To have wanted to put my horse to sleep before she became a “welfare case”

[blinkybell]

This happened a couple of months ago now, but it made an awful time so much harder than it needed to be.

I had an elderly horse with arthritis. She retired about 4 years ago now. We managed her pain with regular pain relief and supplements and the odd top up if she’d been titting about. She had slowly declined over the last year and found this winter hard going so I’d kind of made up my mind that I’d let her have a last spring and then think about PTS before the ground got too hard/heat/flies in summer.

A few weeks ago she was really uncomfortable and we struggled to get her field sound again. We’d had periods before where she was uncomfortable and after a couple of days on extra pain relief she was fine. I’d never got any sense from her before that she’d had enough. This time I did so I made the appointment.

The vet arrived, she checked my old girl over and asks me if perhaps we could try some different pain relief, some different supplements and that my horse wasn’t “a welfare case” yet.

The whole conversation was horrible - I pointed out that I wanted to give her a calm, peaceful and dignified end, before the pain became too much to bear, and most certainly before she became a welfare case. I’d always had a bit of a fear that I’d find her down in her field, unable to get up and it would be stressful and chaotic. She’d been the most amazing horse, and that I owed it to her to give her the best end I could and not just keep her going for the sake of it. We’d tried so many different supplements and pain relief over the years and I didn’t think anything would magically cure her arthritis.

I ended up feeling like I was arguing with the vet about killing my horse and, (this is probably going to sound mad) but it upset me that this whole conversation was in front of her.

Deep down, I made the right decision, I gave her the ending she deserved but, rightly or wrongly, the whole time I felt like I was being judged.

The vet is professionally obliged to inform the animal owner what treatment options are possible, so the owner can decide which to pursue.

The vet did that, and you made your decision.

Don't blame the vet for your grieving.

Another one to say you did exactly the right thing. We know our animals so much better than the vets do, we see them every day and see the decline when they are old or ill. I had mine (aged 33) put down last year due to laminitis. The vet did offer treatment options but the chances of success were not high and all came with a massive impact on her quality of life, and she was already in a lot of pain. It was so hard to make the call, even though i knew in my heart of hearts it was right. Thankfully I had a friend to call who helped me make sense of it and having talked it through the vet also agreed, and was wonderful, which helped.

I think there might be a couple of things at play...

1. Vets don't enjoy putting animals down and like treating them so will always favour treating if there is any option over PTS. But they don't have to witness the daily struggle for the animal during treatment which might just be dragging or the process with the same end result.
2. Lots of owners really don't want to make the call so it will be a surprise to the vet that you had already thought through and made the decision so somewhat unexpected.
3. Perhaps they also worry you might regret your decision later and complain they didn't encourage you to try something else?

Regardless a truly brave and compassionate vet should be there to support you through that process and not make it more difficult.

I thought about it a lot for a long time after, but I think a year on I have made peace with it I hope the same happens for you. X

to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. My boy is 27 and has had arthritis for years - it's managed at the moment with supplements and medication but I know that the day will come when it can't be anymore and I only hope I can be calm enough and brave enough to help him say goodbye in the best possible way. I think it's wonderful that you have done that. Hope you're doing ok.

I have been through this decision with cats and dogs, and my maxim has always been that I’d rather make the hard decision a week early than a day late.

As you say, @blinkybell, you wanted your beloved horse to have a peaceful, calm death, without pain - and that was your final gift to her.

So sorry for your loss OP.
You did the right thing.

You totally made the right call. I would have been furious if my vet had wanted to try any more treatments with my aged arthritic horse. No way was I going to let him suffer. I absolutely hate the ‘let’s give them the last summer’ when the ground will be hard and the heat and flies will harass them. You did the right thing. If you get another, consider which vet you want/maybe change practices.

Better a week too soon than an hour too late.

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you made the best decision for your horse and I'm sorry the vet was not supportive.

this.

Do you think the vet was making sure you knew you had made the right choice?

they gave you your options, you knew none of them were right for your horse, leaving the one option you decided on?

surely better than finding out after there were other things you could have done?

Oh bless you!
I wasn’t there of course but the vet probably just worded that badly. So many owners want to throw everything at their pet just to squeeze an extra few days out of them. I think they were just trying to offer another option but they should have dropped it as soon as you made your point clear.

Euthanasia means good death. Your lovely horse just lived day by day. They don’t look forward to spring or Christmas, they just live in the moment. You making the decision to let them go with dignity is nothing but a kind thing.

You made a selfless decision. Please don’t beat yourself up over a comment that the vet made.

The Vet did give her opinion on what options were available and the OP decided that PTS was the correct and right decision- the Vet should respect that and not argue.

Horses can go downhill very quickly and as owners it is up to us to make the right decision to let them go with dignity- especially if the OPs horse has gone down in the field and struggled to get up.

OP I would contact the Practice and mention that you wasn’t happy with the Vet that came out. But you made the right decision. You know your horse.

You 100% have done right by her…I cared for a horse that I’d regularly find unable to get up and it was horrific each time. I was relieved when they moved yards but I wish they’d had him PTS. He’d been an international Showjumper and deserved more dignity in his twilight years.

I’m really surprised at your vet, most promote owners making tough decisions in order to be kind, especially with horses so they’re not passed around, etc.

Sorry for your loss but please take comfort in knowing you’ve done her proud 💐

Disclaimer, I do understand the vet making you aware of alternative options but they sounded argumentative/trying to push you in another direction

I know a young vet who just lurves animals 🙄 and the stories she tells of owners who in her opinion PTS too early are ridiculously naive and patronising. I put it down to a lack of life experience.

I love my dog, he is a huge part of my family. But I hope when the time comes I have the strength and courage to do what you have done for your horse. Animals dont know why they are in pain or feeling shite zonked out on drugs, they live in the moment, and they dont know they are on a downward slope healthwise and or is never getting better. They deserve not to have their lives cruelly extended beyond what is comfortable for misplaced human feelings.

Better a day too soon than an hour too late.

Your vet wasn't unreasonable to offer other options though either.

Sorry for your loss 💐. Perhaps she wasn’t a very experienced horse vet , is it a purely equine practice ? I’ve lost 4 equines over the years and I’ve never had an issue with a vet about it . Was she foreign as I have had some peculiar dealings with European vets and horses .

And I’m afraid this is why I prefer a very experienced slaughter man. They never make you feel bad, they never try to talk you into or out of anything and they deliver instant pain free death.

im so sorry for your loss. As someone who has spent many years caring for the elderly and infirm horses and dogs, I confirm you did nothing wrong and I would and have done exactly the same.
the last one for me was October, one of the kid’s arthritic ponies. We gave him one last summer and said goodbye before he spent the winter slipping in mud and stiff in the cold.

Caveat- my horses are at home and this pony never suffered laminitis, and had free roaming barn shelter from sun and a stream to walk in. Summer was his favourite and he had been retired many years.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely mare.

You did the right thing. Please don't doubt yourself. You did what a loving sensible owner would do and have your horse a dignified end.

@PrincessofWellies and @Ratatouille1
sorry, hadn’t seen your posts.

exactly agreed- slaughter man. And yes, still available and will do individual or group cremation and return ashes in a box, urn or scatter tube.

You did the right thing OP, and god knows it’s not easy. I have a horse who is 25 and has arthritis, I love her like no other horse before her, and I am dreading the day when it comes. At the moment I genuinely believe she’s happy (although she costs me a bloody fortune to keep going), but when it gets to the point where she can no longer get down and have a roll, and seems to have had enough I will do what needs to be done. The connection a horse and its owner has is deep and in this circumstance I think you were far better placed than the vet to say what’s right.

Also nice one for making the hardest thing in the world even harder, dickhead vet 🙄

You action the final act of love for your horse. You did the right thing. Sorry about your loss.

We are having a similar situation with our family dog. He has stage 4 cancer and is 10yrs old (which is great going for his breed). He is struggling with breathing but still thinks he's a pup in the garden.

Some days are better but it's horrible to hear him. We have prepped the children that it's simply his time and it would be nicer to PTS than have him suffocate himself and be found in morning by one of them. When I think it's maybe time, he goes outside and runs about like a loon and I'm then questioning myself as he's still active/eating etc.

Basically, you know your horse, it was absolutely the right thing to do.

Thank you everyone 💐

I think what made it harder, was that I wasn’t expecting it.

I hadn’t booked a check up or asked them to come out and get their opinion and have a chat about her meds. We’d done all that at the million previous appointments over the years. I’d specifically booked an appointment to have my horse put to sleep. No one at the practice was surprised when I called to make that appointment. The practice had booked the fallen stock man

I appreciate none of us were at our best that day, but she made me feel like I just wasn’t trying hard enough to keep my girl going. I don’t think she’d read our notes to be honest, otherwise surely she would have known the conversation wouldn’t be welcome.

And in any case, I don’t think it’s a vet’s place to judge someone’s reasons for putting their horse to sleep. I think that for horses, there are many fates far worse than a calm, pain free death - and becoming a welfare case is one of them!

@Floralnomad yes, it’s a purely equine practice. We’ve been using them for years and they’ve always brilliant. I don’t think the vet was newly qualified, but she is new to the practice. She was calm and gentle and confident with my girl once she started, I have no complaints about her actual care

So sorry and completely agree. A horse becoming a 'welfare case' could easily become a painful, frightening and dangerous situation. A horse is not a cat that can be wrapped in a blanket and picked up. If the end is shortly inevitable why hold on and risk it becoming a frightening and painful end.

As the saying goes, better a day too soon than a day late.