Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To ask about life with an elderly dog?

46 replies

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 08:26

Posting here for traffic
looking for advice re and experience of caring for much loved elderly dog .

We have a 15 year old dog .. she is the type of breed that is very people attached to people , not the type that is happy with anyone who gives a walk or a treat. When I go out she lies by the door always has
.
For the last two years we have done our holidays round her so that she can come with us . We are big walkers , cliffs , beaches etc.
we went to Norfolk so that it was nice and flat and pushed her round in a buggy

My dh is 63 , me 60 and we would love to have a weekend in Ireland , etc . We have been invited to a wedding a 5 hour drive away and dont think its fair to take her all that way .
ive never looked aftwr an old dog before and want to look after her and make her happy.
the thing is all she wants to do is for me to get into bed with her and read whilst she sleeps .. this is her happiest time.
i take her out to the village in a dog pram which she loves , and thats about it .
i find that apart from work , our world is shrinking so that we meet her needs i don't want her left behind and missing us but at the same time its starting to imapact on us . .. and maybe need to change the balance? I totally accept we cant do the holidays we want to do .
But things like weddings at a distance or a weekand away are becoming harder .
Our dc are both long drives away, our dog sitter is rarely avaliable .. she is quite young and often away on holiday or away at weekends and the last few times we have had to ask our daughter to come to dog sit and she lives 6 hours away.( for a special event)
we don't know if it is fair to ask anyone else as it is a big responsibility looking after an elderly animal?
i may try trusted pet sitters ? Any experience of this ?
i am also asking advice about the emotional aspects of care of elderly dog ..? How to balance life . Id feel
awful if i left her, there is no point having a break feeling guilty? She is absolutely loveky , i wd want her with us , but she seems at an age that whilst she loves new sniffs on holiday the journey is really getting harder for her .
any thoughts or advice ?
no family whatsoever nearby .

OP posts:

Fidgety31 · 29/03/2023 08:28

Mine goes to kennels if I can’t take him with me

Wiennetta · 29/03/2023 08:31

I’d be searching for a dog sitter with better availability who could come to the house if possible so the dog is in her own environment.

I have a dog and go away about 10-12 times a year. She always goes to the same dog sitter, stays at her house and is very happy there - it’s a home away from home.

Can you look for a better dog sitter and build up a good relationship with them?

You could also look at websites like trusted house sitters.

Wedoronron · 29/03/2023 08:31

Could you try borrow my dog, or ask about locally. My older neighbour loved looking after our ancient dog. He used to come and sit with her and read the paper.

SoupDragon · 29/03/2023 08:32

My dog has been to dog sitters who look after him in their own home. He loves people and doesn't much like other dogs so would hate kennels. It's really hard finding someone though. We were really lucky last summer when I found someone on Borrow My Doggy to look after him when I discovered my booked dog boarder had closed and not told anyone.

with a elderly "home" dog like yours, you might be better finding a sitter who come and stay in your home (which isn't for everyone - I would hate it!).

Laiste · 29/03/2023 08:34

What breed is she?

Bluntly, at 15, there probably is only 2 years or so left. Sorry to say it

I would look at professional pet sitters near you in addition to the one you've got. But really, if you feel she doesn't enjoy the holidays and you don't want to leave her then you're stuck.

My parents did almost nothing for the last 3 years of their dogs life. He couldn't do more than stagger round the block at a snails pace and hated car journeys. They wouldn't leave him so that was that. They were in their mid 60s at that point. I guess it's all part of the sacrifices you make when you take on an animal like a dog.

Stugs · 29/03/2023 08:38

Ours are 12 and 13 and can't do long walks any more really. We have older teens at home so they can look after ddogs when we go away. We tend to take them for a short walk, drop them home then go off for longer walks without them.

I think you need to find a pet sitter or accept that for the next couple of years you'll be tied.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 29/03/2023 08:39

We found a kennels who were well experienced in caring for elderly dogs and had senior dogs of their own too. Our dog loved going there, although he also loved long car journeys and new places to explore. At 15 he's probably a bit blind and deaf so will know his way around, so being at home is probably the best thing. I think you need to look for a different sitter who is available for weekend work as part of their business offer.

Original poster

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 08:40

The thing is we live in a small village , poor transport links , limited population . She is very much a one woman dog and pines when i go out for the morning .! I suppose i am trying nit to stress her , so trying to find the best option .
i am also struggling with the concept of giving myself permission mentally to go away . I dont know if its ok . She has always come everywhere with us . Seems unfair , but undo not to , to start leaving her now ! But i have to do things sometimes ! Finding a balance seems hard .. i cant stay in all the time .

OP posts:

Laiste · 29/03/2023 08:40

It's one of the main reasons why i wouldn't get another dog actually. I had dogs in my 20s and 30s but the last one passed away when i was 40 and their elderly years were hard wrt holidays and outings.

I had great danes, so no push chairs for us! 😳

Stugs · 29/03/2023 08:42

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 08:40

Surely there are house sitters eho will drive to you and live in?

Original poster

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 08:46

Thanks . She is a bichon . Quiet and hates being away from hime unless i am there . She is starting with dementai. She cant see well at all and is quite deaf.
i am happy to not do things if i need to , i accept its part of having an old dog , for the last two years we have done holidays totally round her needs like flat places . I am trying to work the way forward.
i think not kennels , not new environment due to sight.
so it looks like continue to limit what we do and have dog sitter in the home if poss.

OP posts:

Stugs · 29/03/2023 08:47

My friend had a sling for her elderly Bichon! Like a backpack type thing. Worked well.

Original poster

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 08:49

Stugs yes there will be housesiters that can do it . I was explaining that there are limited numbers of people in the village who i can call upon as limited numbers as area not near places .

OP posts:

Original poster

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 08:49

We have a buggy . We cd try a sling , i will ask the vet . She has arthritus and i dint want cause any pain .

OP posts:

Laiste · 29/03/2023 08:50

Stugs · 29/03/2023 08:47

My friend had a sling for her elderly Bichon! Like a backpack type thing. Worked well.

That's a good idea! For holls.

Furrydogmum · 29/03/2023 08:56

I'm late 40's and have a very attached elderly dog. I go to work and she stays on my bed until I'm home - she knows the difference between me getting ready for work and getting up on a weekend! I will fit my life in terms of holidays and weekends away etc around her, and my other elder dog who needs meds at set times, until I lose them. I have just taken on a large breed rehome of around 4 years so can't see my life changing much for a while! My pets give me so much pleasure and love so I dont feel hard done by.

MatildaTheCat · 29/03/2023 09:03

I ended up taking my boy with me whenever I could. Luckily I did have a dog minder whom he adored so she was an option too. I’d recommend asking at your vet for recommendations or other dog owners for trusted sitters and spending a few visits to get to know each other.

It’s tough but I wouldn’t want to distress an old and loved dog. Either you get one of your DC home, pay a decent sitter or stay at home.

Wishing you well.

Laiste · 29/03/2023 09:04

It's lovely to see so much care going to these lucky elderly pets on this thread. Owners accepting that the animals twilight years are going to be very different to the bouncy years.

I must say - it makes me think of the hundreds of 'lock down' dogs (our village dog population has at least trebled!) and all the 'designer' doggies who are all sprightly puppies and 3/4 year olds right now ... how many of the owners will have thought ahead to when their dog's old age really impacts their lives like this.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/03/2023 09:07

We lost our dear old 16 yo dog last year, it was quite tough (probably good for him that covid limited what we were doing to some extent).
Fortunately he didn't mind too much being left awhile if we went out for the day.

When we went on holidays, he stayed with lovely people from Holidays4Dogs - they're pretty good at finding carers who can deal with older animals, give meds if needbe (ours didn't) - I'd recommend you see if they have anyone in your area. It'll cost more than kennels but imo worth it.

ThreeblackCats · 29/03/2023 09:09

Do you not know of anyone that would happily spend a weekend at yours to look after your dog?
They'd obviously need a day there prior so as to learn your doggies habits and ways, favourite places etc.

It’s part of the joy of being a pet owner/doggy mum.

im not really sure what answer you’re honestly expecting.

orangelotus · 29/03/2023 09:11

oh it's so difficult isn't it?
we just had our 15 year old PTS. hardest thing we've ever done.
we had all the same things but were lucky our adult children live nearby and would come and stay with her. i got some really nice advice on here as we couldn't make a decision about what to do. She was blind deaf unable to go for any walks. She didn't know us any longer. incontinent.So thin although she could still eat
i was totally unprepared for the amount of care she needed.
And i have also been unprepared for the overwhelming grief.
Good luck it's an awful period of time

KimberleyClark · 29/03/2023 09:16

orangelotus · 29/03/2023 09:11

Same here. Ours was pts five years ago but I still feel guilty that we didn’t do it earlier. When we took her to the vet for the last time it transpired she had cancer in her mouth and we hadn’t realised. We have not had another dog since, I just don’t feel we could go through it again.

Wotrewelookinat · 29/03/2023 09:50

I have a 14 year old terrier who has heart problems and arthritis, though well-controlled by medication. Luckily she’s fine travelling in the car and sleeping in the car, and we tried a buggy for the first time yesterday and she loved it. We got her out every so often for a walk and sniff, then back in with some treats. She has become more clingy since lockdown and also as her sight is reducing ( though she can still see a squirrel a mile away it seems, just can’t chase it any more!).

We have decided not to go away without her anymore. It just doesn’t seem fair. We used to leave her with a friend when we went abroad, but now she just sits by the door waiting to go home. Plus I’d hate for her to deteriorate and die/have to be PTS without me there. Our day trips also revolve around her….will it be too sunny/hot to leave her in the car? Can we use the buggy? Etc.

We are planning a week in the Lake District in the summer. There’s no way she
can get up hills so we’re going to try a backpack. And if that doesn’t work one of us will stay with her and the other will take the teens for a hill climb.

I can’t bear the thought of her not being around anymore one day so am happy to make sacrifices for now.

Original poster

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 10:31

Thanks all . I just wanted the opportunity to explore this and ideas.
its a change as she normally comes everywhere with us , local
shops , cafe, pub but mostky she is finding it all too busy and may be getting anxious/ overwhelmed , but we just dont want leave her at home but we cant stay in all the time.
we will continue to take her on 4 little sniff walks a day, and out in buggy.
ive rang vet and got list of two sitters as we absolutely must visit eldery relatives over night soon as they need help And also daughter who had new house a good way away .
we will try to take her with us in first instance but dont want to exhaust or stress her x she just wants to sleep a lot of the day .

OP posts:

Original poster

Outandabouts · 29/03/2023 10:32

It's helped to discuss and assimilate the changes . Thanks .

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread