To buy my 15 year old alcohol?

[N467]

Need opinions as to me I don't see an issue but my partner does so maybe I am overlooking things.

My 15 year old DS has started to take an interest in alcohol probably around the time he turned 15, 6 months ago. He doesn't drink outside of the house (I may be being naive but he is very open and honest with me and I've never smelt/suspected him of drinking but I could of course be wrong)
Myself and partner are not drinkers, my partner is practically teetotal and I might have a couple of drinks every other weekend, the odd night out drinking once every 6 months or so.
My DS has tried a few drinks, e.g a little bit of wine, a beer and cider and the only one he quite likes are flavoured ciders. So probably about once every 3 weeks I buy him 1 cider to have when he wants. I don't see any harm in it, it's only 1 and I think that by introducing it as something to enjoy every now and then it will hopefully help him to see that alcohol is to be enjoyed in moderation every now and then, not for the sole purpose of getting drunk etc. My partner says I'm being irresponsible and he is only 15 so shouldn't be drinking at all.
By 15 I was secretly drinking out with friends, my partner says he didn't touch it until he was older so maybe my view on it is wrong.
So please tell me if I am unreasonable?

no, way too young, and starting too early. It may be legal, but it isn't sensible

Well, my mum allowed me to drink on special occasions from 15. Bacardi breezes and WKDs 😂

I never lied to her about alcohol, never snuck out booze, was always open about drinking.

And from about 20 I realised I didn't really enjoy it and have been mostly teetotal since so I am taking the same approach as my mum

So far have a 19 year old who doesnt drink at all and a 17 year old who's tried it twice and says he hates it.

I think its a sensible approach. I had been to pubs/clubs several times and been a drunken state a few times while I was 15.

Dm was quite strict with alcohol when we were growing up, so it was a bit of a novelty when I was able.

Dc is almost 16 and has the occasional cider at home or at a family party. He does go to house parties with his mates, but even when I have picked him up in the early hours, he was in nowhere near a drunken state.

It seems like he has decent role models in you both, and letting him have a little now and again will likely to make thing of it for him.

It's fine. You're teaching him to drink responsibly, not loading him up with spirits. Our kids would have a drink with us from 15. A beer or small glass of wine, not lots and nothing too strong. As long as it's sociable and in total moderation then why not.

Clearly you have made your mind up.

Me, I look at the science and then make a decision
nhs says
https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/childrens-health/should-my-child-drink-alcohol/

But there are far more detailed studies on it.

Yours is 15 and drinking under supervision etc this follows the guidance from the nhs.

This is different situation to a parents buying them alcohol every night.
But this is your choice and decision.

why post? you have already made your decision.
some posters will agree and some won’t.

15 was the age that DM thought it was okay for me to have alcohol.
So began 33 years of heavy drinking.

I’m happily 2.5 years sober…but it took several attempts to get here. I’m sure there are plenty of people who started at a similar age and have been fine, but why risk it?

Yanbu, it's the most sensible way to introduce it, if it isn't forbidden, there's no novelty to it. It also discourages binge drinking imo too.

I think this is fine. I've never been strict around alcohol. That's what causes teens to sneak off and get wasted in fields, in my opinion. Don't make it a forbidden nectar and it loses the naughty appeal. My 15 and 14 year old both like fruity ciders. Every so often I will let them have one. At Christmas this year, they'll be 15 and 16 and I'll probably let them have a few. You're less likely to end up a fib wrong wreck on your first big night out if you're over the thrill of alcohol

My DF was pretty relaxed about me drinking from around 15. I'm 27 now and rarely drink at all.

It's fine. We done the same and we have a very sensible 18 year old who knows what he likes, knows his limits, and hardly drinks.

You say "why risk it" as if it's a given that drinking (very little) alcohol at 15 risks making an alcoholic, and forbidding it until 18 ensures that they won't. But that's really not how it works. Every child is different. Some may need firmer boundaries I suppose. But in general I agree with pp's that teaching youngsters to drink gradually and responsibly is way better than saying "no alcohol til you're 18" and then the minute they turn 18 leaving them to it with no guidance.

Also youngsters who want to drink will. I'd rather they drink with me than alone or with irresponsible friends.

Just like it's better to teach safe sex than to prone abstinence.

A big fat NO.

Their brains are still developing. He is a CHILD. Why would you intentionally give your CHILD alcohol?

All the ads on tv will tell you why it’s unsafe.

As if it's as black and white as 'I'd rather they have the odd drink at home with me than be getting hammered in the park with their mates." They're teens, they'll do BOTH! Honestly, do you take the same approach with smoking joints?

FWIW I have one late teen who drinks like a (drunk) fish and one who doesn't touch the stuff. Both brought up the same way, obviously. Personal anecdotes mean nothing - the research posted above tells you the real truth.

Allowing wine with dinner or a shandy in the pub is very different to adding booze to the weekly shop for him. It’s not being paired with food, nor is it a social event out. It’s pointless and I don’t know why you’d encourage it?

He likes fruity ciders because he’s a child. He may as well be having squash.

No, too young. He may be secretly drinking, but you certainly shouldn't be facilitating it.

I think 15 is a bit young as he is still growing. It's illegal to sell alcohol to under 18's for a reason.

Yes. This is how lots of people start. Why risk it.
Alcohol changes young brains too.

Are you buying him weed too op?

I have taught teenagers for 30 years and I’m a parent and he will get hopelessly drunk because he will think that you allow him to do it.

The fact that teenagers might drink and they have to hide It is a good thing. Don’t make it easier for them.

It’s a non issue for me. My DD’s (15 & 12) have had the odd bottle of kopperberg. They’ve never finished a single bottle so hardly raging alcoholics. I had the odd half lager or bottle of hooch when I was far younger than them.

Very sensible approach, OP, obviously.

As a parent of two early 20s kids, I really don't see the issue with this at 15-16 they were regularly having house parties around, and after GCSEs would much rather do it at home with our knowledge than do it behind our backs. It was pretty normal for at the age group (at least round here)

as an aside both at uni and neither now drink.

Its a sensible approach to me, its how I was brought up and when I left home age 17 id been allowed out drinking and clubbing for a few years previously (I looked older and there was no strict ID-ing back in the 90s). I shared a flat with several others, and those who had "strict" parents went off the rails in regards to alcohol and ended up in pretty dodgy situations through drinking far far too much. I got drunk, yeah, but never wasted...rarely sick or hungover...and often had stayed in watching TV rather than out clubbing.

Have carried this attitude towards drinking and allowed my (now adult) children to drink from 14/15- initially with us adults as a sociable thing and then to take an agreed amount to parties etc...one went a bit wild at 18+ and the other isn't fussy for alcohol...

At weddings I've allowed my 14/15 to drink and at Christmas. And to taste mine on odd other occasions.

I've bought her 4 cans to drink at parties and I tell her I expect her to be sensible and to drink only these. Ive said i wont be impressed if she comes out looking like shes drunk the cans, plus anything her friends bring.

I wouldn't let her just drink in the House though.

How much alcohol is in the fruit cider?
From Wiki:
The addition of sugar or extra fruit before a second fermentation increases the ethanol content of the resulting beverage. Cider alcohol content varies from 1.2% to 8.5% ABV or more in traditional English ciders, and 3.5% to 12% in continental ciders

I’d be worried about the higher alcohol contents, not so much about the lower end.