HORSE QUESTION Opinions please

[martinghell]

I’m the (proud) owner of the most beautiful ISH x ID mare. She is 9yo and 17hh. She’s bred to jump and does BS and lower level BE. I probably compete her at a lower level than her capabilities but she’s happy and that’s what matters

Our routine is fairly chilled however it’s what I’ve found makes her happiest. And it works for my life too. Win win. But recently I was approached at the yard and told it’s been noticed I don’t come up enough and she isn’t being ridden often enough and it heavily implied I’m neglecting her needs. I was told to loan her out if I ‘don’t have enough time for her in my life’ i don’t understand. My horse is happy. I’m happy. What’s the problem?

her current routine is to be ridden 3 times a week and lunged once. This is usually x1 jumping session, 1x flatwork schooling session, 1x hack (usually on the beach or woodland so sometimes end up having a gallop or jumping over logs and fences which she loves, but sometimes we just go for a chilled out hack) and then lunged aswell. So in work 4 times a week. Sometimes it’s slightly more and sometimes slightly less depending on weather and work but that’s a general average of our routine. She’s in the field 8am - 8pm everyday in a herd and is happy and performing so well with our current routine. I sometimes come up on non riding days too for cuddles and tlc but I pay hundreds a week for her to be on the best full livery in the area so I don’t come up everyday.

I’m currently studying for my phd and am insanely busy at the moment. But I’m never too busy for my horse. This would be our routine irrespective of me completing my phd because she’s happy with it.

the other owners are nice but I don’t really know them that well despite being at the yard for several years. We just rarely cross paths and it’s a huge competition yard. I was so upset and taken aback that I didn’t know what to say but was upset on the way home. It turns out theyve all been saying I’m a bad owner and she’s neglected and I’m wasting her talent and should loan her to someone with time for her. They usually come up every single day despite being on full livery which is obviously their choice and absolutely fine but if I pay for her to be mucked out then I’m not going to rush to come up everyday and do it myself. If I’m there, I’ll do it, but I dont stress about coming up everyday. And for them it’s a social thing which again is fine but I’m too busy to stand and chat at the hay bales for hours with them and my priority is my horse.

AIBU? Am I being a bad/negligent/lazy horse owner? Would you judge me for my routine?

Gossipy, sticky-beak, know-it-all drama queens are the absolute bane of almost every livery yard, in my experience. Maybe someone new has turned up and started stirring?

Your horse and routine sound lovely. Ignore the bitchiness (they’re probably just envious)

It’s absolutely not the yard owner’s job to be policing the behaviour of their clients! Unless there is obvious neglect or law-breaking going on.

Your routine sounds fine & as I tell me DD, nobody knows your horse like you do! You'd soon know if your horse wasn't happy...she sounds wonderful by the way!

We're on a large full livery yard & some people never come down, some are down all the time & most somewhere in between & that's up to them!

I suspect, with most things, that jealousy is at the root of it, bet they've got one of their mates lined up to loan her! 🤔

'A group of liveries' - did you mean to misspell harpies OP?

Christ on a cracker, they'd have a coronary on my yard then! My horse is in full work but the others are ridden as and when their owners feel like it and even then they only really potter about as they're semi-retired.

All this stuff about the horse "not fulfilling their potential" is bollocks. Horses do not stand in their field dreaming of Olympia and thinking wistfully, "I could be a star if only my owner rode me more". They understand having enough food to eat, being able to behave in the way that horses should (i.e. plenty of turnout and company), not being too hot or too cold, and not being in pain. That's a happy horse.

As long as your horse is fit enough to do the work you're asking them to do (I've known people who didn't bother to ride their horse for weeks then expected to go out round a BSJA course or out drag-hunting at the weekend - but it doesn't sound at ALL like this is the situation here) then I'd have to conclude that these opinionated sorts probably have their eye on you loaning your lovely horse to them because they're jealous.

Carry on enjoying your horse and stuff the bitter types!

Your horse sounds lovely and has a lovely life. It sounds like someone on the yard fancies getting to ride your horse. Don't whatever you do get drawn into this. I would speak to the yard owner and if anyone mentions it again tell them to mind their own business. Horses don't aspire to go competing. I have a yard full of horses who have not met their potential and they are as happy as larks. You sound like a great owner.

It’s absolutely not the yard owner’s job to be policing the behaviour of their clients! Unless there is obvious neglect or law-breaking going on

I respectfully disagree. In all yards the tone is set from the top down, and in the best ones, yard owners get to know their clients, remain managerial in their conduct, do t get drawn in to cliques or friendship groups, lay down certain practical rules while at the same time actively encouraging respect and helpfulness between clients and a good positive atmosphere. Even if they don't want to be, they are often drawn in to adjudicating minor disputes anyway, when for example someone borrows equipment or tack from a fellow client without asking, and it's better and easier to set the tone and rules from the start and actively enforce them. I was once on a yard where the owner had to expell two clients for maliciously tampering with someone else's horse! Honestly, you'd be surprised what people get up to without proper management.

Also, mares often don't tolerate over schooling. My yard is all mares and they have definite opinions about most things which they make very clear!

Agree with @elastamum you can bet your life one of those people has their eye on your horse. We are a professional equestrian household and when we had one of our top horses on livery while DHwas abroad, it was surprising just how many “well-meaning” people took it upon themselves to suggest that they could “help” me with his routine as I have a busy job and wasn’t “making the most of him”.

Ignore.

You are a great horse owner!
The only possible way it would be wrong is if your horse became difficult for you to handle - some riders want to ride their horses everyday, otherwise the horses get too energetic.
But that is Not True in your case. Your horse is happy, you are happy. I think your horse seems to have a lovely life!
Good Luck with you PhD! How exciting.

It's always the other bloody owners that are the problem . I always found them the biggest pain in the arse when mine were on livery .

Honestly. , bollocks to what they think . Your girl could pootle round the field 24/7 and not once , not once would she be fretting about being unfulfilled. She's your horse and you know her best . If she's not exhibiting stress behaviours , gets time to hack out and not just worked in the school in an endless strive for 'perfection' and gets lots of time to just be a horse , then I'd say you've got the balance just right . Constant niggling about is the quickest way to turn a horse sour .

I've had various horses for forty years , from endurance to eventers to advanced dressage horses . All of them , every last one benefited from a balanced lifestyle , and all had at least two days off a week and a daily mooch in a field . Endless trainers , clinics , competing - it's supposed to be something you do because you enjoy it , not because you think you should . And no, you don't have to let anyone else ride your pride and joy just because some self professed experts think so .

Stick to your routine - it obviously works for her . Let them worry about their own .

It's your horse you do what you like. take no notice which I know is easier said than done your horse is being well cared for. We got out of being in a yard and now rent our own which is bliss can't stand the everyone else knows best

That sounds like code speak for someone that has their eye on competing your horse! That is a perfectly good workload for a horse. A great life for her. Take no notice of the people that approached you, they’re rude and busybodies, and need telling that you’re perfectly happy with your horse’s routine and so is she, plus you do not appreciate their input in future. Don’t let them upset you. My horse has been semi retired since he was 14 (more retired than semi, I haven’t ridden him for three years!) As long as he’s looked after and has loads of turnout he’s happy as Larry. Horses don’t NEED to be ridden.

Yikes. This is such a cultural thing. I grew up in Australia with horses who lived for weeks down in the back paddock with no more involvement than regular checks to make sure they hadn't gotten tangled in a fence.

If your YO is happy, you are happy, your horse is happy, that's all that matters (and not in that order obviously but you know what I mean). Livery yards are the AIBU of the horse world.

If you're out happily competing and your horse is relaxed, which sounds very much the case rather than traumatically switched off which I'd bet at least one of their horses are, there's no issue.

I bet either one of them knows someone that wants to loan her, or wants your space on the yard.

I used to ride as a child and now my dd rides, what I've found out is that 99% of all equestrians have an opinion on your horse and your riding, and 99% of the time it's negative. I really dislike the fact that they also think it's completely acceptable to voice their opinion on you, regardless if it's rude, unwarranted and not asked for.

Carry on as you are op and ignore them, worse case is look for another yard that's more chilled out and relaxed.

This is the reason I no longer ride. Honestly the horsey world is full of these sanctimonious, jealous dickheads who feel obliged to foist their unwanted and frankly ridiculous opinions on people. Please ignore them, your horse and you are happy and healthy.

Hmm are they angling for you to let them have the horse on loan? Has someone got a lame horse and needs another one?

your horse sounds beautifully cared for. Horses do not understand human ambition and achievements. They don’t actually care.

And it depends what they mean by not cared for. Some owners are squeamish about their horses been out when actually it is when horses are much happier for it.

This. In spades. Start wearing ear pods at the yard and ignore everyone bar the YO.

First thing that springs to mind is that the person who said this to you has someone in mind for your horse to be loaned out to.

I stopped reading past the second para. Your horse has a lovely life with an owner that loves her. If she loves work, then being ridden is the cherry on top.

I have four ponies who all live out 24/7 as a herd. They are a happy and contented bunch. They do enjoy getting out and about but there are times life gets in the way and they won't be ridden for awhile. They don't care.

When I was on livery people always had something to say about what you were doing and it was rarely positive. I did have one person tell me I didn't deserve my Highland pony because I didn't show him! And yes, she was after him.

Ignore them all, OP, it sounds like you have a lovely mare and a good relationship with her.

Your horse has food, water, shelter, company and appropriate healthcare. These are the ONLY essentials to horse ownership, horses don't give a damn about the rest. You do you.

It’s absolutely not the yard owner’s job to be policing the behaviour of their clients! Unless there is obvious neglect or law-breaking going on.

I don't really agree with that - if I was at the gym and someone took it upon themselves to say that I could achieve more I tried harder/came more often/took their advice, I'd absolutely be expecting the gym management to tell them to stop or else. To many yards are a free-for-all because the management don't realise they have to manage people as well as horses!

Other liveries are, on the whole, dreadful. Nothing you do will ever be right - you'll either ride her into the ground or not ride her enough, or there will be some other pointless unfounded criticism. I'd imagine it's jealousy so I'd rise above it, enjoy your horse and let them carry on as they were. They'll find another target at some point. For what it's worth your horse sounds as if she has a great life!

Ah well. My (40-odd years) experience of horse owning has all been DIY livery. I suppose if people need a sort of semi-riding-school arrangement with professional supervision, that’s why they’re paying for full livery. Fair enough.
But if you can’t “adult” yourself, I’m not sure you should be owning and handling horses.

There is only one correct answer to this type of livery. It consists of 2 words beginning with an F and an O.