To make you aware that surrogacy is going to be liberalised

[VestaTilley]

Today, the Law Commission have published their final recommendations to Government, calling for reform of surrogacy laws in the U.K.

The proposed change would make commissioning parents legal parents at birth. That means that the birth mother would never be regarded as the legal parent, nor would she be listed on the birth certificate.

This has been privately lobbied for behind closed doors, away from women and maternity groups for years. The Law Commission consulted in 2019, but never published their responses or said who had fed in to their consultation.

Law firms and surrogacy agencies are rubbing their hands with glee today: I feel physically sick.

They would have you believe surrogacy in this country is “altruistic”. This is not the case. Women can receive upwards of £20,000 per pregnancy in “expenses” - which is a huge financial incentive to a woman if they are from a poor background.

Do we want to live in a society which creates a servant class of women? Which takes babies away from their mothers at birth?

When pregnant we are all advised to bond with our babies, breastfeed if we can and speak to our babies in utero. How does the NHS square this advice with making it legal for a child to never legally have a connection to its own mother?

If you are in anyway concerned about these proposals please, please contact your MP and raise all the noise you can to try and stop this before it is too late:

https://www.lawcom.gov.uk/surrogacy-laws-to-be-overhauled-under-new-reforms-benefitting-the-child-surrogate-and-intended-parents/

Literally no one asked. No one . How about you RTFT and see what people are actually saying, instead of using 'would you ban adoption too then?' and all the other whataboutery.

fortunately your opinion does not have an impact whether I or anyone else "deserves" to be a parent

literally the person I replied to did

@nothingcomestonothing Thank you!

It was heartbreaking last night to read this thread and being patronised for asking about the child.

Many things happen in life that we cannot control. But to, on purpose, support a system creating a situation that might be devastating for the one in the process, the child, who has no say in it at all and that can be avoided, doesn't make sense to me however it is put. Other situations, from which we can and should learn, are dealing with situations that have occurred.

If we can't learn from the past but need to experiment with other human beings and wait until we have seen a couple of generations growing up and how they are affected by it all, we are definitely not ready for taking such big steps as surrogacy.

Well I rather took that as a rhetorical question, given that you cannot possibly know how you'd feel since it didn't happen to you and you know nothing about it. You thought it was an actual question though, okay

I am not giving in to people being snarky just because someone disagrees with them :) so if you ask even the dumbest question I won't, on my part, question your logic - I will simply answer ;)

for now it seems like none of you really care for a child - no evidence that parents who take child do any harm to it, and "only mother its ever known" it a bit of a stretch if someone has been out and alive for 30 minutes

So the child isn’t alive before birth, doesn’t have any sense of the womb, or the woman bearing that child? We have a much better sense of what babies experience in utero and it’s certainly not the case that they don’t “know” anything before birth.

the child has a absolutely no clue or idea about who the "mother" is

that's why a lot of children who were adopted at your age dont even remember their birth parenrs

that's why a lot of children who were adopted at your age dont even remember their birth parenrs

Yes like my friend who was adopted at birth who is suffering greatly with feelings of insecurity and loneliness at not understanding who she really is. But you dismiss experiences like this.

A woman is not a birthing vessel. The baby is gestated and only lives because the mothers body carries it and nurtures it , the bond is real and has been scientifically studied. It is undeniable.

You are being so reductive in the role that the mother plays in pregnancy. The fact that the egg may come from elsewhere does not mean that the woman who carries the child is not a mother.

All of this to justify the 'right' to buy a baby.

that's why a lot of children who were adopted at your age dont even remember their birth parenrs

For the nth time, decades of research shows that children can be impacted by things they were too young to remember

the right to HAVE a baby :)

No one on this earth has that right.

that's why a lot of children who were adopted at your age dont even remember their birth parenrs

There may be no cognitive memory, but children are impacted by infant removal. There’s literally decades of research telling us that children removed at birth or infancy are impacted.

I think the framing of surrogacy is where people differ so much. Whilst I feel for people who desperately want a child, my sympathies lie firstly with the ones are losing out of this - the exploited women and the babies taken from their mothers.

It seems surrogacy advocates main interest in is the commissioning parents first and the concerns for the baby and surrogacy are secondary (if present at all).

The reality is that it’s much easier to empathise with infertility because the voices are heard. Especially when we are talking about western people with money who can amplify their pain.
But the voices of poor surrogates aren’t heard. And particularly the voices of babies moments after their birth.

So forget the commissioning parents for a second and reframe the subject in this: What is the inherent benefit for the child in this scenario? What is the benefit for a baby to be created purely to be taken from its birth mother?

I agree. The child is a commodity in this situation.

If you carry a child within your body your blood and hormones flow through it, nourish it. It becomes part of you. How is it not your child even if egg and sperm are donated? No-one would say it was not your child if you had Gift (which involves a donated egg) would they?

I've written to my MP and I'm willing to campaign to get surrogacy banned in the UK.

Fortunately we live in a democracy where I can use my voice and my vote to defend babies and stop people trafficking.

I understand that it's only anecdotal but if you have ever watched Long Lost Family there are adults who search for their birth parents who have always felt that something was missing. Many had perfectly happy childhoods but felt that they didn't fit, they had little in common with their adoptive family . I don't feel at all qualified to give an opinion on why that might be, however it's clear that many, when they get to know their birth family gain a sense of belonging. Is that just wishful thinking or is it something that we can't define or explain rationally or scientifically?

it will be interesting afternoon at the Independent office

I don't understand this comment, sorry.

I've written to my MP too and he has just replied, he says he shares my concerns.

(Concerns that have been shared throughout this thread and dismissed by the minority here who have a different point of view.)

it's kind of both - society puts a lot of pressure and importance on "knowing where you came from" so people may feel they are missing something and everyone around them reminds them of it. There's also the curiosity as to whether you have any siblings etc

then there are stories of failed reunions where biological parents have failed to meet the expectations, making it painfully obvious as to why the adoption happened in first place

the worst one I've come across was an adoptee being told by their birth mother to stay out of her life as she was "just a reminded of a mistake" the mother has made

It's not even that...what is implanted is a tiny speck. How do people imagine that turns into a newborn baby? Do they it just grows by itself? Who's cells make that child?

Maternal fetal cellular trafficking means that the surrogates cells are in the foetus, and vice versa. They can carry each others cells for life. They are biologically bonded.

People act as if a surrogate is just holding on to someone else baby for a while, keeping it warm. That's just not the reality of surrogacy.

I believe that there should be more regulation around surrogacy but I doubt anyone will do anything about it. MPs are always "sharing our concerns" while UK is not exactly doing great on human rights right now - so best you can hope for is a mention in a paper, no actual legal changes

Agree, could not say it as well.