs, but controls himself really well and knows how to alleviate it. Actually he is pretty chilled and has loads of friends and a great social life.

Prob due to his seizures he has found maths v difficult - retaining info when he has no interest was hard but finally passed his Maths GCSE in year 12. Passed 5 GCSEs in year 11. And now is in his last year of A levels and is on course for great results - at least B, B, C!! This is a boy who did the 11 plus and didnt even get a score as his result was so low - now on course to ace his A levels and go to uni next year.

Proud doesnt even begin to explain how I feel.

My biggest negative impact is not understanding emotional regulation difficulties as inherent to ADHD and accepting intense emotional responses as part of having adhd (adult diagnosed but really obvious combined type to the extent the psychiatrist was surprised other doctors hadn’t diagnosed given my mental health history). I’ve had several mental health diagnoses and whilst I can’t guarantee that wouldn’t have happened I would have probably got through my degree without psychiatric admission if I’d have been diagnosed and had meds/minor accommodations. I realised when I started working in a related area and my colleague spelled it out to me. I waited another 8 years to get assessed/meds as was in the pregnancy and breastfeeding decade so waited it out but did more research into it. Meds help. My little girl is diagnosed and I’m considering meds as she is cognitively able but I struggle to keep her at expected levels without a lot of creativity and persistence and it’s just stressful. Teachers say she’s got good ideas and vocabulary etc so it’s not just me thinking it. Thankfully this years teacher thinks she’s very funny but that’s not a guarantee as she goes up the school years. Honestly I’m a little biased but I always say that intensity of emotion can be hard to manage but it’s also quite special. My daughter is my middle child and loves at 500 percent and is so creative and enthusiastic (not glossing over the support and modelling needed with emotional regulation it can be a lot but I’m so glad I understand how to do that for her).

I’m a solicitor and we had a neurodiversity education session at work a couple of weeks ago. Apparently ADHD is incredibly common in the legal profession!

Very similar stories to everyone here. Love my kids to bits but it’s a long road - so two pieces of advice( which I was given)

1. life is not a race. They will get there in the end.
2. my go to book- still relevant today ADHD the facts by Mark Selikowitz.

I knew someone with ADHD who was a partner with one of the big 4 accountancy firms. He earned a small fortune, did extreme sports for hobbies, had glamorous women on revolving door. Incapable of being in a meeting without pacing about. Brilliant, butterfly mind.

This is all so wonderful! I can't begin to tell you all how much better I feel reading this. Someone mentioned that they feel proud and I think everyone who has commented here should feel proud, whether they have thrived with ADHD or enabled their loved ones to, it's not easy but you should all be so proud of how far you have come!

Recently diagnosed - I have a successful career and happy family life. It has definitely had some detrimental impacts on my life and relationships and I think it would really have helped to have been diagnosed earlier to understand and manage the impacts. But equally I wouldn’t be me without it and I think I can attribute some really positive experiences and achievements in my life to it.

My DS is 9 diagnosed a year ago exactly. Medication has been transformational for him. Allows him to concentrate better and it's really helped his emotions/sensitivities. He's gone from playing on his own to being in a group of friends which is lovely to see.

Would highly recommend 'ADHD is our superpower' book. After his diagnosis it helped him understand what it meant and he did a show and tell about it at school. His class have been so kind and understanding about it, bless them. The book also made him see ADHD as a positive which was fantastic.

I have since been diagnosed myself and we think my father has it! I have generally had a really successful career and if anything gives me strengths others don't have.

To add a friend of mine has a grown up son who has become a specialist sniper in the army. He had severe ADHD as a child and it proves what can be achieved when someone with neurodiversity finds the right career fit.

Medication has been life changing for our daughter who has severe ADHD. We are only on week 6 but I truly believe it's saved her life.
She has been on a downward spiral of incredibly risky and impulsive behaviour for 6 months now. With love, support, medication and understanding I feel we are getting her back. She's 13 and her emotional dysregulation is improving along with her focus and ability to function.
We feel our beautiful, funny, clever girl is coming back to us.

I am a doctor and have ADHD diagnosed in my 30s. I did medicine at Oxbridge (I got a distinction) and am on track to be a consultant in a high intensity sub speciality. I got my training number in the sub speciality at competitive interview and came second in the country.

I find the appraisal paperwork we have to do really difficult but I am good at the job clinically. I can hyperfocus in emergencies and lead a resus team, and I can pick up details others have missed. I get really good feedback from colleagues - they notice I'm blunt and jump into conversation sometimes, but I think they forgive me because I have these other skills. I love my job (nearly all the time!).

I find I'm motivated to do the work at work because it's for patients. On my days off trying to do an audit project though... oh my it's dreadful!!! I can't do boring paperwork stuff at all. I have tried meds for it but have had too many side effects and haven't got round to trying a different medication. Now I'm reading all these stories I wonder if I should!

My ADHD has contributed to an exciting career but has also made life hard at times. My undergrad dissertation I got in 3 minutes before the deadline after 3 nights with no sleep.... Not very sensible.

I've namechanged as this is very outing.

Apparently rates of ADHD in Emergency Medicine and ICU doctors are sky high! It makes sense because these are the hospital specialities without outpatient clinics, the paperwork from clinics I found incredibly difficult. I do think playing to your strengths is important in getting the most from life! It's been so interesting to find out about ADHD because now I spot it around me all the time in other doctors. Often they are the doctors that I admire the most, who can think outside the box. By the way medschool teaches you nothing about ADHD (and my friend who does paediatrics says they only get incredibly superficial teaching on it or nothing at all).

I'm pretty sure my dad also has ADHD, he was also a doctor (a highly successful surgeon in a niche sub speciality).

Good luck to your son controlling his new superpower!