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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Receptionist

44 replies

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 10:22

Hi,

Am I being overly sensitive here? My DD3 has been off this week with a vomiting bug, she returned today and didn't want to go in. She was running away from the nursery and saying I want to stay home with you. The teacher took her in and she was crying. I left feeling so guilty. I went home to do some work but kept thinking about how she is because she has been vomiting so much and not eating, she's low on energy. I rang the school to ask if she is okay, and I can collect her if she isn't okay. The receptionist laughed at me and said they would have rang you by now if there was an issue. I told her she's been unwell and I'm just worried as I dropped her off and she was so upset I just want to know she is okay. Then she said well I can't go check on her now, I'll go in half an hour and ring you back. No one has rang back.

I'm just cheesed off that they talk about a partnership but when a worrier parent rings it's like I'm being a nuisance, and she just came across so insensitive.

OP posts:
happysingleversary · 29/03/2023 10:29

It's standard, they're busy and they think you're silly worrying. Get used to it and don't let it get to you.
She's right though, they would ring you if there were a big enough issue for you to have to leave work.

If you don't have to be in work, you could have kept her home.

If you think she benefits from nursery and didn't want to keep her off, then see point one,

Relax.

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 10:36

To be fair, my DD's preschool would always send a picture of her playing to show me she is fine, on the couple of occasions that she did go in upset.

I could have kept her at home but the teacher made a couple of comments last two days about her missing time off. She has been off for 4 days the entire term (from January). They've been on strike themselves longer than that!!

OP posts:
happysingleversary · 29/03/2023 10:37

She's not compulsory school age so can miss whatever time she likes

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 10:52

I should say that next time!

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 29/03/2023 10:58

If there was an issue they would have called you. They havnt got time to start running around checking on kids like that, imagine if they had to do that multiple times a day for multiple 'worrier' parents?

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 11:04

I get that but it's a small, undersubscribed school and my DD has just started nursery this term. I just wanted to know she was okay as she was crying so much. Maybe I need to get used to this as you said.

OP posts:
unfortunateevents · 29/03/2023 11:06

You posted at 10.22 and presumably at least half an hour has elapsed by then so you phoned at what time - before 10 in the morning? It the busiest time of day in school offices, parents all dropping off stuff, leaving instructions about medicines, probably still trying to sort cover and agency staff, trying to phone to see where missing children are, registers arriving etc etc. Give the receptionist a chance to actually get away from her desk and go to the classroom!

unfortunateevents · 29/03/2023 11:10

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 10:36

To be fair, my DD's preschool would always send a picture of her playing to show me she is fine, on the couple of occasions that she did go in upset.

I could have kept her at home but the teacher made a couple of comments last two days about her missing time off. She has been off for 4 days the entire term (from January). They've been on strike themselves longer than that!!

And next time you get a comment like that I would point that out to them nicely! Also, your DD is 3, there is no obligation on her to be anywhere at that point if she is not feeling well. What is she missing by not being there for a few days - Beginners Excel or messy play?!

Duttercup · 29/03/2023 11:12

I think it's shit, to be honest, and part of why I wouldn't use a school nursery. My DDs nursery encourages you to call any time you're worried and I believe them - I've only rung once and they were lovely about it.

Fluffodils · 29/03/2023 11:13

I think it's bang out of order for them to laugh

alyceflowers · 29/03/2023 11:16

Mean of the receptionist - whenever I have called to check on a child (in nursery or primary) they've always checked for me and called back. And this is two different schools.

TenDinnerTeddy · 29/03/2023 11:20

It’s understandable that they’re busy and can’t jump to check k on your daughter but shes a cunt for laughing at you. With so many kids not cared for, it’s lovely to hear from the parents that care. Don’t let her make you feel bad. There always seems to be one receptionist that’s a big of a dick at the least in all the schools I’ve been involved with. Her issue, not yours.

Hope your little one is ok.

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 11:35

Thanks, everyone. I've also asked friends with children in other schools and they've all said that schools jave always been helpful the odd occasion that they have rung them with any worry. It's part of an ongoing issue I have with this particular school. We recently raised concerns about bullying and horrendous behaviour in my other DD's class so maybe that's why they're behaving this way with me.

OP posts:
MotherofBingo · 29/03/2023 11:42

I had a similar experience when I phoned to see if my daughter was OK when she went back to school 2 days after her uncle died. The receptionist clearly thought I was being ridiculous and said we'll phone you if there's a problem. I do understand they are busy but I think sometimes they could show a bit more compassion for parents who are obviouy worried.

Nodney · 29/03/2023 11:55

I get what you mean OP. I have had a similar day with my wee one post illness. I called the reception and she rang through to nursery and checked all was well. Then she rung me back to reassure me. I didn't make a habit of it but they were supportive when I did need to call. This was a school nursery

EmmaDilemma5 · 29/03/2023 11:58

I work in a primary school office. I would absolutely go and check she's ok and report back.

YANBU. She's your child and she's very young. So call back and ask how she is and that you'd rather they check now given so much time has passed.

It's ok to care for your 4 year old; they should realise this.

FlamingoQueen · 29/03/2023 12:00

The receptionist was wrong. Yes, parents do ring up to check on their children, but she should have popped to check on your dd and rung you back. No excuse for laughing.
Also, if your dd is not 100% right and upset, then she should have not gone in.

MWBE · 29/03/2023 12:03

She was wrong for laughing at you. Ignore her. It’s fine to call and check on your child. She’s a miserable cow.

Unemployednobody · 29/03/2023 12:07

It was unprofessional for her to laugh. What a nasty sneery cowbag!

Crazyshihtzulady · 29/03/2023 12:41

ZeroFuchsGiven · 29/03/2023 10:58

If there was an issue they would have called you. They havnt got time to start running around checking on kids like that, imagine if they had to do that multiple times a day for multiple 'worrier' parents?

It's literally their job to make and recieve calls! that's what a receptionist does!!

If she said she was going to call back then she should have.

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 12:52

Would I be OTT if I complained to the parent governor and she relayed the information back to the Head? It's difficult because I feel like they will all be gossiping about me anyway because of the parents' evening and the concerns I raised regarding behaviour of some children with the teacher.

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 29/03/2023 13:13

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 12:52

Would I be OTT if I complained to the parent governor and she relayed the information back to the Head? It's difficult because I feel like they will all be gossiping about me anyway because of the parents' evening and the concerns I raised regarding behaviour of some children with the teacher.

Oh dear 🙈

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 29/03/2023 13:19

You’re criticising the school but you said your kid has “been vomiting so much and not eating, she's low on energy.” This week?

Its only Wednesday, so was she sick on Monday and Tuesday and you’ve sent her in today feeling low on energy? I would have kept her off. It was your choice to send her in so live with it.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 29/03/2023 13:26

My daughter sometimes struggles going in and can be upset. School drop me an email to let me know she's ok. If they don't and I email/call to ask they normally reply within a few minutes. Really builds the trust and relationship so I don't think it's too much to ask.

Rachaelrachael · 29/03/2023 13:26

I think she was rude by laughing, this would really annoy me! My DD is 3 and at nursery. One day last week I called worried as the app said she ate no lunch at all so I wanted to check she was OK. The office manager went to check on her while I was on hold. Then said she'd get her a sandwich and go sit with her while she ate her own lunch. It's not hard to just pop down to check on them or call the room is it?