To have wanted to put my horse to sleep before she became a “welfare case”

[blinkybell]

This happened a couple of months ago now, but it made an awful time so much harder than it needed to be.

I had an elderly horse with arthritis. She retired about 4 years ago now. We managed her pain with regular pain relief and supplements and the odd top up if she’d been titting about. She had slowly declined over the last year and found this winter hard going so I’d kind of made up my mind that I’d let her have a last spring and then think about PTS before the ground got too hard/heat/flies in summer.

A few weeks ago she was really uncomfortable and we struggled to get her field sound again. We’d had periods before where she was uncomfortable and after a couple of days on extra pain relief she was fine. I’d never got any sense from her before that she’d had enough. This time I did so I made the appointment.

The vet arrived, she checked my old girl over and asks me if perhaps we could try some different pain relief, some different supplements and that my horse wasn’t “a welfare case” yet.

The whole conversation was horrible - I pointed out that I wanted to give her a calm, peaceful and dignified end, before the pain became too much to bear, and most certainly before she became a welfare case. I’d always had a bit of a fear that I’d find her down in her field, unable to get up and it would be stressful and chaotic. She’d been the most amazing horse, and that I owed it to her to give her the best end I could and not just keep her going for the sake of it. We’d tried so many different supplements and pain relief over the years and I didn’t think anything would magically cure her arthritis.

I ended up feeling like I was arguing with the vet about killing my horse and, (this is probably going to sound mad) but it upset me that this whole conversation was in front of her.

Deep down, I made the right decision, I gave her the ending she deserved but, rightly or wrongly, the whole time I felt like I was being judged.

I think it's kinder to do it before it gets to crisis stage, and as they get older it can feel like you're lurching from one crisis to the next. I think you did the right thing, even though it might have been tempting to go with the false hope of other ways of managing the pain.

❤️ better a week too soon than a day too late.

You were not unreasonable at all. I had to have my elderly dog PTS a few months ago. Checked by the senior vet, her back legs were collapsing. Made an appointment and the young vet said “oh, she’s seems bright still”

I said - yes, she is but then there’s this - and I set her down. Back legs gave way and her bum hit the floor.

You did the best for your horse. She would have known that. You took the right action for her.

Better a day too early than a day too late. You gave her the best, least stressful, least painful end possible.

Oh that's very sad to read
We had our old boy PTS at the end of January when he made it clear to us he'd had enough and was ready to go.
I had had the vet out in October to discuss him/end of life which she had entirely agreed with, upped his meds and told us he'd let us know when it was time. So for us on the day, it was a case of us agreeing it was Time and then phoning the vet. It was as straightforward as it could be in the circumstances, even down to the weather being nice. One of my worries had been the flesh truck getting stuck in the field if it was wet and muddy.

I am so sorry you had to go through what you did, nobody needs that after the soul searching you've already gone through to act in their best interests and give them a bit of dignity rather than it all being a horrible crisis with a sad outcome.

I sadly think vets are obliged to push treatment sometimes, now that they’re mostly run by big companies.

I’m sorry you had to go through this OP. I had to have my beloved mare PTS under similar circumstances last summer. Luckily all the vets I spoke to were very understanding.1

Thank you!

I am happy with my decision. It was time.

It was as lovely as these things can be. We were lucky with the weather - a beautifully sunny day, she’d been able to spend a couple of hours out without her rug, had rolled in the muddiest part of the field and was absolutely plastered in mud, and she went while scoffing her way through a chocolate covered apple and half a bunch of bananas.

I was half convinced that, once the decision and the appointment was made, she might go in her sleep in her stable - it would mean having to remove the front of the stable block to get her out and she’d find that hilarious

It's always a difficult conversation - but I think she was being professional in making sure that you were aware of any possible options, and when you were clear that you felt this was the right thing to do, she proceeded in the caring, gentle way she did.

I had a similar conversation about one of my animals, but they asked me to think about it overnight so I wasn't acting out of panic or fear of the expense. When I returned at 7.05am the following morning, they didn't ask any more questions because they knew I was absolutely sure and made it the gentlest and calmest I'd ever experienced as a pet owner. I appreciate when you have to make this decision for a larger animal, there isn't so much scope for last minute decisions though, so your vet needed to have this conversation with you one last time, rather than potentially almost take over in a way where you could have felt that maybe there was more you could have done.

In short, you absolutely did the right thing and although it feels raw, the vet did the right thing in making sure it was absolutely what you wanted and was right for your horse. You fulfilled your responsibility to your horse totally.

Mmm I think this was a bit clumsy of the vet, who possibly hadn't properly looked at your horses recent case notes or reason for the call out.

If you feel inclined, a letter to the practice explaining how this approach made you feel might be in order - not an angry complaint as such, but a 'I think this vet needs a bit of a chat about how to handle this sort of situation'.

Maybe she was having an off day, maybe she'd rushed out and misunderstood, thinking you were still looking for ways to extend your horses time with you and wanted reassurance... I dunno. Maybe she is genuinely a bit misguided.

I agree with you, better too soon than too late from the animals point of view, the weather will eventually get better but who knows when, we could easily have snow, ice, torrential rain or hot sun in the coming weeks! You've done exactly the right thing and I just wish more owners of old animals would think about it a bit more carefully from teh animals POV rather than their own.

I had my old pony PTS a couple of years ago, I always said I'd rather it be 24 hours too early than 24 hours too late. He had multiple health problems and he let me know when the time was right. I think the vet could have been more sensitive.

Was it a new vet OP? I generally find equine vets quite pragmatic. I’ve seen a few older horses left hanging on and it’s been cruel. I know of one who the vet, farrier and even the guy delivering the hay was telling the owner is time to let him go.

I am so so sorry for your loss and the uncaring attitude of that vet. I hope you have found peace as I am sure your beloved horse has done and is frolicking in fiends now of green grass and sunshine.

YANBU, not at all.

Letting animals we love have a peaceful, dignified end, and preventing further suffering, is the last act of kindness we can do for them.

And I'm sorry for your loss.

Oh my gosh, you so clearly did the right thing. The vet made comments based on their medical knowledge; you made decisions based on love's knowledge.

These end-of-life decisions are so distressing. I think that whatever path you had chosen, and whatever conversations and other details preceded the decision, you would be agonising over them now. For example, perhaps if the vet had just said 'righto' and spared you that conversation, you would now be worrying that you hadn't talked things through properly first.
No matter how those last days and hours and minutes had gone, you would have tormented yourself with ruminations, what-ifs, self-doubts. Those thought processes are part of the pain of loss and will subside with time,

From the vets perspective if they put the horse to sleep then they lose a client. If they keep selling you more and more different supplements and pain meds then they continue making money. You made the right choice, don't feel bad.

You did the right thing.

Two things I've been told by vets that I found very helpful were 1. That often the "right moment" isn't a moment, it's a window, when it's neither too soon nor too late. Any time in that window is the right time. 2. Just because we can doesn't mean we should.

Remember that you did the best thing you could for your lovely horse, and there is no risk now of her feeling pain or being frightened.

There are far too many people who let their animals carry on when they should just be braver and let them go when the animal still has a bit of dignity left. If the animal can barely walk, can’t get up, is soiling itself regularly then you’ve left it too long.

well done for making the right decision for your girl at the right time and I’m sorry the vet made it so much harder

You did your girl a kindness.

She would have likely had a fall in the field and it been a totally nightmare.

Get a different vet. Most know that pts a much loved horse is something owners dread 💐