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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many different extra curricular activities your DC do?

72 replies

Namechange20222022 · 29/03/2023 18:35

DC is in yr 2, so not at an age where he has a regular hobby that he does several times a week. We started by enrolling him in a few things that were available at times that suited, eg straight from school to avoid wraparound, Saturday morning etc. he now does quite a lot to the point I think it’s excessive (something every day and some days 2 activities/lessons - E.g we pick him up from after school drama club to take him straight to a swimming lesson). The problem is he doesn’t want to give anything up, wants to do everything etc. when / how do we decide to rein it in to fewer activities? How much is too much for a 7YO?

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 29/03/2023 18:43

Too much is when it’s having a negative impact on the welfare of your child or the running of your family.
My girls are considerably older. They both have piano lessons, do swimming and are involved in guiding. One of them also plays sport at least twice a week and the other has dance. Written down it always sounds like a lot but in reality it feels about right. They are busy but with a range of interests and seem to have enough downtime to not feel tired or overwhelmed. Eldest also manages to keep on top of homework successfully.
Everything they do is chosen by them. I only insist on a reasonable commitment to things they have chosen. So no quitting on a whim. I also support missing a session if too tired.

MadeForThis · 29/03/2023 18:45

7 yo - Gaelic x 2 days,
gymnastics, swimming, football and tennis all 1 hour per week.

5yo - Gaelic, gymnastics, swimming, tennis and football 1 hour per week.

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 29/03/2023 18:45

My 6 year old does two things.

Talk to him about it and see what he enjoys the least.

MadeForThis · 29/03/2023 18:46

I dont think 5/6 hours of activities is a lot over the week. Especially if some start straight after school.

NellePorter · 29/03/2023 18:47

Only you know your know child and your family life. Everyone is different and has different circumstances. If it feels like too much then it probably is. In my experience, he will stop enjoying one of the activities soon.
After the summer holidays, if there has been a break from any of them, ask him if he has missed any, or wait until he asks to go back?

HelenaJustina · 29/03/2023 18:47

At that age probably 3 different things, always swimming, possibly a dance class, a sport or beavers/cubs.

Mine are older now and have ‘specialised’ as they got older and found what they really love. But with 4 DC there is not a single day out of 7 that someone doesn’t have something extra curricular somewhere!

Pleasegodgotosleep · 29/03/2023 18:48

7 year old - brownies, church school (1.5 hrs 1 evening a week), karate, swimming, youth club

4 year old - karate & swimming but will join Rainbows & church school when she's 5

BramleyAppleHotCrossBun · 29/03/2023 18:52

DS1 (15) does cadets.

DS2 (11) nothing due to SEN.

DD (9) currently 3: brownies, swimming and horse riding. We’re about to drop swimming though as she’s competed the stages.

Emanresu9 · 29/03/2023 18:53

I think this is a good thing. My children are year 4, 6 and 8 and all do lots and lots after school by choice. As they get older the ones who didn't try lots of things and find their thing have drifted into hours of screen time and loss of focus. The ones who always had a busy schedule (if they enjoyed it) seem to be anecdotally doing better now they're older.

DumpedByText · 29/03/2023 18:53

My 15 year DD does 9 dance classes a week, and has for years. She also has a singing lesson.

She's just got into dance college so her hard work has paid off!

Sharereportbookmark · 29/03/2023 18:55

My 6 year old does horse riding, ballet, climbing, swimming, beavers, piano, tap and modern. I think it's a lot but they are all things she wants to do the only thing that is non negotiable is swimming and (horse riding but only as she now has her own pony). I have asked her a few times if she wants to drop anything but she enjoys them all.

WildAloofRebel · 29/03/2023 18:56

In year 2 DS was doing ice skating, tennis, football and swimming. He ended up saying it was too much which is fair enough 😄 but he did ask to do them all, we’re not pushy at all. He did skating since he was 4 and is really talented so was sad he gave that up. Now he just does football at the weekends and one school sport club. Want him to do piano!

DS2 age 5 only does swimming and Stagecoach but that’s enough.

laddersandsnakes12 · 29/03/2023 18:57

My 8 y/o does swimming twice a week, he did do football last term but he stopped enjoying it so he hasn't continued with that. He did after school cooking classes for a term too but the class was then cancelled after 1 term which was a shame as he loved it. We'd like for him to do more, he's trying a kids art class this week so hopefully he enjoys that and we can sign him up for those on weekends. I think kids that age should definitely be doing a couple of activities a week at least if possible.

Namechange20222022 · 29/03/2023 18:59

Thanks! I’ve talked to him but he does seem to really enjoy them all. We also seem like we are spending a small fortune, which we may need to look at once our mortgage offer ends next year.

most are straight from school (drama, martial arts, coding, sports, forest school). The cost of those is the same as the normal wraparound which we’d need to use anyway if he didn’t do an activity.

We take him to swimming, judo, football, cricket on evenings and weekends. He also does ad hoc tennis (they run a kids lesson alongside DH’s adult tennis socials as a ‘childcare’). And violin during the school day!

judo and football cost the least and he loves them.

Swimming lessons are important I think.

cricket he seems to be really good at and his best friend goes!

the violin lessons are the most expensive but during the school day but, again he is progressing well and he really loves them.

I feel like we’ve enrolled him in too much and it’s difficult to decide what to stop, if anything.

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 29/03/2023 19:00

10yo does...
Drama (at school)
Cubs (soon to be Scouts)
Rugby (twice a week)

11yo does
Dance (at school)
Cookery (at school)
Scouts
Climbing

Both do canoeing, climbing, skating and camping with us.

They did do swimming lessons. They've done other stuff over the years... skiing lessons, Rainbows, All Stars cricket, choir...

General rule is I've got to be able to get them there... a lot easier now they are older and can get to some themselves.

They've also got plenty of time for homework and playing with friends.

TeeNoG · 29/03/2023 19:01

My 8 year old goes to after school club twice a week, but other than that has no structured activities - he's tried several things (gymnastics, football, karate) but ultimately finds them overwhelming and doesn't enjoy them.

However, we do take him swimming weekly, he has a friend over at least once a week and we do lots of activities together at the weekend, and in the evenings in the nicer weather.

I think my point is, it depends on the child, their personality and possibly the age as to what is suitable.

aslkde · 29/03/2023 19:06

Yr 10 - 9.5 hrs a week.

Started off as a 1 hr pre-school sport class and gradually escalated over the years.

I think this is typical for a child who finds their niche with one particular sport!

SittingNextToIt · 29/03/2023 19:11

Namechange20222022 · 29/03/2023 18:35

DC is in yr 2, so not at an age where he has a regular hobby that he does several times a week. We started by enrolling him in a few things that were available at times that suited, eg straight from school to avoid wraparound, Saturday morning etc. he now does quite a lot to the point I think it’s excessive (something every day and some days 2 activities/lessons - E.g we pick him up from after school drama club to take him straight to a swimming lesson). The problem is he doesn’t want to give anything up, wants to do everything etc. when / how do we decide to rein it in to fewer activities? How much is too much for a 7YO?

DS is 7 - we work FT so make most of after school offerings

Monday - Multi sports (at school premises, after school)

Tuesday - Chess (at school premises, after school) - then - Piano lessons (eye watering expense)

Wednesday- Coding Club (at school premises after school)

Thursday - Theatre and Dance (at school premises, after school) then - Swimming Lessons

Friday- French

Saturday morning autumn/winter/spring - Football - training and matches with teams Under 7s in county

Saturday morning - spring/summer - Cricket - training and matches Under 9s

Sunday: nothing!!

IhearyouClemFandango · 29/03/2023 19:15

Dc1 is 12/13, does one after school club and two out of school. (One scouts one sport)

Dc2 is 11 and does a couple of after school ones, plus two out of school. (Again, scouts plus a sport)

Dc3 is 5 and does one sport out of school. Soon to be 2.

Phos · 29/03/2023 19:21

DD is 6.

Monday: Computer club at lunchtime, Rainbows after school
Tuesday: Football at lunchtime
Wednesday: Swimming after school
Thursday: Forest school after school (if it wasn't this, she'd need to go to after School club anyway due to my work pattern)
Friday: Nothing
Saturday: Nothing
Sunday: Football

She has singing lessons at school as well but varies which day. It is a lot when I look at it but there's nothing she doesn't enjoy. She used to do tennis but asked if she could drop it and we readily agreed. She has no pressure to do anything she doesn't want to.

Sceptre86 · 29/03/2023 19:22

It sounds like a lot to me but I have 3 kids and would need to consider the effect of activities on them all. I therefore wouldn't sign up one child to so many. Like yours mine do activities straight after school but they are held at school which means minimum ferrying about. My dd is 7 this week she does dance after school. On a Sunday morning she has swimming lessons and twice a week she has two 20 minute lessons learning Arabic. She has previously done a general sports club and science club on rotation. Her school do 6 week blocks of different sessions you can sign up for so kids get to experience a variety of things. She has asked to start learning an instrument next year.

Maybe your son just likes to be kept busy? There's nothing wrong with that and if he is happy and it's not encroaching on family time I'd let him continue.

RudsyFarmer · 29/03/2023 19:24

Swimming
Football
Band
Beavers/Cubs

That keeps us more than occupied. Sometimes they do an after school club too but it’s adhoc.

Dacadactyl · 29/03/2023 19:27

Yeah at that age mine would have been doing 3 or 4 activites a week.

Now they both do 2 each, a week, but on various nights/weekend days, so they are still out a lot.

Natsku · 29/03/2023 19:28

At 7 DD wanted to do everything, she did every club at school plus scouts, gymnastics, gym club and circus school but a year later she decided herself that it was all too much and dropped most activities then picked up the ones she likes best a year after that (does 4 different activities now on 5 days which is still a bit much as they sometimes clash but she's not willing to give anything up and is coping fine).
If its not negatively affecting your lives then I'd leave him to realise himself when it's too much

Outandup · 29/03/2023 19:31

8yo here and does 5 activities:

Swimming lessons
Kickboxing
Beavers/Cubs
Street Dance
Guitar (through school)

The only thing he has to do is the swimming lessons and if he wants to quit anything else then it’s when the paid-for period finishes (unless there was exceptional circumstances).