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Original poster

To not really understand life and think it's all a bit boring and pointless?

55 replies

thisishowgooditgets · 27/03/2023 19:37

I try and romanticise life but sometimes I just think 'is this really it?' I have had the day off and was on a walk earlier, it was sunny and felt like Spring and I was out in nature and I could appreciate it, but at the same time I felt like 'is this really all there is? Is this as good as it gets?' All I could think about was that tomorrow I had work.

On my walk I saw some young children (maybe 3 or 4 years old) running around and chasing each other and I miss that. I miss being able to live in the moment, without realising the long stretch of the mundane that lies ahead.

Even special things everyone look forward to are the same. There's no magic to life anymore, it's all just mundane.

I don't think I'm depressed, just feel like there must be more to life than this? I'm back and forth with my faith, and I think that's part of the reason I'm struggling. Why did God bother?

OP posts:
user1471453601 · 27/03/2023 19:44

As Peggy Lee once said (perhaps paraphrased a bit)

"Is that all there is?

If that's all there is dear friend

let's keep on dancing

break out the booze, if that's all there is"

BibbleandSqwauk · 27/03/2023 19:45

Well I'm a total atheist. I have absolutely no sense of fate, destiny or meaning as such. It's trite but it really is what you choose to make of it. If you want something more to look forward to, plan it, work toward it. Naval gazing is rarely helpful.

Hellocatshome · 27/03/2023 19:47

If you always do what you've always done then you will always get what you always got.

Yes thats all there is, unless you do something different.

GettingThereCharleyBear · 27/03/2023 19:48

Drop God. Life makes much more sense then 😄.

the80sweregreat · 27/03/2023 19:48

I hear you op
It does feel very pointless some days
Whenever I say this to people I do get mixed reactions tbh : as this thread will show I'm sure.

UrsulaPandress · 27/03/2023 19:48

I’m with Peggy.

Hic.

cartagenagina · 27/03/2023 19:49

I’m not religious or spiritual either. I’m in the “Life in meaningless and everything dies” camp.

However, I am very happy in the moment and get joy and comfort from small things. I also plan ahead so I have things to look forward to.

You shouldn’t need “magic” or to “romanticise “ in order to just enjoy each day, well, most days anyway! Who/what/where do you love? That’s where the answer lies

minipie · 27/03/2023 19:51

I think not having a faith helps me with this. I don’t expect there to be any meaning.

We are just animals at the end of the day - like any other animal, our aim is to survive, to keep the species going (collectively), and to have a bit of fun,
love and comfort where we can.

We don’t look at animals’ lives and think “what’s the point” even though some of them have an objectively much harder life (eg spending all day finding food and hiding from predators). We think their existence is worthwhile even if it’s hard and mundane so why wouldn’t ours be?

Or another viewpoint: Realistically the only alternative is death, and I prefer mundane to death.

Babdoc · 27/03/2023 19:53

OP, what is it you want, that you feel is missing? A purpose, a hobby, a career, children, a sense of being valued, of making a difference?
Because only you can make that happen, whatever it is.
Life is a precious gift, and during it we are asked to give and receive love, not just to friends and family but to others in need. To try and leave the world a little better than we found it. That is all God asks of us, in return for His unconditional love for us.

HeddaGarbled · 27/03/2023 19:55

ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country JFK

PiccaZ · 27/03/2023 19:59

There is no point OP. There’s no god either.

We’re just particularly clever animals with self awareness.

But think how fucking magic that in itself is. How weird the whole thing is. How bloody amazing it is that you are here right now, right at this moment.

Heres something I like to do when I feel the way you do.

I imagine that I died and went to heaven, I begged to come back to see my children one more time; to see another summer, to swim in the sea and drink wine, to have sex and laugh and dance and cry. Close your eyes and imagine you know you’re here for a second time - you got another chance.

DivineAffliction · 27/03/2023 20:03

Drop God, and maybe change jobs, if the fact that you have work tomorrow is lowering your mood?

Slimjimtobe · 27/03/2023 20:04

I totally get this feeling too
i used to be a practising Catholic but I’m no longer of any faith (just go through the motions as dh is)

the church cover ups and scandals have sickened me to the core

life is good for me at the moment but I do find it hard & then knowing dementia is a likely future (watching family go through it) fills me with dread

but I exercise and take St. John’s wort and take pleasure in my children laughing so I just go with it & try and be happy but totally with you on it - what’s the point ?

waterlego · 27/03/2023 20:09

minipie · 27/03/2023 19:51

I think not having a faith helps me with this. I don’t expect there to be any meaning.

We are just animals at the end of the day - like any other animal, our aim is to survive, to keep the species going (collectively), and to have a bit of fun,
love and comfort where we can.

We don’t look at animals’ lives and think “what’s the point” even though some of them have an objectively much harder life (eg spending all day finding food and hiding from predators). We think their existence is worthwhile even if it’s hard and mundane so why wouldn’t ours be?

Or another viewpoint: Realistically the only alternative is death, and I prefer mundane to death.

Yes, this. We are little more than chimps in clothes.

We are not owed magic or romance or even happiness. Those things tend to be fleeting and rare- and that’s precisely what makes them so special. Try aiming for contentment rather than happiness. It’s a lot more realistic, and a lot more valuable imo.

Mangolist · 27/03/2023 20:16

Yes. This is me all over. I ask people what the point of life is, and they look at me as if I'm mad. I just don't get it. I've had a really up and down one and am probably the happiest and most settled I've ever been. I love my job, my amazing family, we manage, have holidays, and are on the surface, pretty OK.
But.
What is the point? I have 30 years max left, I reckon, and what's it all for?
God, I sound like a selfish misery!

Notlikelysaidthedragontothefly · 27/03/2023 20:17

There is a huge world out there- some beautiful ‘out of this world’, surreal places to explore. So many cultures and tribes. Adventures to be had. Just depends on where you look and how you look.

I’m in the same place you are in. I have good days and very low days but I like to feel that I’m headed somewhere (my faith helps me).

waterlego · 27/03/2023 20:22

Mangolist · 27/03/2023 20:16

Yes. This is me all over. I ask people what the point of life is, and they look at me as if I'm mad. I just don't get it. I've had a really up and down one and am probably the happiest and most settled I've ever been. I love my job, my amazing family, we manage, have holidays, and are on the surface, pretty OK.
But.
What is the point? I have 30 years max left, I reckon, and what's it all for?
God, I sound like a selfish misery!

If, like me, you are atheist, then you have to accept that there really is no ‘point’ to any of it. ‘What is it all for?’ Absolutely nothing. There will be no day of reckoning, no ‘big reveal’ at the end of it all. So just try and be in the moment as much as possible. I find yoga and meditation useful for quietening the monkey chatter in my head and helping me just ‘be in my body’.

froggyfrogfrog · 27/03/2023 20:25

The Bible is brutally honest about the futility of this world. Just glance through the book of Ecclesiastes. It's one of the most depressing books you'll read, but wonderfully honest.

Ecclesiastes 2:17:

"So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

But for Christians, gloriously, it doesn't stop there. This world is just a shadow of the New Creation.

When sin entered the world, the earth was cursed with futility and misery. But God became man and came to earth, to bear this curse for us, to take upon himself the penalty for the sin that ruined creation, and provide a way into a New Creation, where we can dwell with God forever.

Romans 8:20 "For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God."

Revelation 21:3-4

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

HowardKirksConscience · 27/03/2023 20:27

user1471453601 · 27/03/2023 19:44

As Peggy Lee once said (perhaps paraphrased a bit)

"Is that all there is?

If that's all there is dear friend

let's keep on dancing

break out the booze, if that's all there is"

Written by Leiber and Stoller. Once of the best songs of all time.

carriedout · 27/03/2023 20:31

I don't think I'm depressed but the things you say sound a lot like depression or burn out.

Moveforward · 27/03/2023 20:32

When I lost my Mum last year I did "wake up"

I don't have any faith so it's a case of I have x days left and x is impossible to know.

I had two jobs and one was making me ill. I was lucky enough to be able to live off the other - so that's gone. If I get bored I'll do voluntary stuff that'd not tying and that I'll enjoy. I'll.walk. I'll spend more time enjoying life.

It I'd scary when you realise each day is one less.

TheFlowersofRomance · 27/03/2023 20:34

After some people close to me passed away, increasingly I realised the point or the purpose is just other people. If you can concern yourself with helping them, making them your focus, the rest takes care of itself.
I’m still working on focusing on this but it has taken away the frightening or depressing ‘what’s the point of it all’ moments for me.

Mangolist · 27/03/2023 20:43

waterlego · 27/03/2023 20:22

If, like me, you are atheist, then you have to accept that there really is no ‘point’ to any of it. ‘What is it all for?’ Absolutely nothing. There will be no day of reckoning, no ‘big reveal’ at the end of it all. So just try and be in the moment as much as possible. I find yoga and meditation useful for quietening the monkey chatter in my head and helping me just ‘be in my body’.

Show quote history

Yes. You're right! I overthink far too much.

Isthisexpected · 27/03/2023 20:48

The PP's suggestion of imagining a second chance has really resonated with me. Would this work for you OP?

waterlego · 27/03/2023 20:51

Mangolist · 27/03/2023 20:43

Yes. You're right! I overthink far too much.

Show quote history

I do too! Which is why I’ve given all of this type of stuff too much a lot of thought 😬

And that’s how I discovered that meditation is actually useful and not as wanky as I used to think it was. 😆