I've NC for this in case the details are outing.
For background DH, DD (7) and I live in a 3 bed house. We have a spare room and both work full time.
DD is a quiet child and we are a chilled family. I am very much an introvert which is possibly why I am having such strong feelings about this.
6/7 weeks ago a friend had a marriage breakdown and is currently staying in our spare room. This is a minor inconvience in that we can't use the room as an office and have less privacy but it's not a big deal. He is looking for his own place but the renting market is crazy at the moment.
My issue is that he asks every weekend for his 2 children to stay over, they are 7 and 5. We said yes a few times as he was going through a rough time and we wanted to be kind however it seems to be an expectation now and it's making me feel quite stressed.
AIBU to say no to his children staying over?
My reasons:
- It impacts our family plans
- it impacts my ability to do weekend overtime (this OT is very generously paid and I WFH) as the hous is chaos and noise when they are here. If it was just DD she would be easily entertained/taken out by DH.
- Impacts DDs routines - she is woken up a lot earlier than usual by the noise when they are up, then ia grumpy
- not fair on DD having to share all her stuff all weekend. She just wants to spend time watching a film/playing/crafting in peace sometimes.
- not fair on his children being told no all the time as they are getting out DDs stuff etc i.e I have to keep stopping them from getting DDs Switch out as I don't want them messing up her saved games
- not fair on his children as they are having to sleep in 1 bed with him also, and they have non of their own stuff etc
- no time to clean the house plus lots of extra mess
- they are constantly hungry and eat so much of our food
-no weekend downtime for us
I feel bad saying no as he obviously wants to see his children, and we have no physical reason for refusing, but it is really affecting our family status quo and generally stressing me as I feel like my weekends are no longer available for downtime. I just want to sit downstairs in my PJs on a Sunday morning and watch some rubbish TV!!