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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What isn’t essential from this list?

54 replies

SingleMumofOne95 · 22/03/2023 18:43

I’ve had a request to only pack the essential things in my child’s nursery bag because they have said that there’s too much in there - I pack a set of spare clothes, nappies and wipes because not fully toilet trained, drinks for the day, hat and gloves if it’s cold and then their coat if they aren’t wearing it as they go in.

What can I actually remove from this bag that isn’t essential because I’m genuinely confused right now…

OP posts:
Okunevo · 22/03/2023 19:06

If she is happy drinking water then she shouldn't need other drinks, they weren't allowed when DS was nursery age.

OhHeyBabe · 22/03/2023 19:09

SingleMumofOne95 · 22/03/2023 19:05

She doesn’t like it when her clothes get wet or muddy etc and has sensory issues hence the spare clothes as before they sent her home in clothes that weren’t appropriate (think shorts and socks in freezing cold weather).

Nappies and wipes aren’t provided and she only drinks certain drinks. The bag is a normal size and everything fits in nicely, but it’s literally a case of leaving the bag on her peg all day so it’s not like someone is having to carry it around etc. I think I might ask them to keep the stuff there and if they say no because of space etc then I’ll just keep the bag as it is

Can you send her in a properly waterproof all in one so not so many spare clothes needed?

EmmaDilemma5 · 22/03/2023 19:09

WonderingWanda · 22/03/2023 19:01

If they are wearing nappies then ditch the spare clothes or ditch the nappies and keep the spare clothes, surely both aren't needed? Most schools and nursery's have some spares in case of emergency.

Ditch the goves and get some on a string to thread through the coat.

Bit weird of them to request this, is the bag too small so it's all falling out or is it taking up too much space? Do they expect your dc to get stuff out of the bag?

My child's in nappies and regularly needs a change due to leakage. Or due to getting wet outside or paint over their clothes.

A change of clothes is even more important for the younger kids from my experience.

SingleMumofOne95 · 22/03/2023 19:10

@Okunevo she has a disability which means she only drinks certain drinks, she’s allowed them

OP posts:
EmmaDilemma5 · 22/03/2023 19:10

I think your bag sounds perfect. I'd ask them to clarify

Easternext · 22/03/2023 19:13

yogaretreat · 22/03/2023 18:49

I probably wouldn't bother with hat and gloves as not sure the staff would have time to put gloves on, unless it's actually freezing!

If they go in the garden off course hat and gloves go on!! In our nursery they do anyway.

yogaretreat · 22/03/2023 19:19

@Easternext my son has never worn gloves, I've only seen the other little ones wear them when it's snowy 🤷‍♀️ maybe it depends on the age. My son didn't go to nursery when he was small, he just started at 3.

Change of clothes definitely needed as he gets absolutely filthy!

Okunevo · 22/03/2023 19:19

Easternext · 22/03/2023 19:13

If they go in the garden off course hat and gloves go on!! In our nursery they do anyway.

You'd know at 8am if they needed to bring them. Surely they aren't wearing them at the moment, they'd overheat running around? I'd only have sent them in the cold snaps.

melj1213 · 22/03/2023 19:27

SingleMumofOne95 · 22/03/2023 19:10

@Okunevo she has a disability which means she only drinks certain drinks, she’s allowed them

She might be allowed them but does she need them?

Are they a meal replacement drink that she needs like Fortisips or just another thing she'll drink like a fruit shoot?

If your DD will drink water and has a water bottle at the nursery then does she also need these other drinks or are they just in her bag to give extra options? If so then I'd say maybe send a maximum of one other drink in her bag.

Also the hat/gloves aren't necessary on a daily basis and the coat can just go on her peg separately so that slims it down to just nappies/wipes and spare clothes.

MadeofCheeese · 22/03/2023 19:32

Just started nursery this week.
They have asked for 3 sets of clothes, shoes, had gloves and a bottle.
Nappies and wipes are provided.
Your bag sounds fine!

SpamIAm · 22/03/2023 19:43

If it was a general message then I'd ignore - your bag sounds fine! I always leave gloves and a hat in my little ones bag, they're tiny and it's better than forgetting them when they are needed. There's probably a sun hat in the bottom as well 😂

At least one change of clothes is definitely essential.

Cocobutt · 22/03/2023 19:43

I assume when they say non essential items they mean things like toys .

LindorDoubleChoc · 22/03/2023 19:44

Ask the nursery.

Cocobutt · 22/03/2023 19:46

Sorry I thought this was a message to everyone not you specifically.

I would definitely ask them.

mynameiscalypso · 22/03/2023 19:49

I think given what you've said about her disabilities, your bag is more than reasonable and I'd just ignore the nursery

Mumofnarnia · 22/03/2023 19:49

Hat, gloves and drinks. Also possibly the spare set of clothes? My daughter’s nursery used to have loads of spare clothes donated so if a child had an accident or got drenched in puddles etc they used to change her into their clothes and would send her dirty ones home in a carrier bag. I would then wash the nursery clothes and hand them back.

MarchMadness23 · 22/03/2023 19:50

WonderingWanda · 22/03/2023 19:01

If they are wearing nappies then ditch the spare clothes or ditch the nappies and keep the spare clothes, surely both aren't needed? Most schools and nursery's have some spares in case of emergency.

Ditch the goves and get some on a string to thread through the coat.

Bit weird of them to request this, is the bag too small so it's all falling out or is it taking up too much space? Do they expect your dc to get stuff out of the bag?

@WonderingWanda being in nappies doesn't stop them getting muddy, covered in paint, 5ipping a drink down themselves etc

@SingleMumofOne95 I'd hang the coat on the hook, maybe get a bigger bag if it's too small. Get them spec savers vouchers!

WeCome1 · 22/03/2023 19:51

If you put her coat on her peg does that mean it’s easier for them to find what they want from her bag?

SquigglePigs · 22/03/2023 20:00

I wouldn't change anything in that bag. DD is out of nappies now so we don't need those but otherwise that's basically what's in hers apart from the drinks. She also has a fleece or cardigan in hers as sometimes she wants to wear one over her clothes. At our nursery they're still putting hats and gloves on to play outside if they have them so I wouldn't take them out yet. Maybe in a month or so. Then soon after that the sunhats go in instead!

Luckyluv · 22/03/2023 20:03

In my bag is

  • spare clothes - vest, long sleeve top, leggings, socks (these were on the list of required items)
  • empty sippy cup (they fill them up in the morning)
  • 2 dummies in a box
  • all in one rainsuit with fleece lining

DC goes in wearing a coat.

Nappies and wipes are provided by us periodically. We get sent a notification and we drop off a big box of nappies. My DC is prone to nappy rash, so I dropped off the wipes and cream we like to use too. All the kids at nursery have their own shelf for nappies/wipes/cream etc. So you don't send them in everyday- you drop it all off in bulk and replenish when requested.

I have a friend who works in a nursery and she said huge or heavy bags that parents bring in are annoying because they take up so much space other kids bags can't be hooked on to the wall. Or in some instances they're so heavy they pull the hook off the wall.

Maybe a rule of thumb is - if a 3yr old couldn't walk into the nursery with the bag on their back, then it's likely too much stuff you're sending in or the bag is too big.

Albiboba · 22/03/2023 20:06

Why don’t you just ask them?

I don’t see why you send in any drinks, surely they only drink water at nursery anyway?

I just have a pair of leggings, vest, socks and cardigan in DC’s nursery bag and her dummy is clipped onto the top for nap time.
Nappies, wipes etc are kept in nursery.

I wouldn’t put a coat in the bag. If they need to keep going into the bag for nappies and wipes it’s annoying to have big things like coats in the way. Doesn’t it just go on a hook?

Lemonandorange · 22/03/2023 20:18

My son's nursery bag contains the same items, as well as a pair of slippers to change into at nursery, never had any issues. I'd ask them to clarify what isn't needed

Kranke · 22/03/2023 20:24

We bring in a big pack of nappies and 2 packs of wipes and they are left at the nursery - who has time to rummage in a bag for wipes and nappies when you’re changing all those nappies each day?! We have a cup that is left there.

The bag goes on their peg and we bring it in on Monday (4no T-shirts, 4no jumpers, 4no trousers), so they have a change of clothes for each day and we don’t have to faff about bringing them in each morning. They give us any dirty clothes at the end of each day.

AlltheFs · 22/03/2023 20:24

How odd. I think that’s hardly anything!

We send 5 full changes of clothes plus a wet bag in her bag as DD is so mucky. She also has various hats and gloves, 2 different puddlesuits and coats (thick and thin), wellies and slippers that all live at nursery.

We don’t supply nappies, drinks or wipes though - DD toilet trained now anyway but they are all provided (although we used cloth which we provided).

Azandme · 22/03/2023 20:28

I'd take the coat out of the bag, string the gloves through the sleeves, and hang it on the peg.

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