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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School Receptionist

44 replies

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 10:22

Hi,

Am I being overly sensitive here? My DD3 has been off this week with a vomiting bug, she returned today and didn't want to go in. She was running away from the nursery and saying I want to stay home with you. The teacher took her in and she was crying. I left feeling so guilty. I went home to do some work but kept thinking about how she is because she has been vomiting so much and not eating, she's low on energy. I rang the school to ask if she is okay, and I can collect her if she isn't okay. The receptionist laughed at me and said they would have rang you by now if there was an issue. I told her she's been unwell and I'm just worried as I dropped her off and she was so upset I just want to know she is okay. Then she said well I can't go check on her now, I'll go in half an hour and ring you back. No one has rang back.

I'm just cheesed off that they talk about a partnership but when a worrier parent rings it's like I'm being a nuisance, and she just came across so insensitive.

OP posts:

euff · 29/03/2023 13:26

Why is the school undersubscribed?

Don't worry about them talking about you. You get treated better when you stand up for yourself.

Receptionist was a cow.

When they have ofsted you will be able to feedback.

sequincardi · 29/03/2023 13:28

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 12:52

Would I be OTT if I complained to the parent governor and she relayed the information back to the Head? It's difficult because I feel like they will all be gossiping about me anyway because of the parents' evening and the concerns I raised regarding behaviour of some children with the teacher.

Yes you would
Because that doesn't help your child - if anything it really gives you a reputation as a moaner and none of the staff will ever want to help you again in case they get it wrong and you complain again

Far better to explain why you are upset and say sorry I know I am worrying but I would be so grateful if you could check on her

Beantag · 29/03/2023 13:31

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 12:52

Yes it would be OTT. She shouldn't have laughed but was it a haha you're so silly or an awkward haha? They're right they would call you if any issues, she probably had every intention of checking and phoning back but it depends what else was going on at the time- if there are people in reception or other calls coming through its not a priority really. You could feedback to the teacher or to the receptionist but honestly going to the governors before trying to resolve it/discuss it with them first is over the top.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 29/03/2023 13:32

Op I've been school admin and if a parent rang up because they were worried, I discretely went & checked. I had a mum in tears in the office so I went & checked the classroom for her.
Yes I was busy, but as far as I was concerned it was part of my job. I didn't mind. It was a lovely friendly little school & my youngest went there. It's how I would have wanted to be treated.

Charmatt · 29/03/2023 13:33

You typed this just after 10 am this morning. Do you have any idea what school offices have to deal with before 10.30 in the morning?
....and the parent governor is not a shortcut for the complaints procedure. If you aren't happy, go to the office manager and then to the headteacher.

And yes, you are THAT parent!

Original poster

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 13:39

The parent governor is a long standing friend of mine, and has told me to tell the Head directly in a casual way because she has received complaints before about some of the admin team being rude to parents and she takes it very seriously because they have such a forward facing role and are the first point of contact for parents, they need to provide reassurances and good impression of the school.

I have not complained to the school about anything before so I'm definitely not that parent.

OP posts:

MintJulia · 29/03/2023 13:41

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 12:52

Completely over the top.

You took your child back to preschool, presumably because she had stopped vomiting. You placed her in their care so they can get on with educating her along with all the other children.

The receptionist is right. If there was a problem, they would ring you. Otherwise they are busy and don't have time for helicopter parenting. They are professionals, let them get on with their job.

Thisisabsolutelyfine · 29/03/2023 13:44

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 29/03/2023 13:19

You’re criticising the school but you said your kid has “been vomiting so much and not eating, she's low on energy.” This week?

Its only Wednesday, so was she sick on Monday and Tuesday and you’ve sent her in today feeling low on energy? I would have kept her off. It was your choice to send her in so live with it.

This was what I was wondering. There’s usually a policy that children shouldn’t be sent in until clear 48 hours from last vomiting/diarrhoea. Is daughter so upset because she is still unwell and needs to be at home. I would say if you need school reassurance that she’s ok, she shouldn’t be in.

TomatoFrog · 29/03/2023 13:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Anotherturnipforthebooks · 29/03/2023 13:46

Yeah, I think this is a school be private nursery issue. Schools aren't childcare and the vast majority of the children attending have to be there. It's a very different mindset to a private pre-school.

Thisisabsolutelyfine · 29/03/2023 13:47

I would be giving the receptionist the benefit of the doubt that maybe you misinterpreted her tone. It really helps to have school office staff on your side, so I would definitely let this one go OP.

Original poster

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 13:54

Thanks, guys. Will take your advice and leave it.

OP posts:

angstridden2 · 29/03/2023 14:00

Off topic I suppose, but describing the receptionist as ‘a cunt’ makes me wonder what is left to use if someone does something really awful.

NewMum0305 · 29/03/2023 14:00

OP, for what it’s worth, I don’t think YABU. I had similar with my daughter (off sick for a while and then cried buckets at the first drop off). I hadn’t quite made it home before one of the nursery practitioners had called me just to reassure me that she had settled immediately and was helping set up the room for breakfast, which I was so grateful for (In my heart, I knew she’d be fine but it was still very comforting to have it confirmed!)

Early years settings should value relationships with parents. The receptionist may well have thought you were being OTT but that should never have been evident to you. She was being a cow and I’m sorry you had to go through it.

PollyPut · 29/03/2023 14:03

Receptionist can't leave reception and phones unattended. If she's on her own for half an hour then maybe she can't check until the other person is back to staff reception.

I wouldn't complain over this, no

MsWhitworth · 29/03/2023 14:09

Rather irritated at the amount of people suggesting that being ‘busy’ is an excuse for being rude and dismissive. Lots of people are busy, doesn’t mean you can be a dick.

melj1213 · 29/03/2023 14:10

Tbh whilst the receptionist shouldn't have laughed at you she may not have been laughing at you specifically but more an exasperated laugh at the situation. Still unprofessional but most people would just let it go.

You posted here at twenty past ten, they said they'd call in 30 mins and they hadn't so the latest you could have called them is 9.50 and I would expect you to give them a little bit of leeway with the "half an hour" before you started wanting to call in the governors so let's say you called at 9.40 ... That's less than an hour since your DD went into school and one of the busiest times of the day for school admin staff so she probably laughed at your insistence that someone check on your DD and let you know if she needs picking up as though it was an emergency.

If there was a serious issue (eg she had been inconsolable or sick) then they would have contacted you but essentially, no news is good news and you should have left it at that. Also the school reception will be dealing with so many bigger issues from the older children, it's not like a private nursery where you get regular updates through the course of the day and a detailed contact arrangement - they may not have had time to go and check whether a 3yo is still upset (presumably not or the patent would have been called) when they're dealing with the dozen Yr 1-6s who have not been reported as sick but have not turned up to school and they're trying to chase those up to ensure the children are accounted for, but they can't say that on the phone so she'll have just given an exasperated laugh and told you that they would call if there was an issue.

PinkEdgeOfMind · 29/03/2023 14:10

YANBU my child school refuses a few times a week and I always ring up about an hour after I've managed to get her in to see how she is, receptionist is always extremely polite and helpful.

Antiquiteas · 29/03/2023 14:13

MelThomas1 · 29/03/2023 12:52

You’re really escalating this in your own head, aren’t you?

Nothing has happened.

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