To expect DH not to cook stuff that triggers sickness in pregnancy

[dryingontheradiatior]

I am in the first trimester of pregnancy suffering with very bad nausea and food aversions.
DH is WFH and I asked him to nip downstairs to see to DD quickly as I'm exhausted and she needed something that required a lot of getting up and down etc, I just want 10 minutes sat down and he went to the gym on his lunch which I feel could have been spent giving me a breather...He does generally do a lot and understands I need to rest so I'm not gonna be too annoyed by this.

Anyway, he did come downstairs and sorted DD out. He also took the opportunity to cook something that smells awful. I think it's peri peri chicken or something.

I have very bad nausea and one of the reasons I'd sat down for a while was to try and let this pass. Now the house absolutely stinks. I've just shouted upstairs for him to come down, open windows and spray air freshener, which I think has irritated him slightly as he is trying to work. He has stayed upstairs.

This has also happened on two other occasions with some chicken steak things that made me run to the toilet to throw up.

AIBU? I feel like absolute trash and he knows that I can't deal with food smells. I'm not expecting people to eat only things I can tolerate whilst I feel like this as they'd be eating very little, but I don't think asking for the smells to be masked with air freshener is a lot? I don't know if I'm being OTT and sensitive right now or not.

I was hanging out the window to get some air

That bit confused me. It's nausea, I had bad nausea but just got on with it. I didn't ask my partner to change the food he was eating.

Your unreasonable to expect everyone to know what's going to set off. I bet you'd struggle to write a list yurself if asked. Your not unreasonable though to ask family members to use the fan/open windows etc but they should be allowed enough time to sit down and eat etc.
When I first saw this I was expecting maybe curry or kippers. I don't understand why you didn't just open the doors yourself or remove yourself, then mention it later.

Ha me too! Got some funny looks off the neighbours!
Even the fridge being opened and shut at the other end of our kitchen diner when I was WFH at the dining table had me hurling into a basin that I had to carry around the house with me.

There’s a particular song I listened to every day when I was pregnant with Dd in 2008. Now when I hear the song I feel sick! 😂

I couldn't stomach chicken at all when I was pregnant, so YANBU! He needs to open the window or not cook it at all.

I was sick for the whole pregnancy would stop the car on the way to work to puke weighed less at 9 months than before ended up in hospital it's still bloody unreasonable to call upstairs honey stop work and come down here to open the windows.

I was exactly the same! I've never liked coffee but when o was pregnant the smell just made me gag constantly. Can you imagine telling everyone around you they weren't allowed to drink coffee!! Honestly it still makes me scrunch op my nose !

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · Yesterday 18:25
LLMS2022 · Yesterday 16:24

Everyone banging on about HG? She said she had nausea, not HG. I think you are being slightly unreasonable, I had awful nausea and sickness with my first all day every day for months but it didn't even cross my mind to ask my DH to alter his diet? Bit unreasonable to ask him to come downstairs while he is working too.

That bit confused me. It's nausea, I had bad nausea but just got on with it. I didn't ask my partner to change the food he was eating”

I didn’t need to ask mine because he loves me and is considerate. He had seen the effect various odours had on me so avoided causing them. Isn’t that what you do, for someone you love, avoid making them feel worse if you can help it 🤷‍♀️

I agree, my DH made lots of room in his Man Brain for ways to help me or at least not make things worse for me. I think he felt I was taking one for the team growing his babies and a few adjustments on his part were the least he could do.
It's not alot to expect or ask.

Well I'm not precious 🤷‍♀️ food smells were the least of my worries, working 12 hr shifts in a hospital setting and all the unpleasant sights and smells that go with it was far worse! But, I just got on with it- because sometimes you just have to! And medication helped slightly.

It isn't a a lot to ask. It is to repeatedly interrupt someone when they're trying to work though.

No wonder employers are calling people back into the office. Productivity must be wank in a fair few places by this so called work from home bollocks.

Yabu. Calling someone who is working downstairs twice is unreasonable. If you are unable to open a window then he probably needs to book AL to look after child and you probably need to see someone.

Well tell her no!

You're the adult here.

I do think YABU.

YANBU, maybe he can wait until you’re out to cook those things. But please avoid the air freshener they are so toxic to children and yourself.

When I remember it I'm still bitter about the fact that when I saw a GP about sickness and nausea she told me they wouldn't do anything unless I needed to be hospitalised, implied medication would harm the baby and told me to try harder to drink. Also accused me of being negative about her suggestions of trying squash and whatever else she'd suggested.

I dropped nearly two dress sizes and my rings were falling off my fingers. Midwife looked confused when I talked to her about it and had no suggestions. Went on until about 22 weeks.

That's awful they let it get to that point! I'm so sorry you suffered like that. It was just a quick phone call to get some prescribed, but it was very much needed.