Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Teacher plays "Boo the child"!!

140 replies

BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 17:58

Looking for some straight-talk please. Name change here, as post possibly outing.

My child is a 10-year-old in year 6.
Her class teacher has form for being rude and has a weird sense of humour. DD happens to be in the top class for maths, where they are pushed to work hard.

Today the teacher invented a game where at the end of the class, she picked on different children to call out answers to the maths questions set. If you had not completed a question (this may be either because you did not know how to do it or because you were slow), she told the whole class to boo the child, which they did with great gusto.
2 children got booed - DD and another child, who shrugged it off. DD is a gentle, mild-mannered and well-behaved child who really tries hard at maths, as she knows she needs to work at it. DD came home in tears, but did not cry in class (of this I am glad) - she was completely thrown as she had never been booed at.

Teacher is aware that DD lacks confidence in maths and has said so to us at the term-end meeting with parents - 3 weeks ago. Why would she pick on her to answer the question?
She has humiliated DD (and others) in class before (I am speaking of academic achievement - not bad behaviour) - so there is a pattern here.

I am furious. How can this be the right way to 'teach' a child? Is this a normal 'game' to play in class?
I plan to complain to the school - to me this looks like bullying.
I have spoken to the teacher on previous occasions, but she is very convinced her 'teaching methods' are fine.

Sorry about the long post - any advice appreciated.

YANBU - go and speak to the school. This is not the right way to teach a child.
YABU - shrug and let go

OP posts:
Restinggoddess · 30/03/2023 19:32

Complain to the head teacher

There are standards for teachers ( easy to Google) - in my opinion this behaviour contravenes those standards
The standards are there to stop this sort of outdated behaviour/ bullying
Clearly the teacher has little understanding of child development or the standards

Covidwoes · 30/03/2023 19:37

Primary teacher here. That is awful! Your poor DD. I'd definitely complain about this, and I rarely complain about anything school related!

Original poster
BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 19:39

TimeForMeToF1y · 30/03/2023 19:20

That is so bizarre, is there any way your daughter could have been mistaken?

Agree, this is very bizarre. I checked with DD twice - but it's hard to confuse a class of 29 kids booing her. She was unusually quiet when she came home - I had to sit her down and get her to tell me what happened...

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 30/03/2023 19:41

Horrible. Your poor daughter. Definitely complain and perhaps insist she moves classes to strengthen the point. What a sad woman to get her kicks from upsetting tiny children.

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/03/2023 19:41

Blimey that’s like something from the 80s

Write to the head and the board jointly. This person needs some retraining, not just a telling off. It’s deeply weird.

Redebs · 30/03/2023 19:42

I'm a teacher.
If any of my colleagues had done this, they would have been told to go home immediately. Never ok to humiliate pupils.

Original poster
BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 19:42

ChateauMargaux · 30/03/2023 19:15

Teachers need to be reminded that girls in particular feel that theor ability in maths is inferior to that of boys and they begin to feel that from the age of 5, despite there being no difference in actual ability. By the end of primary school, many girls do start to fall behind in part due to lack of self belief. The reality is that many just need to find their own way, in their own time. Due to social conditioning, many girls lack the confidence to take risks and have a go at difficult maths questions for fear of getting the answer wrong whereas boys, who are encouraged to take risks elsewhere are more likely to forge ahead and shrug off wrong answers and lower grades while girls drop out of maths because they see themselves as struggling and knowing they have to work hard, whereas boys celebrate achievements that might be either just as good or less good than the girls who believe they are struggling.

Long winded... but I see it over and over again, in different schools, discussed at girls in stem evemts where schools, universities and employers come together to reflect on why girls don't have confidence in their abilities in Maths and how to retain girls who are doing well in these subjects. We need to make them welcome and make them feel like they belong here, not cut them down.

Has this teacher ever booed a male student for poor handwriting or poor reading? Though the ripping the picture story makes me think that perhpas she has...

Thank you ChateauMargaux for your note.
This is a good point here - the children booed at maths today were both girls - and I am going to do everything I can to boost DD's confidence.
However, previous humiliation instances have involved both boys and girls.

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 19:45

BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 18:54

Thank you everyone who took the time to reply, for your words of support.
I plan to go in to see the head teacher tomorrow.

I was undecided about this initially as the whole class unanimously appear to adore the teacher, most parents included and they all say she is 'cool'. But when I have spoken to some parents individually, they agree the teacher's methods can be bizarre - but everyone seems to brush it off. So I have told myself in the past that I am overreacting.
Another similar incident was when the children were asked to paint a portrait of their mother for mothers day. One kid's drawing of his mother was held up to the class and slowly ripped in two, and the teacher had a grin on her face (the drawing-ripping was a joke, of course). No reason given other than 'it was not good enough'. DD did not find it funny but most of the children found it hilarious. I am not sure how the child who's painting was ripped-up took it.

@Seashor No, not a troll post. I get no pleasure in putting teachers down - DD has had some truly wonderful ones in the past. Go and find another poster to harass - I am already angry enough.

Did anyone complain about the ripping of the picture, how did you know about the grin? What actions did the school take? Did you complain? I was sorta believing you with the booing, but this sounds rather like bollocks!

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 19:46

GoodChat · 30/03/2023 19:27

If the teacher also ripped a child's Mother's Day painting in half there's absolutely no reason to not believe she's fully capable of doing this too.

Show quote history

Wouldn't someone of complained about that though? I actually think this is a troll

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 19:48

BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 19:42

Thank you ChateauMargaux for your note.
This is a good point here - the children booed at maths today were both girls - and I am going to do everything I can to boost DD's confidence.
However, previous humiliation instances have involved both boys and girls.

Show quote history

What other previous humiliation instances? Why are parents not complaining in droves?

whynotwhatknot · 30/03/2023 19:50

if youve already brought things up with this teacher then go straight to the head

i waslaughed at in school when the teacher brought up in front of everyone how i feel over skiing-i was ten and never forgot it

Tribblesarelovely · 30/03/2023 19:51

Horrific behaviour. My maths teacher made me stand up in front of the whole class and humiliated me because I couldn’t solve a sum. I’ve never forgotten it, I have a complete block regarding numbers and it’s impacted my whole life.

Original poster
BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 19:51

HelenaHurricane · 30/03/2023 19:04

Are you sure they had different classes depending on ability? I worked in schools for years including as a year 6 TA. It is completely alien to me that you would have a "top class". Even at secondary kids I worked with didn't get put into separate classes till year 8 or 9

Show quote history

@HelenaHurricane @WeWereInParis

Yes, many primary school have sets based on ability - and I truly believe that sets in school are pointless. It creates unnecessary stress - and benefits very few. The only reason I mentioned that DD was in the top class, was to give an idea of the pressure there is on DD.

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 19:52

whynotwhatknot · 30/03/2023 19:50

if youve already brought things up with this teacher then go straight to the head

i waslaughed at in school when the teacher brought up in front of everyone how i feel over skiing-i was ten and never forgot it

Makes you wonder why nothing was done after the teacher smiled demonically at the kids whilst ripping a picture up?

Somanycats · 30/03/2023 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 21:19

@flutterbyebaby @Somanycats

This post had been temporarily deleted while Mumsnet verified the account and the thread - Not a troll. All true.
I do not have the kind of imagination it takes to invent this stuff.
My thanks again to everyone who sent a note of support. Your advice has given me the resolve speak to the Head teacher tomorrow.

OP posts:
Callmenat · 30/03/2023 21:22

Jesus, how awful. I would have hoped teachers have better training than this person received. Obviously not by the sounds of it. How much of this goes on with our kids that we never get to hear about? Bery concerning

Briallen · 30/03/2023 21:22

Op she sounds awful. For the booing and the paper ripping. You definitely need to complain. School needs to be a safe place where children can make mistakes to learn and know that it’s good to do so. Schools usually actively encourage children to have a growth mindset- this teacher is totally destroying it! Your poor dd

Whapples · 30/03/2023 21:45

As a teacher myself, there’s no excuse for that. Awful teaching practice and just generally rubbish human behaviour tbh. I’d go straight to the head as tbh, someone that does that to children won’t be able to listen to reason!

girlfriend44 · 30/03/2023 21:51

LoveQuinnOhDearyMe · 30/03/2023 18:26

WTF? No way is that a normal thing to do! How horrible, you’re poor DD.

Straight to teacher tomorrow and make it clear you’ll be taking it higher. Can you get the word of any other child via their parents just to back you up?

Where you there. Did this really happen in the way your saying?

PandyMoanyMum · 30/03/2023 21:53

Agree with PPs - you need to go to the Head. I’m wondering if this teacher is unwell - it sounds like something someone having a manic episode would do. Your DD needs protecting and this teacher might actually need to be away from school getting medical help.

Sortyourlifeout · 30/03/2023 22:13

I was very confused when this was pulled by admin;

I see no reason why anyone would make this up, and I see no explanation of a child 'imagining' this scenario.

Even if there was any shred of doubt that the child was telling tall tales, it would never be appropriate to go to the teacher in question.

Go to the head, ask for a meeting as a matter of urgency.

LoveQuinnOhDearyMe · 30/03/2023 22:27

girlfriend44 · 30/03/2023 21:51

Where you there. Did this really happen in the way your saying?

Show quote history

Huh? Not sure what you’re getting at. No I wasn’t there it didn’t happen to me. What I mean is, if what the OP is saying is true, can she have other children or parents to back her up in reciting what happened to basically give more power to the complaint?

Elvis1956 · 30/03/2023 22:28

I'm speechless it's 2023 not 1983...and my mum would have complained if that had happened then!

Original poster
BubbleBath365 · 30/03/2023 22:30

Thank you @Sortyourlifeout
It was bad enough having to deal with what happened to DD at school today, without having MNHQ delete the thread earlier. It's incredibly reassuring to see the outpouring of support from Mumsnetters for DD. I have never complained to the school before, but I'm going to record this incident tomorrow.
DD has never lied regarding anything at school - she is smart enough to know it can be easily verified. And we don't have any close mum-friends at her school that we can talk to. I have spoken to the class representative on two previous occasions, but have been told to be wary of backlash from this particular teacher.

OP posts: