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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it inappropriate to give parents expensive presents if sibling can’t afford to do same

28 replies

calmfarm85 · 25/03/2023 09:32

Both in our 30s. Sibling doesn't work/earn much due to health issues. I (and partner) earn a very good salary. I (we) like spending lots on presents for our parents as we like sharing our good fortune by gifting parents expensive things sometimes for birthdays/Christmas as we can afford it (be it an ipad, an experience type gift or a few hundred pounds for short breaks etc).

However I always feel conscience that this might be make my sibling feel awkward/uncomfortable (they are also my older sibling by a few years which sort of increases the awkwardness). But then not doing so and holding off spending money purely for this reason also feels a bit strange/overthinking. My sibling has never indicated they find it insensitive/awkward etc .. but then they probably wouldn’t even if they did.

Parents are always super happy to receive gifts and have never expressed any awkwardness about situation. And we also spend quite a lot on sibling gifts (but again, always conscious in the back of my mind not to go overboard). Would be interested to hear peoples take on this, especially people in similar family situations.

OP posts:
ABlindAssassin · 25/03/2023 10:26

DH's sister and her husband are much richer than us. They have bought my PIL a house. Buy them holidays for their birthdays etc. We buy them jumpers and plants 🤣 My PIL totally understand our different circumstances and appreciate the plants just as much as the holidays (at least to our faces 😆)

StJulian2023 · 25/03/2023 10:33

My DPs live in a house bought by my sibling. Sibling’s gifts to all family members are more than we could ever come close to matching. They say it is a pleasure.

StJulian2023 · 25/03/2023 10:33

ABlindAssassin · 25/03/2023 10:26

DH's sister and her husband are much richer than us. They have bought my PIL a house. Buy them holidays for their birthdays etc. We buy them jumpers and plants 🤣 My PIL totally understand our different circumstances and appreciate the plants just as much as the holidays (at least to our faces 😆)

Yes! Jumpers and plants!

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