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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at MIL

20 replies

Austin0210 · 25/03/2023 22:30

Backstory - DD is 5 months old next week and has an extreme feeding aversion (absolutely hates her bottle) finally was diagnosed with a cows milk allergy and given prescription milk which helped to some extent but the aversion is still there. We've been cleared by dietician to start purées to help sustain weight (please don't attack about starting solids early I feel bad enough) so we have been going very slowly with this, not forcing foods, taking it very gently as we don't want her aversion to start on foods too. MIL has always been pushy around DD, forcing her to feed from the bottle (we now don't allow her to feed her) and offering her foods after we have said what our plans are, she either doesn't listen or knows best. Today she decided it would be a good idea to give DD some of my nieces fruit pastille ice lolly, DH told her not to and she left the room we assume embarrassed as this was in front of company. I read the ingredients and it say may contain milk, it probably doesn't but it's not the point.. its also full of other things she hasn't ever had before.

I'm annoyed that we want to introduce textures, tastes etc slowly as not to pass on the aversion but MIL doesn't listen, I now won't allow DD round there on her own.

Aibu?

OP posts:
StaceySolomonSwash · 25/03/2023 22:32

Ice lolly in March? 🙄

Austin0210 · 25/03/2023 22:39

StaceySolomonSwash · 25/03/2023 22:32

Ice lolly in March? 🙄

Yep 😆

OP posts:
Elsamit · 25/03/2023 22:41

No you most certainly are not being unreasonable. She is your baby and you do things how you want. Babies were most likely weaned far earlier in your MIL's day before the current thinking of 6 months +. Sadly, it seems that she is a, "my way is the right way" type. She really needs to respect your wishes on this.

Strainzer · 25/03/2023 23:29

MIL has always been pushy around DD, forcing her to feed from the bottle

she decided it would be a good idea to give DD some of my nieces fruit pastille ice lolly, DH told her not to and she left the room we assume embarrassed as this was in front of company. I read the ingredients and it say may contain milk

Your first priority is to keep your baby alive and safe. You certainly should not leave your child unattended with this person, it would be completely irresponsible to do otherwise.

Lulu2171 · 25/03/2023 23:35

She's a dick. Make your DH fight the fight though.

Randobelia · 25/03/2023 23:46

If it makes you feel better OP there is a thread on here discussing optimal weaning time being 4-6 months and NHS guidelines being outdated. Particularly in regards to allergies.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 25/03/2023 23:49

Randobelia · 25/03/2023 23:46

If it makes you feel better OP there is a thread on here discussing optimal weaning time being 4-6 months and NHS guidelines being outdated. Particularly in regards to allergies.

Yes, this is true, so may make you feel a little better, Op, but of course the real issue is her not listening and overriding you as though she knows best. She’s overstepping boundaries and I don’t blame you in being annoyed. You’re within your rights to be annoyed and draw a line in the sand.

PinkiOcelot · 25/03/2023 23:53

StaceySolomonSwash · 25/03/2023 22:32

Ice lolly in March? 🙄

Why not an ice lolly in March? They’re in supermarkets all year round.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 25/03/2023 23:55

ATerrorofLeftovers · 25/03/2023 23:49

Yes, this is true, so may make you feel a little better, Op, but of course the real issue is her not listening and overriding you as though she knows best. She’s overstepping boundaries and I don’t blame you in being annoyed. You’re within your rights to be annoyed and draw a line in the sand.

Ha! I was about to post about this!

I read the thread and my daughter had an doctor’s appointment the following day about something else. The doctor brought this up (unprompted!) and said she was ready to start solid food and the latest research suggests it reduces allergies but the official guidance hasn’t been updated yet.

Short version - don’t feel bad.

TomatoSandwiches · 25/03/2023 23:55

Our youngest was weaned at 5 months in hospital on the reccomendatoin of SALT and dietician so no judgement there at all op.

You have to advocate for your DD she has medical needs that should be adhered to, if MIL is so daft she cannot control herself or understand this then you do what you have to do.

I really hate when people in the family make a tough job even harder especially due to their own selfish desires.

Hankunamatata · 26/03/2023 00:14

Poor dc 3 was munching stuff (licking) at 4 months as his siblings wanted to share with him all the time. I wouldn't worry. The issue is she isn't listening

Austin0210 · 26/03/2023 07:47

Wow thank you! I will check out this thread now!

DH is going to be speaking to MIL today 😬 they are a non confrontational family where mum rules the roost so it will be interesting to see where this goes!

OP posts:
ChickenDhansak82 · 26/03/2023 07:50

YANBU!

Clearly she cannot be trusted and has no respect for your rules so I would absolutely not allow any unsupervised contact.

ChickenDhansak82 · 26/03/2023 07:50

YANBU!

Clearly she cannot be trusted and has no respect for your rules so I would absolutely not allow any unsupervised contact.

LookItsMeAgain · 26/03/2023 08:12

Austin0210 · 26/03/2023 07:47

Wow thank you! I will check out this thread now!

DH is going to be speaking to MIL today 😬 they are a non confrontational family where mum rules the roost so it will be interesting to see where this goes!

I'd imagine a "mother knows best" type response, maybe some tears when she's told she's not doing right by her grandchild and perhaps some flouncing off in a huff.

As for the mother knows best, your DH must say that yes, the baby's mother (I.e. you) does know best. The rest of the stuff your DH must leave her to her devices and if that gives you time and space, all the better.

Best of luck!

Austin0210 · 26/03/2023 08:17

Randobelia · 25/03/2023 23:46

If it makes you feel better OP there is a thread on here discussing optimal weaning time being 4-6 months and NHS guidelines being outdated. Particularly in regards to allergies.

I don't suppose anyone has the link to this thread? TIA!

OP posts:
Austin0210 · 26/03/2023 08:28

Thank you!!

OP posts:
GoodChat · 26/03/2023 08:33

Did she like the ice lolly?

Austin0210 · 26/03/2023 08:38

GoodChat · 26/03/2023 08:33

Did she like the ice lolly?

I don't think she liked how cold it was, I should imagine she loved the taste though! She spent the next 4-5 hours screaming down the house, not sure if it was a coincidence or she was having a bit of a sugar crash!

OP posts:
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