AIBU Teacher plays "Boo the child"!!

[BubbleBath365]

Looking for some straight-talk please. Name change here, as post possibly outing.

My child is a 10-year-old in year 6.
Her class teacher has form for being rude and has a weird sense of humour. DD happens to be in the top class for maths, where they are pushed to work hard.

Today the teacher invented a game where at the end of the class, she picked on different children to call out answers to the maths questions set. If you had not completed a question (this may be either because you did not know how to do it or because you were slow), she told the whole class to boo the child, which they did with great gusto.
2 children got booed - DD and another child, who shrugged it off. DD is a gentle, mild-mannered and well-behaved child who really tries hard at maths, as she knows she needs to work at it. DD came home in tears, but did not cry in class (of this I am glad) - she was completely thrown as she had never been booed at.

Teacher is aware that DD lacks confidence in maths and has said so to us at the term-end meeting with parents - 3 weeks ago. Why would she pick on her to answer the question?
She has humiliated DD (and others) in class before (I am speaking of academic achievement - not bad behaviour) - so there is a pattern here.

I am furious. How can this be the right way to 'teach' a child? Is this a normal 'game' to play in class?
I plan to complain to the school - to me this looks like bullying.
I have spoken to the teacher on previous occasions, but she is very convinced her 'teaching methods' are fine.

Sorry about the long post - any advice appreciated.

YANBU - go and speak to the school. This is not the right way to teach a child.
YABU - shrug and let go

very upsetting behaviour - dont bother cluttering up your email with bits from teaching standards, just a plain account of what happened and how it affected your daughter

Agree. Usually I’d say speak to the teacher first about concerns, but the senior team need to know about this. This isn’t okay.

There is research by the Education Endowment Foundation which shows that setting can have negative impact. It’s not so common practice now in primary. Perhaps in certain areas it is.

This is not at all how schools run. This is terrible, and if true, needs to be looked in to. Please don’t assume other schools/teachers are like this based on an experience with one.

What the ever loving shit is this?! Of course YANBU, complain directly to the head.

I’m sorry your daughter had to experience that, public humiliation is not a valid way to teach.
How would the teacher like it? I’d be inclined to fuck around and find out.

I was embarrassed in a similar when when I was 8. I'm in my 40s now and still remember the humiliation of the class laughing at me. They carried it on outside of the classroom for weeks too.

I'd like to have thought these sorts of teachers didn't exist any more but I've seen it since with my DD being humiliated. I ended up moving her to a different school as it was knocking her confidence so badly and school wouldn't do anything about it.

I hope you managed to see the HT this morning OP?

Why not add a dunce’s cap and do the job properly 🤬

It’s cruel and unnecessary and likely to put a child off maths for life.

I had something similar happen to me in the mid 1980's at my Grammar school - I was routinely singled out every maths lesson because this newly qualified teacher could see I was nervous and would get all tongue tied.

He would ask these trick questions and everytime I got it wrong he would shout "NO!!" then ask me more questions, and I would get shouted at again. He made me stand up whilst this was happening

I used to absolutely dread math lessons with him. His much younger cousin was in my class, she one day bought me a gift as she was so embarrassed about him.

I'm now 53 and I still think about it from time to time....

Interesting to see on Linkedin he still is in the teaching profession and still looks as miserable as he was back then 😄

@Isitthathardtobekind sorry, I know this isnt how all schools are run! The majority of teachers are kind and lovely humans, but that experience put me right off that kind of work

This goes against everything as you want to encourage as a teacher. It's important to question students on answers to gage whether the class as a while understands, whether some do and some need support or you need to go back over it. Never ever should it be used to humiliate a child it's awful and to me as a teacher the opposite of what I want to see happen

Agree this looks very much like bullying. Not acceptable at all and could be very damaging to kids. The teacher probably thinks it’s a fun way to get everyone to engage - like a panto thing - but even so, it’s never okay to humiliate a child like that.

Not OK, complain to the head.

My dd's teacher did the exact opposite. He paid particular attention to the children who were weakest at maths and celebrated if they raised their test scores from 28/100 to 35/100, for example. Before the year was out, they were all doing really well at maths.

I wrote to the Head Teacher this morning and went in to meet them. HT was shocked to hear of the incident and has said the school do not condone this. They have given me a complaints form to fill out and have said they will be speaking separately to the teacher. The HT also suggested I speak to the teacher.
I spoke to the teacher - and explained that this game had a very negative impact on DD. The teacher assured me no harm was intended and the game should have been taken in the spirit of a light-hearted joke. Apparently the atmosphere in the class was of playful goodwill, the booing was just a reflection of an "oh come on guys - get on with it!" attitude.
I said that obviously DD was affected badly enough by this joke to come home in tears and I could not understand how anyone could justify this 'game'. She has apologised for upsetting DD and said the game was not at all targeted at DD. She then said that other kids were also booed and they were fine. So I guess that makes my DD the 'sensitive' one?

The School has promised a meeting with Senior team after Easter hols. Today being the last day of term, everything was understandably chaotic.

One part of me feels I should follow through, put this on the school record, send in the complaints form and make sure nothing similar ever happens to another child again.
Another part of me feels inclined to leave this behind as all over and done with. DD is looking forward to the holidays and seems happy. I'm going to give this a long, hard think over the next few days.
Big thanks to all who sent support and advice.

@Coyoacan your DD's teacher sounds amazing

I think you need to follow it through. The teacher doesn't seem to understand the harm she has done, and seems to be laying the responsibility for not being upset by it onto the children. Just because your dd is the only one to come forward, does not mean that other children haven't internalised the message that doing badly at maths will get you publicly mocked. The teacher needs to understand that the 'game' and others like it are utterly unacceptable for all children, not just your dd. Sorry op but I would be absolutely spitting coming away from that conversation with the teacher.

Another follow through vote here x

This is awful to even read - your poor dd. It takes me back to the long-lasting pain of the yearly public humiliation of sports day - a ritual still staunchly defended here every summer term on MN.

Please complain. The next child might not comfortable speaking up.

I'd fill in the complaint form, you want it on record in case there are any future incidents. You could say in it that you just want the incident recorded because it upset your DD but no further action taken at this time, if you feel happy enough with the teacher's response/that DD is fine. But I would definitely make sure you complete the form. This is bullying, even if it's fairly gentle it's still bullying behaviour, and a teacher should not be encouraging other kids to gang up on each other, even in a light-hearted way. Children are literally killing themselves over how hard they are finding life these days (albwit generally older than your DD). Why make life more stressful for them and encourage peers to demonstrate disapproval when there's enough problems with that already in other contexts (bullying due to appearance, poverty etc etc)?

@BubbleBath365

Yes, he was/is a wonderful man.
Quite the contrary of your dd's teacher. I'm glad the HT is equally appalled. Why on earth does that teacher imagine that the fact that the children did not break down in tears in the middle of the classroom mean that they all thought it was fun?

Hope you spoke to HT bear in mind you'll never be told the outcome but any HT will be livid about this as its ridiculous humiliation that contravenes GTC (General Teaching Council) professional standards for registration.

I'd be fuming. What a horrible teacher and a shitty thing to do.

No need to apologise. I just meant if you are keen to work in schools, you should be able to find much better ones and also didn’t want you to worry for your own child. Good luck!

Definitely follow through. The teacher sees it as a joke and that it’s okay. She may have not thought it through and sounds like she thinks it’s fine, but it’s not and it has upset a child.