HORSE QUESTION Opinions please

[martinghell]

I’m the (proud) owner of the most beautiful ISH x ID mare. She is 9yo and 17hh. She’s bred to jump and does BS and lower level BE. I probably compete her at a lower level than her capabilities but she’s happy and that’s what matters

Our routine is fairly chilled however it’s what I’ve found makes her happiest. And it works for my life too. Win win. But recently I was approached at the yard and told it’s been noticed I don’t come up enough and she isn’t being ridden often enough and it heavily implied I’m neglecting her needs. I was told to loan her out if I ‘don’t have enough time for her in my life’ i don’t understand. My horse is happy. I’m happy. What’s the problem?

her current routine is to be ridden 3 times a week and lunged once. This is usually x1 jumping session, 1x flatwork schooling session, 1x hack (usually on the beach or woodland so sometimes end up having a gallop or jumping over logs and fences which she loves, but sometimes we just go for a chilled out hack) and then lunged aswell. So in work 4 times a week. Sometimes it’s slightly more and sometimes slightly less depending on weather and work but that’s a general average of our routine. She’s in the field 8am - 8pm everyday in a herd and is happy and performing so well with our current routine. I sometimes come up on non riding days too for cuddles and tlc but I pay hundreds a week for her to be on the best full livery in the area so I don’t come up everyday.

I’m currently studying for my phd and am insanely busy at the moment. But I’m never too busy for my horse. This would be our routine irrespective of me completing my phd because she’s happy with it.

the other owners are nice but I don’t really know them that well despite being at the yard for several years. We just rarely cross paths and it’s a huge competition yard. I was so upset and taken aback that I didn’t know what to say but was upset on the way home. It turns out theyve all been saying I’m a bad owner and she’s neglected and I’m wasting her talent and should loan her to someone with time for her. They usually come up every single day despite being on full livery which is obviously their choice and absolutely fine but if I pay for her to be mucked out then I’m not going to rush to come up everyday and do it myself. If I’m there, I’ll do it, but I dont stress about coming up everyday. And for them it’s a social thing which again is fine but I’m too busy to stand and chat at the hay bales for hours with them and my priority is my horse.

AIBU? Am I being a bad/negligent/lazy horse owner? Would you judge me for my routine?

It’s absolutely not the yard owner’s job to be policing the behaviour of their clients! Unless there is obvious neglect or law-breaking going on

It’s everything to do with the YO. I wouldn’t want one of our liveries to be unhappy due to the behaviour of a group of bitches. I’ve asked someone to find another yard before as their behaviour was upsetting other liveries. You should be able to enjoy a yard and your horse without dreading what anyone else is thinking or worrying what they’re going to say. I don’t have a high turnover of liveries as I want a happy yard and if I get as much as a whiff of bitching it’s sorted. I live here, I have no time for drama or an unsettled yard.

Err, you pay for full livery if you have a lot of demands on your time and you want to make sure your horse or pony doesn't suffer as a result. It has got nothing to do with 'adulting' yourself.

I have a horse that sounds very similar except he's a boy. Competes at BE. We ride him almost exactly the same as you do. He's fine. Your yard sounds horrid and maybe they are jealous.

Often conversations like that go on to ask if you would allow someone else to ride or compete.
Can be a genuine keen but hard up younger rider looking for help in an expensive sport.

You would know if your horse is unhappy,and you do know,so ignore the bullying.
Don't allow them to have any effect on you op.
Happy riding!🐴🐎

Someone wants your horse.

Your routine is fine. You’re happy. Your horse is happy. Tell them to piss off, your horse isn’t neglected and you’re not loaning out. Cheek of them.

Horses have no concept of talent and feelings of their talent is wasted. Your horse is happy, healthy and content with how things are and if you're ok with it then it is no one else's business. Ignore them. Not competing is not a welfare issue!

Ugh, livery yards are the worst. Your horse won't care if it's being ridden and would much prefer being in the field. I currently ride mine about twice a week due to the Weather and he's never been happier. Ignore them and I wouldn't advise a loaner either for many reasons. Honestly if the horse is happy and you're happy then who cares?

^ Sorry meant not being ridden

Her needs are being met. She's happy.

You sound like a great owner!

I'd carry on as you are and if anyone approaches you again I'd thank them for caring and say you're routine is based on what works best for your lovely mare.

OP sounds like a very capable adult who's making sure her mare is well cared for and happy.

I'm not sure what more you'd want her to be doing?

I’ve yet to meet the horse that stands wistfully in its stable dreaming of Burghley and muttering ‘Coulda been a contender…’

Not so long ago I had a livery (we are mostly a DIY yard) accuse me of falling out of love with my horse because I give him Oct-Feb off every year. He is 20 yrs old and has very regular vet checks/physio and I am OCD about his management. Seemingly she overlooked the excellent care he gets as in her mind not riding = not caring about your horse.
She went on to sell her 2 horses 6 months later because her new BF didn't like her spending so much time at the yard. But yeh I had fallen out of love with mine 🤣🤣🤣.
People are mad and horse people are downright nutters!

Most horse people are just awful. Interfering bunch of arse***

You sound like a fab owner OP x

Yes I totally agree re the OP.

My comment was about people who seem to think the YO should be expected to act like a Year 9 Form Tutor, sorting out squabbles and bitchiness among their clients. Which is rife in many yards.

I have 12 year old ISH and currently I do not ride much due to lots of differing factors but I will ride a lot more with the lighter evenings and better weather. When I got her she was in full livery at a competition yard. Yes she could compete and has done, she is very well schooled and events at lower level and show jumps. She hated livery, hated the limited turnout and much prefers to be out 24/7. Also I won't be doing any competing, I am a happy hacker. Personally, for me I don't think she particularly enjoyed the eventing/jumping anyhow. The lady who sold her to me was non-horsey (it was her daughters horse) and she said she never looked like she was enjoying jumping etc and just didn't have a spark about her when competing.

They do not know they are not reaching their full potential. I think as long as they are healthy, happy and doing what you enjoy then they have a good life. I also suspect a lot of injuries occur due to horses being pulled out of stables in livery yards without much turnout and not being fit enough to go show jumping at the weekend.................

Yanbu, at all. If your horse is happy, then who cares?! A horse has no concept of "potential", just a routine it likes. Ignore, they're jealous.

Ah, yes, this. I am familiar with it.

I had a very sharp county-level show hunter / WH some years ago who was better the less he was ridden during the season, given that we were competing most weekends.

He was 'tuned up' over the winter (BS / BD / jumping clinics / general schooling), but mostly left feral during the week when competing, apart from hacking out a couple of times a week. Incidentally, I NEVER jumped him at home through the season, I valued my life. 😁

Towards the end of the season we'd do a few hunter trials etc but as he didn't need to be eventing fit, he coped fine and enjoyed the change of scene.

I also gave him a lot of extended time off - chucked in the field (with appropriate rugs and checks, obviously) for two or three weeks at a time at least three times a year.

Your horse, your rules. My old boy (who left us some years ago, unfortunately) knew his own mind and I worked with him, rather enforcing my way on him, because when he was happy , it showed.

As a PP said, no horse is standing in the field with the sun on their back and grass at their feet dreaming of competing at the Olympics.

Also, the yard busy bodies will quite often go the other way also. I was the recipient of some pointed, PA comments at the weekend about 'over-work' and 'older horses needing a more quiet time' because I rode my older boy (he's in his late teens and perfectly sound and healthy, loving life in fact) in a hour's polework clinic in the morning and then took him out on a short hack to nanny friend's youngster in the afternoon - he wasn't a bit tired or overfaced, he'd charged his way enthusiastically through the morning's class, snorting, prancing on the spot, merrily booting the poles out of the way and refusing to stop when asked (to the extent I asked the instructor if I could run to the tack room for a stronger bit to try and establish some brakes and was told no, I just need to ride better ), then far from hobbling exhausted round the short 'baby' loop on the hack and setting a good example to the youngster, he disgraced himself by bouncing and jogging the whole way, begging to be allowed to canter on the grass verges and getting himself into a muck sweat in the process (horrible time of year when they've held onto their winter coats but the spring grass has started to turn them loopy). He might have looked as though he'd been galloping for hours when we came back onto the yard but I knew full well we'd gone 10 mins up the road and back and it was just him being an idiot, I probably should have lunged for 20 mins first if I wanted him to be quiet for the hack but that would probably have attracted comment too! But like I say, I know he's fine, arguing or explaining too much to the busybodies just fuels the fire so we move on...

Just checking the other livery didn't mean that your horse isn't being ridden enough in relation to the amount of hard feed she's fed? A DIY livery might see more of your horse's behaviour than you do. There are polite ways of raising this of course.

The concept that horses give a shit about fulfilling their own potential is laughable bollocks obviously.

As long as she is being kept fit enough for the work you do with her (which it sounds like she is) then there is no problem.

While of course horses do not need to be ridden, I think we do owe it to them where possible to keep a horses training and fitness up enough so that if something happened to you then they are marketable and have a good chance of finding a good home. You are doing more than enough work with her for that.

This with bells on

Sounds like someone is jealous and wants your horse for themselves as they think they'd do better/ride more/be more successful. This might be their way of making you feel guilty so you talk to people about it and then someone swoops in and offers to 'help'

Things like this happened loads with my one in a million fell pony who would turn his hoof to anything...i saw through it... people just wanted a safe ride/a hack/chance to compete on something ready made/ their child to ride something safe etc etc.

I'd be having strong words with the YO.

is someone hoping to make more money out of you?

Absolutely the same here, I can't be arsed with the associated harpies now. Several of them ruined my mental health and horse ownership for me in my 20s.