To not really understand life and think it's all a bit boring and pointless?

[thisishowgooditgets]

I try and romanticise life but sometimes I just think 'is this really it?' I have had the day off and was on a walk earlier, it was sunny and felt like Spring and I was out in nature and I could appreciate it, but at the same time I felt like 'is this really all there is? Is this as good as it gets?' All I could think about was that tomorrow I had work.

On my walk I saw some young children (maybe 3 or 4 years old) running around and chasing each other and I miss that. I miss being able to live in the moment, without realising the long stretch of the mundane that lies ahead.

Even special things everyone look forward to are the same. There's no magic to life anymore, it's all just mundane.

I don't think I'm depressed, just feel like there must be more to life than this? I'm back and forth with my faith, and I think that's part of the reason I'm struggling. Why did God bother?

I don't think the 'small things' necessarily have to be entirely healthy things either. I'm counting down the days to the next UK General Election, because there's a chance it will be a calamitous Tory collapse that might see some of their most verminous MP's out of a job. Is it particularly wholesome to derive pleasure from some other person's misfortune? Probably not, but I don't care really because if it does happen I'll still find it enormously enjoyable, and the people I have in mind certainly appear to have no compunction when it comes to making other people's lives a misery, so screw them.

Obviously I don't continue to exist purely because I want to see other people suffer, but you have to take the small pleasures as and when they arise otherwise it's really easy to start wondering about the bigger picture.

It occurred to me on the back of a recent conversation that there'll probably be a maximum of three generations after me before I'm pretty much forgotten. No descendant after that will have even met me
It was mind blowing (😅 I'm a simple soul) as it made me reflect that unless I do something heinous or suddenly invent something miraculous I'll just fade into oblivion and so will all my worries and achievements that I've obsessed about over the years. So I may as well just focus on getting the best I can out of this limited time. Because ultimately it doesn't matter. Shame I was nearly 50 when I had this revelation!

Life is basically

be born
be educated
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
get too old to work
die

That’s it.

I’ve never understood why so many people ask ‘what’s it all for?’ Where does the idea come from that life should have any meaning other than merely being a life?

However, if one needs a purpose, I suggest opening the Good Book. The Good Book is ‘God Bless You, Mr Rosewater’ by Kurt Vonnegut, in which the protagonist is asked to baptise newborn twins..

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of - God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

@AngeloMysterioso yes that's pretty much it in a nutshell. Worra life eh