To ask about life with an elderly dog?

[Outandabouts]

Posting here for traffic
looking for advice re and experience of caring for much loved elderly dog .

We have a 15 year old dog .. she is the type of breed that is very people attached to people , not the type that is happy with anyone who gives a walk or a treat. When I go out she lies by the door always has
.
For the last two years we have done our holidays round her so that she can come with us . We are big walkers , cliffs , beaches etc.
we went to Norfolk so that it was nice and flat and pushed her round in a buggy

My dh is 63 , me 60 and we would love to have a weekend in Ireland , etc . We have been invited to a wedding a 5 hour drive away and dont think its fair to take her all that way .
ive never looked aftwr an old dog before and want to look after her and make her happy.
the thing is all she wants to do is for me to get into bed with her and read whilst she sleeps .. this is her happiest time.
i take her out to the village in a dog pram which she loves , and thats about it .
i find that apart from work , our world is shrinking so that we meet her needs i don't want her left behind and missing us but at the same time its starting to imapact on us . .. and maybe need to change the balance? I totally accept we cant do the holidays we want to do .
But things like weddings at a distance or a weekand away are becoming harder .
Our dc are both long drives away, our dog sitter is rarely avaliable .. she is quite young and often away on holiday or away at weekends and the last few times we have had to ask our daughter to come to dog sit and she lives 6 hours away.( for a special event)
we don't know if it is fair to ask anyone else as it is a big responsibility looking after an elderly animal?
i may try trusted pet sitters ? Any experience of this ?
i am also asking advice about the emotional aspects of care of elderly dog ..? How to balance life . Id feel
awful if i left her, there is no point having a break feeling guilty? She is absolutely loveky , i wd want her with us , but she seems at an age that whilst she loves new sniffs on holiday the journey is really getting harder for her .
any thoughts or advice ?
no family whatsoever nearby .

The dog is mostly blind, struggles with mobility due to arthritis, struggles with anxiety when you go out. Has huge care needs. Is 15. Deaf.
what is her quality of life if she only enjoys sleeping on the bed with you.
don’t wait until her quality of life dips even more.
I would be considering giving her one to three nice months on painkillers at the very most and then putting her down.
don’t let her suffer op.

Spambod
i didnt think she was suffering .. in that she is on daily pain releif for meds . As long as her tail is up , i thought she was ok . She is seeming mostlly sleepy .
i have heard that dogs are a master of disguise re pain tho so will get vet to check her over again .

The vet may be able to medicate for her anxiety when you are out.

There must be people who would love to get to know her and you could pay to sit in your house. Have you advertised locally?

My friend and husband's dog is 13. If they go away overnight he goes to her husband's sister - he's OK with short car journeys. If they both go out for more than a couple of hours I sit with him - he gets separation anxiety otherwise. They've only had one 5 day uk holiday since lockdown and I think holidays will be off the table from now on.

You obviously love your dog dearly - as they do.

I'm in a similar situation to you but my dog is used to kennels, but the last time he went he was so distressed so that's no longer an option. He is also travel sick so going anywhere with us is not an option. He has a condition which is mostly managed with diet, he can be sick and has started to poo and do the occasion wee in the house. He is also blind and deaf. But there is this spark there and it just doesn't feel the right time to let him go. With my other dogs there as been a clear illness which All though a hard decision it helped, this is a terrible time and I feel my world shrinking because I'm unable to leave him but then I love him and im so tired, through lack of sleep as he disturbs me during the night. he's not in pain. He's nearly 14.

This is the reality of an elderly sick dog, I’m in the same position, just me DH and no family, my dog is devoted to me and always has had separation anxiety, she cannot function without me at all now she is poorly so I have adjusted my life completely to suit her needs, luckily I work from home but if needled I am in the fortunate position that I could have given up work (and I would have done) to care for her, she probably, if I’m lucky has 12 months at best, the thought of her being without me when she is at the point in her life where she needs me most is unbearable, so I do whatever it takes, she is never alone and comes with me everywhere or I don’t go, she is a toy bread so easily transportable in that respect. Yes it is incredibly restrictive, if she had her way she would be on my knee on the sofa all day sleeping! But so long as I am close she is happy and content. I really don’t think you can change your dogs routine now OP, introducing new dog sitters or putting her in kennels, I doubt she would cope and she would become distressed.

Very hard and great you are so determined to be there for your dog when she needs you. But don't be afraid to look at quality of life and make the decision when the time comes. I have heard from vets that people normally make the decision too late when the quality of life is very poor and the dog is in distress.

If she's 15 I wouldn't be leaving her at all for holidays but I'd not enjoy one anyway for worrying about the dog

My old girl had to be put to sleep last year and towards the end she was on medication for her heart 3 times a day, one tablet was a diuretic so she also needed to wee more often so I'd have to be around to let her out. I could never be out for and hour or two and obviously didn't have a holiday. I wouldn't have been able to enjoy one because I'd be worrying about the dog not being given her medication at the right times or whether she'd become stressed from missing me and make her heart worse. My biggest fear was that she would become unwell and die if I left her to go on holiday.

Our time with them on earth is so short I would go through it all of the stress, worry and upheaval again for the rest of my life if I could have her back.

Everyone tries to prepare you for getting a puppy by telling you how difficult it is and how much they rule your life but it's ok because the hardest part is only for a year or two.
WRONG nothing and nobody can prepare you for having a senior dog, it's like having a puppy all over again if they need to be on a strict feeding/medicine regime and can't be left for long but you also have the worry and stress that their time with you is coming to an end.

I haven´t read the entire thread, but my situation is virtually identical: I´m 60, living in a remote village where none of my neighbours could look after my 14 year old dog with incipient dementia and incontinence who is practically joined to me at the hip, no family nearby, friends understandably now unwilling to look after him given his incontinence (and I wouldn´t ask them anyway), etc. etc. I haven´t sent him to a kennels for years because he always came back skeletal. A house-sitter would be the only way forwards for me, but they´re far and few between in the country I live in. I´ve resigned myself to having a very limited life for his remaining (cherished) days.

i honestly had no idea how awful this whole thing was going to be.
jo keep thinking of her when we took her to the vets and i can't stop crying.
Have you got another dog? The house seems so empty

Our time with them on earth is so short I would go through it all of the stress, worry and upheaval again for the rest of my life if I could have her back.

That made me well up @BeansOnToast32.

nothing and nobody can prepare you for having a senior dog, it's like having a puppy all over again if they need to be on a strict feeding/medicine regime and can't be left for long but you also have the worry and stress that their time with you is coming to an end.

This in spades, the puppy years were a breeze compared to looking after a sick elderly dog, plus the added stress knowing what grief lies ahead.

I’d get a house sitter for when you are away . Our dog is nearly 13 and wasn’t really old at all until NY day this year when he became seriously unwell and turned from a very fit terrier to a very old dog overnight . He’s now much better and on medication but he has to have someone with him at all times so we’ve just adapted and make sure that either myself , my husband or daughter are indoors . Previously he could be left at home for a few hours quite happily .

Oh this thread has me so emotional. I lost my dog last year, she was very very attached for me and did limit some of the things I did. But I didn't want her to be sad or confused and I miss her everyday. I'm so glad I was by her side and her by mine.

It's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to get another dog though to be honest. As it's such a hard phase to go through.

OP you sound a lovely owner, it's clear you will always have her best interests at heart. I think a new check up at the vets and then one every so often is probably a good idea. They can go downhill so so quickly.

This.

We have been through this @Outandabouts,
when our little girl had cancer and Diabetes. I had to test her blood sugars as well, which I did by sticking a quite substantial needle into a vein in her ear - the vet provided the needles, and I used my own glucose monitor to test her blood. She needed walking very frequently as she became incontinent, so I would take her for little walks throughout the night as well. We had 3 one week holidays booked that year, and ended up missing all of them, because I wouldn't put her in Kennels when she needed so much love and care, and I doubt that they would have even accepted her. I couldn't have left her anyway, it would have broken my heart. She also started having fits.

Some people would have had their dog put to sleep by that stage, but she was on a strong painkiller, and seemed happy enough, even when I was taking her blood - I would talk softly and lovingly to her while I was doing it - and I'm sure she realised that I was doing it for her own good. She was always a "food based" dog, it was her greatest joy, and she wasn't even a Labrador! So we didn't have her put to sleep until she started to refuse all food. That is when we knew that her quality of life was no longer enjoyable for her. That was the worst day of my life, I have never cried so much.

OP we're the same. We've just accepted we need to give up holidays and days out for the time being.

Hard in a way, cos we're both recently retired and there's so much we'd like to do, but she's worth it

We’re in a similar situation right now. 14 year old cross with long history of issues which didn’t stop her up until a few month ago. We went away and she took a turn and we’ve decided this week her quality of life isn’t getting any better and no where near what it was - she can’t enjoy the things in life she used to - and now has vestibular disease. She won’t get better. Sleeping, eating (a bit) and wobbling around the garden isn’t a life. She’s confused and falling over when walking/toileting isn’t fair on her.

We had booked to be away this coming week but we can’t leave her with anyone like this, even with our lovely pet sitter who she loves. If things take a turn, we want to be there. She’s not fit to travel now. We’re going to enjoy her final few days with us and then say goodbye. We think it’s the right decision for her but it’s so horrible.

I don't know, but our life changed with our young pup. He was in and out of pound for the first 6 months of his life. Eventually, he got left there. I got him at 7 months. He is now 2 and a bit, but I can't bring myself to leave him in kennels.

Mine were the same. They wouldn’t put him in kennels and wouldn’t go anywhere without him. I was determined not to do that so ours went into kennels straight after her second vaccinations so she got used to it from the start.

I’m a soft bugger though so, in your position, I’d just reconcile myself to a bit of a quiet life until she goes @Outandabouts. As a pp says, very sadly it won’t be for very long.

Ours is thirteen, we take her with us on holiday, she's happy to travel just sleeps. She's still sprightly so likes a walk wherever we are. If she needs to stay home my adult dc or exh have her. I wouldn't leave her for a holiday as neither she nor I would be very happy but have left her overnight a couple of times with exh and she missed me less than I missed her.

@orangelotus I'm so sorry having my girl pts was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. She was my soul dog, she knew exactly what I wanted or needed from her without me having to say a word. She brought me so much joy.

I got another dog soon after my last, a puppy and she's just turning 9months now. I knew I'd need to get another, my whole life revolved around my last dog and I just didn't know how to function without one. My whole daily routine was based around her, I don't have children and I work from home. I just didn't know what to do with myself and the grief was overwhelming.

Getting another dog was the best thing for me, it gave me purpose again. I had a reason to get out of bed, I was so busy running round after the puppy making sure she wasn't getting up to mischief or eating something she shouldn't that I didn't get much time to sit and dwell.

I was worried I'd make comparisons between them or I'd not be able to form a strong bond because I had such a special bond with my last dog. I shouldn't have worried, I love her to bits, she's been hard work, frustrating and an absolute pain at times but she's brought so much joy and made me laugh every single day and I'll be forever grateful to her that she pulled me out of that black hole.

She's starting to calm right down now and will sit and sleep on me for hours at a time and she knows her little routine and has her own quirks. I'm getting glimpses of the dog she will be when she's matured and I love it but sometimes when she's peaceful and snuggled up on me napping I just look at her and cry because I know what's to come even though it's hopefully years and years away. 😭

I wouldn't put a dog like this into kennels, or with a home boarder or a borrow my doggy stranger - but I would have a dog sitter stay in your home and ideally someone local that you can introduce her to and spend some time with so they're not a stranger.

Realistically, you could have months or another couple of years, so investing some time in getting her comfy with a dog sitter is a good idea.

Living with an old dog is emotionally tough, and practically, also often awkward and difficult - but also very rewarding at times. My oldie (14) is a sweetheart, loves his cuddles, still up for a game but much more sleepy.

He's just started on Vitofyllin which has helped his cognitive abilities a fair bit, reducing his confusion a lot, is your dog on anything like that?